Insurance for transformers

[Arcee]

My boss's boss today publicly asked me a question:

What insurance should transformers go for, life insurance or car insurance?

:(:confused:

[Aqua Prime]

I personally would have answered Idiot Insurance ;)

[Arcee]

I personally would have answered Idiot Insurance ;)
I still want my job Aqua!!!! :o

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

Life insurance. Not all of them turn into cars.
Except Optimus Prime, the premiums would be murder.

[GoktimusPrime]

I agree with Odie - definitely life insurance because their cars are just their disguises. And also as he said, only some Transformers transform into cars, you also have jets, radio-cassette players, MP3 players, earphones, vending machines, toasters, mobile phones, game console controllers, dogs, wolves, eagles, squid, boars, penguin, giraffe, woolly mammoth, gorillas, mandrill, monkey, boats, tree, kangaroo, koala, Tasmanian Devil, crocodiles, dragons, bats, bicycle, skateboard, motorcycles, scooters, binoculars, microscopes, firearms, cannons, tanks, APCs, air craft carriers, drill tanks, wrist watches, milkshakes, hamburgers, bears, dinosaurs, pterosaurs, planets, Death Star, spaceships, falcons, tigers, lions, sharks, shellfish, whales, shoes, TV, photocopier, people, monsters, giant people, trains, cheetahs, jaguars, USBs etc etc etc.

As if "car insurance" would just cover that. Also, car insurance is a form of property insurance, and imposing property insurance on a sentient beings raises serious moral and ethical questions - arguably crossing over to slavery; although one could argue if the universal declaration of human rights applies to extra-terrestrial non-biological entities (probably not). Of course, if someone isn't entitled to full human rights, then are they eligible to apply for insurance? After all, minors don't have full rights thus they cannot apply for insurance themselves. I suppose someone else could insure them as their custodians or guardians (e.g. a government); but new laws would probably have to be formed in order to allow that to happen.

Car insurance? That's just insulting their dignity as rational agents. <nerd.rage>

[Cat]

They'd be ineligible for life insurance. They'd fail too many criteria to be eligible for any kind of life insurance.

<<<Anti-Joke Chicken. (The second Anti-Joke Chicken, I guess).

[mknell]

Wouldn't it be under home and contents insurance?

[Tetsuwan Convoy]

I'd say life insurance, but to be honest, with the high risk of dying, after all they are in the midst of a civil war, I very much doubt that any insurance company would want to take that on. Plus imagine how much the parts must cost for living machines....

Optimus could well be up for fraudulent activity as well. Dying, then his claim goes to his next of kin and BAM! He's back again! And on holiday in the Bahamas. Oh how conveneient...:rolleyes:

[griffin]

Wouldn't it be under home and contents insurance?

For the toys, yes.

It took me a while to figure it out as well, but this was just asking hypothetically if Transformers were real - since they have vehicle modes, what insurance would they be eligible for?

[Cat]

OT: Everyone should ensure their collections are insured.

I KNOW most people don't have adequate coverage for theirs.

[Arcee]

I guess a more perplex question would be: for a transformer with car mode, health insurance or car insurance?

So basically, say if Bumblebee's got battle damaged, to save his life and restore his health is not so much different work for Ratchet as what it takes for a mechanic to repair a crashed car.

[GoktimusPrime]

Not necessarily. Repairing car parts on a Transformer is like doing plastic surgery on a human... it's only on the surface. The internal workings of a Cybertronian are far beyond what an average motor mechanic would be able to comprehend.

e.g.:
+ In G1 (Power Play!) while Sparkplug was able to repair Bumblebee, he did remark that it was a more higher level job than on a normal car. G1 did portray Sparkplug as being an above average mechanic though (in the cartoon he was like a freakin' genius! e.g. being able to assist in repairing Omega Supreme and construct Autobot X! :eek:)

+ When Bumblebee was killed by G.I. Joe Mainframe remarked that he was unable to piece him back together because the technology was beyond his understanding -- the Joes later did rebuild Bumblebee as Goldbug with Ratchet's assistance.

+ When Raoul opened up Tracks' bonnet he was amazed at his teched out engine (yet primitive enough for Tracks' core consciousness to go offline if a single and poorly protected wire is severed! :p)

So even if it fell under a form of automotive insurance, it would have to be an entirely different kind from normal auto insurance. I think really it'd have to be something different from normal life and auto insurance. It should really be classified as a kind of life/health insurance (because you're dealing with living and sentient beings here, not property). And an auto-moded Autobot wouldn't be sent to a regular mechanic for repair... it's not as if Mikaela's gaolbird dad fixed any of the Autobots when they were damaged. Repairing an Autobot would require medical attention beyond what a mechanic could offer.

The parts would be completely different because their panels and stuff have nanoscopic (?) seams and stuff that come apart during transformation -- if you replaced say a panel that divides into different parts during transformation with a normal car panel, either that panel would hinder transformation, or it would be torn apart! It'd be like replacing a human's leg with a prosthetic leg with NO knee or ankle joint... they absolutely would not be able to walk on that with any remote semblance of a normal stride.

It's not as if you could just replace the chest plate of an Autobot who transforms into a Harrier jet fighter with the front grille of a Rolls Royce (http://tfwiki.net/w2/images2/a/a4/AerialAssault_Slightshot_newchest.jpg); that'd just be stupid, right? :p ;) :p

[bowspearer]

Actually, it'd be closer to industrial insurance than anything as you'd be dealing in some highly advanced electro-mechanical repairs being required.

[Cat]

It's not as if you could just replace the chest plate of an Autobot who transforms into a Harrier jet fighter with the front grille of a Rolls Royce (http://tfwiki.net/w2/images2/a/a4/AerialAssault_Slightshot_newchest.jpg); that'd just be stupid, right? :p ;) :p

Like fixing a human heart with parts off a pig, or a mechanical device to make it beat regularly.

;)

[GoktimusPrime]

I imagine both of those procedures would be covered under life insurance and not say livestock insurance for the pig parts or content insurance for the mechanical device.

[Cat]

Those procedures would have coverage by health insurance. :rolleyes:

[Paulbot]

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6051/6375568715_aa06eae3e0_b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/paulbot/6375568715/)
Insurance policy (http://www.flickr.com/photos/paulbot/6375568715/) by Paulbot (http://www.flickr.com/people/paulbot/), on Flickr

[GoktimusPrime]

Those procedures would have coverage by health insurance. :rolleyes:
Yeah anyway, either way it's not gonna be covered by a form of property insurance like car insurance. When a Transformer is injured or wounded then it's a health issue, not a vehicle issue.

If anything, car insurance for Transformers might cover vehicles that they drive - but not themselves.
e.g.: Gunrunner's shell, Roadgrabber's shell, Circuit's Exo-Suit etc. -- but of course, these would all be classified as military vehicles, not civilian vehicles or even ex-military vehicles that civilians collect. I don't know how the Army handles liability for their own automotive vehicles that are currently in service, so I can't even begin to speculate on how that could apply to Cybertronian vehicles.

But another question is... how or why would Cybertronians apply for insurance from humans? First of all, would they even be legally entitled to enter in a contract with an insurance firm? What's to stop a Cybertronian from transporting their vehicle through a space bridge and then claiming it as having been destroyed in combat as a form of insurance fraud? What would Cybertronians use to PAY their premiums? Does NRMA accept payments in Shanix? (I somehow doubt that any stock exchange on Earth would be capable of converting Shanix to Earth currencies) - store Energon reserves? Humans don't really have much need for Energon without the technology to access it, thus it may hold no intrinsic value for fleshlings (unlike say gold reserves).

And look at it from an actuarial POV... precisely how would one calculate the risk factors for Cybertronian health insurance or vehicle insurance?? Aside from being actively involved in an intergalactic civil war that drives the risk up, insurance of course works by sharing the risk... and here's where it can work against the Transformers' favour - first of all, would there be enough Transformers on Earth to bring the cost of premiums down? Secondly, with virtually every Transformer being involved in conflict, it would massively drive the cost of premiums up. Look at the cost of car insurance for under 25 age drivers... a lot of young drivers can drive pretty safely, but the premiums for that age group of drivers is more expensive because there are a notable number of drivers in that age bracket drive recklessly. And each time someone in that group goes and does something stupid and trashes their car, it drives the cost of premiums up. And of course, premiums can go up when you lodge a claim where you're the driver at fault. With life insurance premiums can go up if you partake in certain dangerous activities like extreme sports.

So even IF insurance companies offered insurance products for Transformers, I don't know if it'd be worth it. Might be more efficient for the Transformers to look after themselves... just get Ratchet or First Aid or Fixit to repair them, or Wheeljack to fix up busted vehicles. They can get parts directly from their own sources instead of relying on humans to try to approximate parts from primitive (and most likely very expensive) human technology (even if it were reverse-engineered from Cybertronian technology). I mean, unless that human tech is being designed by someone like Dr. Biggles-Jones...

So... I guess they could take insurance out with COBRA... but then they'd have to endure listening to their broker go on and on about how he "used to be a man!" :p

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

If anything, car insurance for Transformers might cover vehicles that they drive - but not themselves.I (http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Image:MakeHoistHuffer.jpg) dunno (http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Image:Skeet_surfin.jpg)...:p

[GoktimusPrime]

I (http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Image:MakeHoistHuffer.jpg) dunno (http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Image:Skeet_surfin.jpg)...:p

Those are their comrades, not non-sentient/living vehicles that they're piloting. Also, they're not operating their comrades. It's similar to this (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_r959I00kE7I/TJSvv-V9mjI/AAAAAAAAAdE/gkCP0RxUsDM/s1600/SamCarriesFrodoSceneReturnKing.jpg).

Better examples of vehicles for Transformers would be stuff like Gunrunner's shell, Roadgrabber's shell, Circuit's Exo-Suit, Roughstuff's trailer, Armoured Convoy, Turbo Cycle, Turbo Racer, Attack Cruiser, Off-Road Cycle, 4WD All-Terrain Vehicle, 4WD Assault Vehicle etc. - actual piloted vehicles and not sentient/living beings who happen to transform into vehicles, even if other Transformers operate them (like say Junkions).

The pitfall is whenever people try to apply stinking^human standards to a clearly superior^non-human species. If an Earthen insurance company wanted to prepare a product to sell to Transformers, they would have to create an entirely new kind of product just for them... and as I said in my previous post, I'm not entirely convinced that it would really be viable for either the insurance provider or the potential insured (e.g. risk calculations, premiums etc.)

[Cat]

See that no fun remains......

[griffin]

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6051/6375568715_aa06eae3e0_b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/paulbot/6375568715/)
Insurance policy (http://www.flickr.com/photos/paulbot/6375568715/) by Paulbot (http://www.flickr.com/people/paulbot/), on Flickr

Very funny... and you did that all yourself? Nice. :)

At least it brought some fun back to the topic.

[Paulbot]

Very funny... and you did that all yourself? Nice. :)

At least it brought some fun back to the topic.

Thanks. I had the idea when the thread started (Sam must have needed insurance on his car) but it took me until last night to do the screen caps and put it together.

[UltraMarginal]

Very funny... and you did that all yourself? Nice. :)

At least it brought some fun back to the topic.

+5:cool:

[bowspearer]

Yeah anyway, either way it's not gonna be covered by a form of property insurance like car insurance. When a Transformer is injured or wounded then it's a health issue, not a vehicle issue.

Your point here is fallacious though. Noone is debating that it is a health issue, but health insurance companies are set up to process claims from human physicians of one type or another.

The types of surgeries and treatments that Transformers require though, fall under the category of advanced industrial repairs by human standards, be they performed by Perceptor, Wheeljack, Ratchet, Chip, Sparkplug, Spike, or any other mechanical or engineering whiz-kid/genius.

That's why I said industrial insurance. The standard car mechanic would be lost when working on a Transformer, ruling out car insurance. Likewise, while these are health issues; by human standards these are not health treatments thus health insurance doesn't apply.

The only insurance which exists and which covers the types of complex and highly expensive repairs required here, is industrial insurance.