Less Than Meets the Eye: The 12 Most Ridiculous Transformers of All Time

[jaydisc]

From GeekDad (http://blog.wired.com/geekdad/2008/08/less-than-meets.html).... 'tis most amusing. I'm impressed that the author is so knowledgeable. He must be a collector.

[Pulse]

I saw this over at Seibertron the other day & it left me shaking my head... :rolleyes:

I've only got one q - Why didn't Wheelie make the list??? :D

[Paulbot]

It's a very broad-level list that shows a lack of deep understanding of the characters and the fiction universes, but he's writing a list for Wired so the audience is at most casual Transformer fans who could easily read these descriptions and chuckle 'what were they thinking'.

[GoktimusPrime]

I agree. Whoever wrote that article is a TF noobz.

Cosmos: He wasn't part of the original crew aboard the Ark. He arrived on Earth afterwards. The cartoon never explained how but in the comics he was part of a contingent of Autobot reinforcements from Cybertron who crossed over from the Decepticon Space Bridge.

Waspinator: This guy is funny. He serves as a comic relief character which lends the show a light hearted attitude - after all, as awesome as Beast Wars was for scifi fans, it was fundamentally a children's cartoon designed to sell toys to kids. But it does so without talking down to the audience (unlike say Wheelie and Daniel). Yes, Waspinator is like Kenny from South Park. So what? South Park isn't a cartoon that talks down to its audience (if anything it's very much written purely for adults).

Kup: he did do a lot more than just complaining. This guy needs to revise G1's Target: 2006 and the Time Wars. (-_-)

Arcee: I agree that the inclusion of Arcee was purely an act of political correctness. Her origin story sucked IMO. Having said that the character was never much better or worse than most other Autobots in G1 - she was basically a standard warrior. She did start sucking after Season 3 though, becoming the "doting maternal figure" over Daniel in The Rebirth and worse still in The Headmasters where she was little more than a receptionist for Fortress Maximus. (-_-)

Death Zaras: He's talking about this character's incarnation in the G1 manga which is drastically different from his incarnation in the G1 animé. In the G1 manga the Victory Decepticons turned out to be a bunch of softies. Did it suck? Hell yes, but that doesn't mean the character sucks overall. He was a pretty good villain in the cartoon. And despite this person's claim of "maturity" and disdain for juvenile humour, half of his criticism over the Breast Force is based on "breasts = boobs." Cos that's funny when you're in Year 3. (-_-)

Heinlad: The fact that he's the only Transformer whose alt mode specifically has testicles and carrys a gourd of grog is pretty funny I must admit, but again, his beast mode is based more on the Japanese mythological portrayal of a Tanuki - so again, his comments are displaying an ignorance of Japanese culture (and the toy was only ever intended for that market). As if Ned Kelly doesn't look like a walking letter-box to people who are ignorance of Australian history (in fact he does look like a freakin' human mailbox!!). (-_-) Again, this guy is giggling at testicles despite his aforementioned hatred toward Waspinator based on the rationale of immaturity. The alarm clock gimmick is a pretty neat idea (although it's never worked properly on mine) and the character's Time Freeze ability has got to be one of the best powers ever in Transformers!

Huffer: what the hell is he on about there? And cos we were all in uni when Huffer came out in 1984... (-_-) (not that I ever lived on campus or had dorm mates)

Ultra Magnus: "Damn" isn't a swear word and it's not as bad as what Spike said! And the Matrix chose Hot Rod to be Rodimus Prime. It wasn't Ultra Magnus' decision to make him leader, so why blame him for it?? That's just r-tarded. And although even I give Ultra Magnus a lot of flak for being constantly pwned by Galvatron over and over and over again - Galvatron was a freakin' demi-god (re: Time Wars)! The fact that Ultra Magnus was even able to go toe-to-toe with him time after time was an awesome achievement in itself!

Fire Convoy: what the?!? What's this guy's beef? How is a fire engine any better or worse an alt mode for an Autobot leader than a Freightliner semi-truck?? As Neil Kaplan (voice actor for RiD OP) once said, Fire Convoy has the honour of being hero all the time. When he's not fighting Decepticons or Predacons he's off fighting fires, saving property and lives. So BACK OFF!! :p

Shockwave: zomg... his appraisal of Shockwave just reeks of absolute ignorance. Hello?!? HELLO?? Faaaaaaaar out!
http://inlinethumb48.webshots.com/15343/2252503330100811158S425x425Q85.jpg

Ratbat: ...redshirt?! Ratbat was became Decepticon leader!

Frenzy: *lowers head and shakes it* Lame lame lame lame lame LAME!

[STL]

I don't think for a moment its intended to be taken seriously. But its a funny view of things sure enough.

[Paulbot]

Goktimus expands on my thoughts, but I would put Heinlad on such a list though.

Along with Windbreaker.

Because testicles and fart jokes are funny. :)

[kup]

This list mostly sucks. Some of them could be justified when only taking the cartoon as the only background but overall it sucks.

[jaydisc]

I think you missed the mark on a lot of these Gok


Kup: he did do a lot more than just complaining. This guy needs to revise G1's Target: 2006 and the Time Wars. (-_-)

The ridiculousness is that his namesake is after a male genital protector.


Arcee: I agree that the inclusion of Arcee was purely an act of political correctness. Her origin story sucked IMO. Having said that the character was never much better or worse than most other Autobots in G1 - she was basically a standard warrior. She did start sucking after Season 3 though, becoming the "doting maternal figure" over Daniel in The Rebirth and worse still in The Headmasters where she was little more than a receptionist for Fortress Maximus. (-_-)

The idea here is that even if we accept the ridiculousness of a FEMALE robot, giving her human features such as breasts and human clothing features such as heels and lipstick is quite ridiculous.


Death Zaras: He's talking about this character's incarnation in the G1 manga which is drastically different from his incarnation in the G1 animé. In the G1 manga the Victory Decepticons turned out to be a bunch of softies. Did it suck? Hell yes, but that doesn't mean the character sucks overall. He was a pretty good villain in the cartoon. And despite this person's claim of "maturity" and disdain for juvenile humour, half of his criticism over the Breast Force is based on "breasts = boobs." Cos that's funny when you're in Year 3. (-_-)

His critiques are that he hates human adults, but like kids, and he leads the Breast Force. I'm not sure he claims to have written a thesis in ALL FORMS OF G1 FICTION.


Heinlad: The fact that he's the only Transformer whose alt mode specifically has testicles and carrys a gourd of grog is pretty funny I must admit

Glad you two agree on that one.


Huffer: what the hell is he on about there? And cos we were all in uni when Huffer came out in 1984... (-_-) (not that I ever lived on campus or had dorm mates)

Like Kup, the humor is namesake, but also that the character encourages pessimism.


Ultra Magnus: "Damn" isn't a swear word and it's not as bad as what Spike said!

To America kids, "damn" is considered a swear word. If you are to expect that author to have such insight into Japanese fiction, you could be a bit aware of the audience this article is geared towards. But I think his inclusion of Magnus is a bit tried, and probably just an extension of the frustration that so many fans express over the passing of the torch throughout TFTM.


Fire Convoy: what the?!? What's this guy's beef? How is a fire engine any better or worse an alt mode for an Autobot leader than a Freightliner semi-truck??

Agreed! Very tried.


Shockwave: zomg... his appraisal of Shockwave just reeks of absolute ignorance. Hello?!? HELLO?? Faaaaaaaar out!

Again, this article isn't written for someone like you so well versed in all the varied facets of TF lore. Shockwave had a desktop job in cartoon. But yeah, this one is tried too.


Ratbat: ...redshirt?! Ratbat was became Decepticon leader!

I'm not familiar with that piece of fiction, or even Ratbat for that matter.


Frenzy: *lowers head and shakes it* Lame lame lame lame lame LAME!

Are you agreeing with the author? The author is definitely referring to Movie Frenzy, which definitely is/was lame lame lame lame LAME!

A couple of other parting comments. It's WHOLLY intended as fun. It's probably riding the wave of Transformer popularity. I don't think it's targeting (or even aware of) collectors or people with Gok's level of knowledge, but rather 30 somethings like the author that had TFs as kids and are now witnessing the resurgence.

Now, I'd love to see alternatives. And I'm not asking that in a "let's see you do better" kind of way, but I'm genuinely interested to see what some of you considerably more knowledgeable folk would come up with and reasons why.

[Paulbot]

I don't think it's targeting (or even aware of) collectors or people with Gok's level of knowledge, but rather 30 somethings like the author that had TFs as kids and are now witnessing the resurgence.

Which is how I read it. *nods*



Now, I'd love to see alternatives. And I'm not asking that in a "let's see you do better" kind of way, but I'm genuinely interested to see what some of you considerably more knowledgeable folk would come up with and reasons why.

Agree. I'm working on my list and would be interested in other's opinions too. Besides it's much more fun to make your own lists than just comment on others. I have two others to add to the two I mentioned in an earlier post and am thinking more about it. :D

[Pulse]

Maybe this is the jist of Geekdad's standup routine at Botcon '09... ;)

[Soundwarp]

Lol for me it goes

"BEAST WARS"

Wheelie!

:P

[GoktimusPrime]

The ridiculousness is that his namesake is after a male genital protector.
Not with that spelling. And a cup can also be a beverage holder. I agree that Kup as an abbreviation of "pick-up" is lame, but it's not something that's worthy of adding on an "all time" list and certainly not something that would make Kup an immediately poor character because of it.

Scattorshot and Scattorbrain (http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n47/missouri_emt_911/tumor.jpg) are worse names IMO. Scattershot makes sense, but Scattorshot? Cos we all know what scat means. (-_-)

Then there's Lazorbeak. Lazorbeak?! That's just plain illiterate!


The idea here is that even if we accept the ridiculousness of a FEMALE robot, giving her human features such as breasts and human clothing features such as heels and lipstick is quite ridiculous.
I agree that the idea of gender amongst Transformers is fundamentally a silly one - and as I said, I really don't like her G1 origin story either (the only story written by Furman that I really dislike). And yeah, making her all pastel pink and giving her curves etc. and the Princess Leia buns on her head are all just whacked. As I said, I fully acknowledge that Arcee was nothing more than an act of political correctness from Sunbow/Marvel. Having said that it doesn't necessarily mean that the Arcee character is inherently a poor one. Cosmetic features aside, Arcee isn't much better or worse than most other Autobot cars during the movie and Season 3. She did start sucking in The Rebirth/Headmasters though and her comic appearance was mediocre at best. :/

I think it's generally the whole concept of female TFs that is quite "wtf" worthy rather than just Arcee herself. After all, Ariel/Elita-One is equally guilty of being a big pink "curvacious" femme-bot as Arcee is. Then there's Blackarachnia whose show-model was based off an exotic dancer! (true story)


His critiques are that he hates human adults, but like kids, and he leads the Breast Force. I'm not sure he claims to have written a thesis in ALL FORMS OF G1 FICTION.
Yeah but to be fair he should state that he is referring to Death Zaras from the G1 manga only. Death Zaras was no where near that sappy in the cartoon. Also, he didn't actively "hate" humans nor did he actively "love" children. He adopted a human child as his son and had cybernetic implants put into his bionic boy... but it wasn't as if he showed particular affection toward other human children like Jan, Patty etc. He very specifically harboured affection exclusively toward Soron - so even then it's not an entirely accurate criticism. And again, his criticism toward the Breast Force seem centred around the fact that they've used the word "breast."


But I think his inclusion of Magnus is a bit tried, and probably just an extension of the frustration that so many fans express over the passing of the torch throughout TFTM.
"If you had let Ultra Magnus have the Matrix like I had intended then we wouldn't be in this mess now would we?" - The Rude Awakening of Optimus Prime (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq1_6D9QS9Y) :D


Are you agreeing with the author? The author is definitely referring to Movie Frenzy, which definitely is/was lame lame lame lame LAME!
I really like movie Frenzy!

I thought his criticisms toward Frenzy was lame - sorry, the bell rang so I couldn't express anything other than "lame lame lame" before hitting the post button and running off to class. :p

Frenzy is a little punk, just like he and Rumble were in G1. And he was a good spy/intelligence agent, which is what the cassetticons were often used for in G1. To me the author's criticisms against Frenzy were centred around the fact that there was a CD player/radio Decepticon that wasn't called Soundwave. :/ Like... get over it.

Ultra Magnus makes that list yet Wheelie doesn't?! Bugger off!

[jaydisc]

I think you're a bit too entrenched and you're overcooking it.

[GoktimusPrime]

http://ak.static.dailymotion.com/dyn/preview/160x120/3453980.jpg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3CRE9kFRvo) "I'm not yelling! I'm just passionate!" :D

[Burn]

I found it to be quite a enjoyable read, gave me a few chuckles.

But not as many as seeing the responses from the hoardes of fanboys who take their little lumps of plastic a little too seriously and need to defend them with their lives. :p

[SilverDragon]

I only really agree with Frenzy and Heinlad: the former because I really didn't like him in the movie, and the latter because he's a mythological creature in a toyline of otherwise realistic animals (aside from the dragons and Fuzors, of course...).

[kup]

I generally like these sorts of lists as they are imaginative and witty. Unfortunately that list just doesn't have that in my opinion. I agree with a few of his points but they lacked the intended humor and I find myself rolling eyes when reading it.

[dirge]

I think the author is simply picking easy targets for a wider audience. Some of his arguments are very much unfunny (Fire Convoy, Shockwave), others seem to be based on his own cultural bias (Heinlad, Kup).

I don't really find the list funny, nor do I find it annoying or whatever. I just find it irrelevant.