When collecting TFs becomes a selfish obsession...

[JuzMel]

Not finger-pointing about anyone here, I'm all good about Animated Jetfire & Jetstorm now, but just my thoughts about all these craze on rushing off to get all the new TFs.

I admit I was fairly upset a couple of times by the boys, but for some funny reason last night it finally hit a spark, I was cursing & complaining to my boyfriend. (Probably also because Animated is one of my favourite series and also because Jay and Stompy were on my usual contact list, yet I wasn't asked if I wanted it too, so that kinda hurt me.)

When I sight something new, I always get all excited and send a mass SMS to all the Melbournian guys whom I have numbers of (regardless of your location). 25th Anniversary prime at Myer, Universe Specials at Docklands etc. And if I get a request to buy something, I'll certainly do so unless I'm broke. But even if I AM broke, but because you are "a hundred ks" away from that store, I will surely get the item for you. Just a PLEASE MEL would melt my heart. ;) Otherwise I hide it somewhere between some toys and tell u the location so you can still get it.

Anyway sometimes I just think, do we all get so selfish that we just get the new TFs for ourselves or "our gang" and don't bother about whether other members or other fans out there are able to have it. I admit when I see something new and there's just one set, of course it's finders keepers.

But I don't do so all the time. Just a couple of examples:
- TRU Comic 2-Packs, I was the one who spotted the set hidden high up on top of the shelves. It was all mine to keep, but Icy and DD were both looking for it, so in the end I thought to myself "Never mind, I can wait, to be fair they can each have one" and so they each took 1 pack and me zilch. Probably because that set itself wasn't something on my "MUST HAVE IT NOW!" list, so I was okay to wait.
- Spotted and bought Acid Storm and let Icy have it first as well.

Also when a new TF item is out and quite a few people are looking for it, I won't even think of keeping doubles or triples or heaps. Isn't OTCA supposed to be a sharing community on TFs? How is this so if you find new stuff and buy extras for yourself while other people out there are still looking for it? I'm not gonna be hypocritical because I keep some doubles too. But I only buy 1 first and let others have the rest. When I find some more in future, then I'll get extras.

Scooping everything off the shelves seems a bit something like a "scalper behavior". Fair enough you don't sell them for profits but you only get for a selective group. Maybe just maybe once a while you sacrifice and let others have the item first and get one for yourself later? I'm sure not every item is on your "MUST HAVE IT NOW" list? Anyways just my 2 cents worth, as mentioned again NOT pint pointing at anyone. I just feel it should all be about sharing and giving in this TFs community because we all have the same interest.

On another note, I am also very upset that some people have indirectly "chased" Pulsey away.Yes he can post silly things sometime but it's those that bring a laugh or two to us. Many of you out there probably have at least a free TF given by him. I don't think he breaks any of the rules here, he just likes to post silly and funny stuff sometimes. Anyway I was grateful he spent about half an hour last night coaxing me to calm down about the JF & JS matter. Missing him on the board... :(

Anyway it's just my rambling on Pulse, so please don't comment anything about the matter here. Thanks. :)

[TheDirtyDigger]

Oh Mel...I feel really bad now. Sorry...:(:(:(

[SilverDragon]

I've stopped collecting TFs for the time being, since I don't want to inadvertently ruin a kid's Christmas by buying the last Grimlock or something. I made an exception for Universe Triceradon, since that figure isn't made anymore, so no-one (read: children) would want it for Christmas.

Also, so I can buy stuff for other people using the money not spent on TFs. Also also so I don't end up having an awful experience under the tree when I get something I already have.

[kup]

I am very selective when it comes to toy collecting so I don't automatically rush out and buy whatever is on the shelves as more than half of it doesn't appeal to me for many reasons.

However when I do see something that I know someone else is after I do call them or at least point them in the right direction.

When you contacted me about wanting the Comic 2 packs I was going to get them for you but Pulse beat me to it which was fine.

I agree that it is selfsih to hoard lots of the same toy for no reason or someone not returning you the favor when it comes to sightings and the like when you have made the effort for them in the past but don't let that get to you too much as they are only toys that will very likely end up on the shelves anyway but I understand what upsetted you.

Thanfully the community as a whole is actually very good at working together when it comes to exchanging TFs and sharing toy sightings. When it comes to NSW, we have been very good at getting stuff for each other although many NSW guys have been mostly interested in imports than the stuff you find on the shelves.

[iceburn]

Mel....nobody has forgotten you. it's sometimes the opportunity and cashflow that restricts someone that spotted something new on the shelf to obtain all stocks for every single member.

We have already posted our acquisitions and sightings so that will help other local members to find stuff easier too. We have the Melbourne Missionaries section that does list out what each member desire and although it's gone much bigger now than originally intended...each of us still tries to help. You also have to note that the Melbourne fan-based has also increased and we can't pick everything for everyone.

Just take it easy...enjoy the collecting of TFs as kup has said and if we miss out on some stuff...there are always other times and hope that the person will remember you. REMEMBER: Forgive and forget.... :D

[Kyle]

I thought jay already explained himself quite well and he'll make sure to specifically include Mel directly next time. :confused:

And I was wondering why Pulse seems to have disappeared in the last few days. He was always very active and vocal about things. :o Oh well I won't comment on things I have no idea of. Just hope all can kiss and make up. :p

[TheDirtyDigger]

Just hope all can kiss and make up. :p

Ok everyone make a line in front of me and pucker up.....but no tongue.:p

Seriously though guys...we are all here together enjoying the same obsession. We should ALL work together to make things easier on each other and life better in general through posting pleasantly and acquisitional assistance.
The general IQ in this place is relatively high but that needs to be translated across into social and emotional intelligence as well so we don't have negativity and condescension bringing any of us down.

I know I have personally been no angel in the past but I am working hard to redeem this as I've had the revelation that happiness is infective and life is just too short to be narky, pissy or negative with each other as most of us interact a lot on these boards (except that antisocial bastard Demonac. (jk))

Be good to each other please.

[jaydisc]

Ahhhh, I finally worked out what you meant by S.E.L.F.I.S.H:

Started Melbourne Missionaries
Eagerly drives thousands of KM's around Melbourne in search of toys for all
Loves purchasing for others (even out of state)
Fairly and transparently manages large group orders
Is constantly posting sightings
Seeks to improve the effectiveness of sightings (VIC Sightings)
Hosts meets at his own home

Aww, thanks Mel :)

[jacksplatt11]

Three cheers for Jay, the most selfish Ozformer going around

[sifun]

Jay is a very great member, he has helped me get alot of things much like everyone.
Sometimes mistakes happens, can't blame them for forgetting sometimes.

[jaydisc]

In all seriousness though, let me explain my simple view on this:

I have no expectations of any of you other than I expect you to have no expectations of me. If the stars are aligned and we can help each other, that's awesome. If they're not, that needs to be awesome too. As soon as this becomes something of increased expectation or score keeping or anything else remotely near that, count me out.

[GoktimusPrime]

I agree. Other than scalping behaviour (which thoroughly deserves a sharp kick to the janglies), people are under no obligation to help others with their collecting. We're adults now - we can find toys for ourselves. Of course it's a really nice thing to do for your fellow collector and I've often benefitted from having other people spot and pick up stuff for me. But I'm not going to get upset at someone if they find something I want but don't inform me about it or get it for me. It's always good to treat others as you would like to be treated. :) :)

[Hereticpoo]

I agree Mel.

Some attitudes on this board need re-adjusting. Sometimes I read posts and think 'wow that was a little harsh' but what can we do about it? I just take a breath and remember that we collect toys, and ignore the posts/members that irritate me.

Because we are a community we all have the right to have an opinion. Sometimes a message on a computer screen doesn't convey tone or can be read differently, sometimes coming across as aggressive. So maybe we should be concise when we post, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

Selfishness. Unfortunatly its a fact of life, and people who are selfish will never change. I'm just happy that there are members like you and Kyle here who do contribute to the community despite the occasional snide comment or irreverant attitude. BTW Thank you Kyle, mate you are a saint. He sent me a TF before I paid for it. He didn't have to, hell its dam risky but I'm glad he trusted me enough to pay him when I could. Those little things make me believe in the community and make me want to contibute. MP-5 anyone? :)

Chin up trooper, at the end of the day everybody has the power of choice. All it takes to change a situation is a consious choice. You can choose to be selective about who you help, and you can choose to be the bigger person.

:)

[Paulbot]

Part of the fun for some of us is the "hunt" part of finding the toy. When we see that someone (or in this case two people) have bought up a large number of the toys it decreases the chance of us finding them on the hunt.

I saw that tower of two-packs and had a similar reaction, although one more of jealousy, jealous of the people who found it and those who'd had one bought for them.

The latter is not all that rational since I prefer to find myself than to have others buy them, but it was my reaction. (And I'd been on a hunt for something else last night that I wasn't able to get and was feeling disappointed about that).

The Melb community is however generally really good at finding toys for each other though and Melb Missionaries has worked pretty well. I think some requests can be a bit selfish though or perhaps better to say a bit unreasonable. Like Mel said not every thing can be on the "MUST HAVE IT NOW!" list.

[i_amtrunks]

I saw that tower of two-packs and had a similar reaction, although one more of jealousy, jealous of the people who found it and those who'd had one bought for them.

I was more jealous that figures seem to appear in Mexico/Bleak City before anywhere else. At least when it seemed that Rundle Mall got things first, it was a fair pay-off for having to live in Adelaide! :p

Joking Joking, come on I live in a city that has too many cars, too many people, and fewer and fewer trains...

[griffin]

I'm actually quite surprised that the one 'state' group that has a scouting list of figures each wants, to help each other out, is the one that has the most problems. Probably you guys get it so good having other fans in your area helping you out so often, that you take it for granted, or expect it when every new item comes out. Or in this case, feel left out when notification isn't reciprocated.
I've posted in the Melbourne Missionaries topic to encourage people to post more of their unreleased stuff 'wants', in case we get something earlier than expected in future.

And as I mentioned in that topic, one of our community's best assets is the way a lot of us do go to the trouble of getting new or limited stuff for other members, if we can, before the toy scalpers or 'unappreciative' kids/parents get them. I don't want to see this cooperative concept be shelved or go underground, just because of one or two bad circumstances.
It might look like selfishness or monopolising like a scalper, to grab several at once, or clean out *a* store - but keep it in perspective - this is usually at one or two stores out of dozens in the one region/city, for the dozen odd members here in that region. I haven't seen any sign of anyone here in the past going to every store possible to clean out each and have a monopoly of a certain figure. And even if that inadvertantly happens because it is a store exclusive to a store chain that has limited exposure to your area, most times someone else here will help out a call for assistance. Something that wouldn't happen if one or two stores weren't 'cleaned out' before regular customers or toy scalpers get to them. And if we didn't have this cooperative community, more people would miss out than those who have been benefiting from it. Just look at the Melbourne Missionaries topic (well, over a period of time, as it gets updated all the time), and this is one unfortunate instance over what would be dozens or hundreds of purchases done on behalf of others.

I'm not trying to dismiss Mel's concerns, because I feel bad for her, and can relate from when people I help out don't return the goodwill when I need help with something. I just prioritise people in future who have helped me out in the past. If I start to obsess over being used and ignored, and take it out on everyone, it just hurts those who have been good to me.
Just try not to let this one negative linger in your thoughts too long Mel, as it will affect everything in your life, as it already has. And it will taint your whole perspective on TFs, and the hobby that has been giving you so much joy over the years (as I read in most of your postings, including your acquisitions). You would be one bright spark that would be sorely lost if you dwelled on the negativity, or worse, gave up on collecting because it was no longer fun to do.

[griffin]

I have no expectations of any of you other than I expect you to have no expectations of me. If the stars are aligned and we can help each other, that's awesome. If they're not, that needs to be awesome too. As soon as this becomes something of increased expectation or score keeping or anything else remotely near that, count me out.

That's something we also need to keep in mind.

As enthusiastic as some members are with chasing up others when they find something new or limited, others won't be, and it's an unfortunate trade-off. Some will benefit more than others, because some collect more, and some are more energetic with their hunt for new stuff.
The objective of a cooperative community is that each member helps out the greater body, to ultimately over time, benefit all those in it. Not necessarily equally, but as fairly as possible, to the extent each wants out of the arrangement.
If we start keeping track of who helps out who, and working out if everyone is getting an equal share, despite differing demands/wants, resentment will overshadow the desire to help out others.
We just hope that over time, some aren't overlooked too often, intentionally or unintentionally.

[Omega Supreme]

I just prioritise people in future who have helped me out in the past. If I start to obsess over being used and ignored, and take it out on everyone, it just hurts those who have been good to me.



Well said, I try to always look after people who have done the right thing by me, be it with TF's or anything else.

[JuzMel]

I have no expectations of any of you other than I expect you to have no expectations of me. If the stars are aligned and we can help each other, that's awesome. If they're not, that needs to be awesome too. As soon as this becomes something of increased expectation or score keeping or anything else remotely near that, count me out.

I's not so much the point of expecting the person to buy the item for you, it's just a courtesy sms telling you "Hey I spotted this here". And if I asked you to help me get one and you can't it's all good. There's no point in buying back, showing the loot then post in sightings where it's opened to the large public eye. Even if we had the chance to drive up there, other people might already have gone and cleared the shelf.

Expectation or not, you know yourself that when you spot something, you surely get for an extra for Member 1 and Member 2 automatically (Are you expected to do that?)

P.S: But I just MSN you on Monday about the Activators at Big W too (So how does that justify about u forgetting me? ;) ) But that's besides the point cause I'm not gonna argue about last night's matter anymore.

I do appreciate the things that you have done like the bulk orders and getting Animated Soundwave for me. But it seems that whenever a new TF is out, it's just your gang clearing the loot first. It just brings down to my point, not everything is on your "MUST HAVE NOW" list right? Can't we just give and take and sometimes let others have a figure they really want first? And it makes it worse when some poor fan out there is looking so hard to find a figure while some fortunate soul actually has doubles or triples or heaps of them.

Anyway thanks for all sharing your thoughts on this topic: both negative or positive. I just wanted to make sure my feelings are heard so that I just don't leave the board for the simple small issue. I'm really all cool now. :) And stop collecting TFs griffin? NOOOOOO way.... :D

[Robzy]

The general IQ in this place is relatively high Hey! I resent that!!!


Be good to each other please.http://frontier.cincinnati.com/blogs/gov/uploaded_images/springer-729674.jpg


We're adults now - we can find toys for ourselves. :D ROFL :D Hee hee - I agree with what you're saying... this is just one of the funniest sentences I've read!


At least when it seemed that Rundle Mall got things first, it was a fair pay-off for having to live in Adelaide! Grrrrr!!! :mad:

[1orion2many]

"OOOOOoooooo that's favourtism". "What? He spat in my face". "What I wouldn't give to be spat at in the face". "I lie awake at night dreaming of it sometimes". Sorry I couldn't remember the exact Monty Python quote but this is all that comes to mind at the moment reading this thread. I really don't know what else to say to all of this, no one has any obligation to anyone, these are just favours given to each other on this board. If I was forgotten by someone hunting TF's I'd just shrug it off and continue hunting myself as I enjoy wandering around the shops regardless of finding something I'm after. Don't get me wrong as I would be a little disappointed missing out at the time but you get over it.:D

[GoktimusPrime]

It's everyone's own responsibility to find and buy our own toys. Nobody is obliged to help us or do it for us. It is a privilege to have other people help you in acquiring Transformers but it is not your right (and thus they are under no obligation to help you).

I'm always grateful when others help me in my hunt for TFs, but I wouldn't be too upset about it if they didn't get it for me. At the end of the day, the ownus is on me, not others.

[Kyle]

I'm not trying to dismiss Mel's concerns, because I feel bad for her, and can relate from when people I help out don't return the goodwill when I need help with something. I just prioritise people in future who have helped me out in the past. If I start to obsess over being used and ignored, and take it out on everyone, it just hurts those who have been good to me.

Bossbot, do you need help with anything lately? :p I still remember the time you helped me get Rodimus which I still have not returned the favour. And oh, not to mention something you set up called the OTCA. ;)


That's something we also need to keep in mind.

As enthusiastic as some members are with chasing up others when they find something new or limited, others won't be, and it's an unfortunate trade-off. Some will benefit more than others, because some collect more, and some are more energetic with their hunt for new stuff.
The objective of a cooperative community is that each member helps out the greater body, to ultimately over time, benefit all those in it. Not necessarily equally, but as fairly as possible, to the extent each wants out of the arrangement.
If we start keeping track of who helps out who, and working out if everyone is getting an equal share, despite differing demands/wants, resentment will overshadow the desire to help out others.
We just hope that over time, some aren't overlooked too often, intentionally or unintentionally.

I'd like to point out that, to those who care about these things, sometimes the benefits might not come back directly from the person you help, right away. For example, If A helps B, B might not be able to help A. But B might help C, who might end up helping A. So I agree with Griffin's perspective. So let's all forget about keeping scores. Just help each other out whenever we can and enjoy our hobby. Be forgiving if someone accidentally forgets about you. Just be happy! :)

And I do not consider Jay, Mel, any name mentioned on this thread, or anyone posting on this thread to be selfish. All have made various contributions to the community in the past, big or small, which we all appreciate. None of these should be measured or compared. :)

[Lint]

Well either way, I look forward to the day when our retailers will purchase enough stock to satisfy both collectors and non-collectors.

Or will collector appetite just scale to match increased stocking levels? :p

Aye the sales efficiency I could achieve if I was a strategic sourcing manager in retail :D

[Tallestblue]

Ahhh, the subject of Scalping.
To me a Scalper is someone who is not a fan and only sees the potential value and not the joy it can bring to someone who's a fan or a small child.
And I wish those people a slow painful pinching death at the hands of small children denied neat toys. I also hope those children have chocolatey fingers.

And Mel? She deserves a hug, a round of applause and one of those big boxes of Cadbury Roses like on the ads from the 80s for buying other people Transformers before she gets them for herself.

I don't want to be inflammatory but, Gods, sometimes us TF fans can sound like Jerks. I'm talking about the constant bitching about crappy paint jobs, How the movie's not like G1, how Animated's not like G1 how Marvel and Star Wars Tf suck bitch bitch bitch etc.

Seriously. A lot of hard work goes into creating some of these toys and everyone should be damn greateful that a 25 year old toyline is still going.

So, to conclude. Transformers Rock. Mel is Awesome, Shut your collective Yaps.

good day.

[Kyle]

Tallestblue:

This thread actually has nothing to do with scalping. The extra toys were all purchased for fellow board members, and unfortunately Mel missed out this time.

[Golden Phoenix]

I think we should all just take a step back.
We have to stop taking this kind of thing so personally and let things slide. I can understand why your upset Mel, it is a natural feeling, but you have to remember that Jay we probably in a rush and excited. You don't always think straight or about everything. And he usually doesn't message people about it. He only got me one because I asked him to. I also know that he might be cash strapped, hell I am pretty much all the time, cept maybe on Wednesdays.

To be honest though, I think we really should stop taking a lot of things here personally. I see arguments pop up here and there because some people do take things a bit to serious sometimes. And due to the arguments I usually avoid the topics with them. I think we need to chill out and focus on the positive.
Yes Jay didn't get you one, but you should be excited that they are out in Australia, especially since it is before the Amaricans (take that yankees!),
and Yes sometimes jokes or random posts do clutter the topic, but they only get in the way if you let them. If you see a short post and it starts off not serious or is mostly an image, skip it. Or read it and Laugh. And if it is directed at you, laugh and fire one back. Just like, chill out

[Stompy]

I will put my two cents in since I kinda got the ball rolling in the first place.

There was no favoritism in who I contacted. I did not plan on contacting just my own select "gang". I have no gang in these boards and consider the entire forum as my "gang". The only reason I contacted the select people I contacted was because the contacts were local to the retail outlet I spotted the figure.

I'm sorry Mel if I offended you by not including you in the text but with that sort of thinking then I should have contacted every single member of this board too. It was not my intention to hide the findings at all. The next opportunity I had was when I got home which I promptly posted the minute I got to my PC as a way to let the other members know of the finding. On top of that, seeing that the item in question is a catalogue item I assumed it will be well stocked in all TK/TW which I know there's a lot of locations for everyone to go and find one.

As many members have said previously, nobody is under any obligation. I never take anyone or any favours for granted and try to return them whenever I can. I do not have the resources to let people know on the spot or buy many figures for others (I only ever buy one of any figure). I can assure you that it is very difficult for me to go on hunts but it just makes the hunt and finding these plastic treasures that extra bit more wonderful. Despite odds I can usually find ANY retail figure I want.

Again, please do not take it personally Mel. This is a wonderful community for a wonderful hobby. It was in my intention to make sure everyone in these boards get informed of any sightings.

[JuzMel]

Hey TallestBlue, to clarify things, I'm not inciting about anyone here being a scalper, just saying they have "scalper-like" behaviour. But I still won't mind the nice box of chocolates though. :D


He only got me one because I asked him to. And how did you know about it? Telepathy? He must have obviously contacted you. ;) Anyway as mentioned I'm not dwelling on the issue of last night.

It was more of the issue last night hitting a spark in me that started this topic because the 2 musketeers are pretty oblivious to the fact that they are pissing people off and people are labelling them "Selfish"; from various sources. The tower of TRU 2-Packs, the wave 3/4 of Animated Deluxes, the cheap Combiners already started the green eyed monsters in us. Not everyone is able to go out anytime of the day to hunt for TFs.

As Paulbot said

Part of the fun for some of us is the "hunt" part of finding the toy. When we see that someone (or in this case two people) have bought up a large number of the toys it decreases the chance of us finding them on the hunt.

I saw that tower of two-packs and had a similar reaction, although one more of jealousy, jealous of the people who found it and those who'd had one bought for them.

Fair enough you can have your own selective group of people you want to contact or buy for then later post it in sightings here. But maybe in future try not to flaunt quantities of the loot then? Just take photo of one? What people don't know won't hurt them. Trust me, I'm not the only green-eyed one.

Honestly, flaunting your loot and then advertising who they are for and/or having doubles or triples of the new TF item when all the other poor TF fans out there have trouble even finding one is not something to be proud of.

Anyway Mods if you think this thread is getting to far, please close it. It was mainly just to make a point (about sharing and giving) and not let things get too far. As said many times, all done and over and no more hard feelings or whatsoever. ;)

[canofwhoopass_87]

On a similar note, I've also noticed a lot of greed and backstabbing in the sale yard by members trying to push past one another to get to specific items. This has led to multiple disputes but at the end of the day, I just sit back and look at these people and just feel so sorry for you (they won't be named). In my short time here I've seen so much selfishness and stupidity that it pushes me to be negative towards other members as well, but because I'm not a more prominent senior member I get brushed aside. Even so, whether I'm right or wrong, I'd like to apologise for any wrongdoings during my stay.

I can understand how you feel mel, I think we should all (especially the fanatical collectors who put their entire life savings into these figs) think deep and remember that there are other people out there, not just collectors but also

- Young children (Who form the bulwark of the animated fandom and the future collectors)
- Other numerous small time collectors who aren't board members (just because they're not apart of the board we shouldn't automatically be branding them as criminals)
- Our families and friends. I know a handful of people on here (even myself in the past) would rather spend money on buying that new figure rather than throwing that extra $20 for someone else's gift

As cool as these figures are, it would be great to see many of you make a bit of a shift (even if it's a very small one) and just be a little bit more generous and selfless...especially during the season of giving.

Merry Christmas to all!

[Golden Phoenix]

And how did you know about it? Telepathy? He must have obviously contacted you.
No, actually it was the first thing I posted in the news topic.


Here? Where? How Much? How Many? Can you grab me one?
GAH
So many questions

[roller]

i still don't understand what this thread is about

please clarify

in twenty one days



no, as soon as possible in simple plain language that i can understand

[jaydisc]

Honestly, flaunting your loot and then advertising who they are for and/or having doubles or triples of the new TF item when all the other poor TF fans out there have trouble even finding one is not something to be proud of.


Anyway SW for Blackie who's collecting 2moro, other one is Krayt's TC which he collected last night and the other 2 TCs for Hanprimus and Sifun already went on their journey. :)
http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r70/milassilem/Transformers/Tfn-69.jpg

I'm confused. :confused:

[autobreadticon]

Mel i think its more to do with the issue of feeling left out.. . i am pretty sure people on this board especially Jay will go out of their way to help you and not give that feeling of exclusion. I know that Jay will gladly consider getting the 5 spare animated packs if he knew you wanted them.

[STL]

This is severely disappointing.

I will not even pretend to even say I know you very well even though we've helped each other in the past but I hope to simply put matters into perspective. I unfortunately cannot begin to empathise with your position but I do understand where you are coming from. And so I proffer this in response to the solecism that beleaguers you. There seem to be two issues here that need to be demarcated. At this present juncture, it would appear they are hopelessly tangled together and contributing to your disgruntled mindset, Mel. I hope that by delineating them, it will ease your state of mind.

1.) Not being contacted in relation to the Jetstorm/Jetfire.
2.) Resentment about what you perceive as a “gang” monopolizing Victorian acquisitions.

In relation to your first issue, many of us here have never been in the habit of mass SMSs. I deeply appreciate your effort on the occasion you told us about the 25th Anniversary Prime and Bruticus but rarely does a tocsin ring in our minds each time a new sighting is made that indicates to us the necessity of contacting any and all members. More often than not, there is a message to one or two people who we see regularly or share the same hunting grounds but that is followed up by a prompt report on the boards. There is no hiding or deliberate exclusion of anybody. It is a matter of efficacy and practicality that dictates the use of this board as the most useful and primary tool with which to inform other board members of where to look.

In this particular instance, as has been previously laboured, Stompy (thanks again mate) contacted the two who he knew would be in the area and most easily be able to get down there unencumbered the location. He had no intention of concealing it for the benefit of a specific group or himself. Furthermore, Jaydisc before he left in his excitement posted on the forum immediately the find. At no point was there an intention to exclude anyone. It was there for all if they were online. And therein lies the truth of the matter. Sometimes it pays to be online at the right time. I am barely in the course of a day online all day other than the morning and late night. I too would have been an excluded member if not for the text from Stompy. Of that I am grateful but I, as well as others, can expect no more of Stompy than what he did. No obligation should ever be superimposed on any member as to how he or she chooses to inform others. That is obsessive and unjustly self-centred.

We as a community possess the capacity for kindness but it is never the role of this community to impose on members a code or methodology for sharing information. That strips this community of its very character, its capacity to help. We choose to help in our own ways and it is a wonderful thing that we do. But it would drain the life and character of this community if each and everyone member was expected to subscribe to a sense of obligation to contact all others. If we start to impose a sense of obligation, we start to impose guilt on members. We start to make it a burden.

And this turns me to the second issue that ails you: a resentment and feeling that your opportunities are being limited by a “gang” inhibiting your ability to locate the Transformers that you want. In my mind, there are three limbs to this.

a.) Deprivation of the opportunity to buy the newly released Transformer
First, I wish to put this into perspective. Of all of the recent toys that have been released, has there been one that anyone has ended up missing out on? Certainly not everyone rides the first wave of a new release but eventually we all have the opportunity to acquire those toys. Never yet has there been a deprivation of anyone’s rights to acquire a toy. Just as Iceburn unearthed the Special Editions first, we all found them soon enough. Just as Paulbot was first to discover the Classics 2.0 Two-packs, we all found them in due course. Patience is a virtue as everything becomes available in due course in quantities to satisfy everyone.

b.) Exclusion from the Opportunity/Acquisition
Secondly, it is that first find that excites one, that makes feel one left out if it is not he or she is part of it. But that in itself is unfair. Why is that so? If you put things into perspective, not everyone has the financial ability to buy something for everyone else. Between Jaydisc and myself yesterday for instance, we picked up six sets of the TFA Jetstorm/Jetfire two-pack. That amounts to $180. In an ideal world, we’d love to grab one for everyone. But the reality is, we can’t. We have families, we have partners, we have children, we have other financial obligations. So try as we might, And that brings me to the aforementioned issue of guilt.

If we start placing people in a situation where they feel guilt for not being able to accommodate someone, this places an unfair burden on a member. The moment we start to have members feel guilty about being unable to help someone else there begins to be a very real danger lassitude will set in. And that is not something we can have. Members do there very best and at the end of the day, you cannot expect them to do anymore than that. As much as they want to, they can’t help everyone. And I hope that no one will ever expect that. Guilt is destructive. Especially we it is based on expectations that impose unfair burdens on others.

Onto broader issues…

The concept of this community is built on the kindness that we are willing to extend to others. But to what extent does the assistance in acquisition of toys constitute the desideratum for a member being here? I would like to think that this place is more than that. It is a place where likeminded people come together to share their common appreciation of a hobby that is fun. It is so much more than simply a place where people can seek and purchase toys for others. It is a place with a voice, a voice made up of all of its members. Some love it for fiction, some for nostalgia, some for animation, some for the engineering - but whatever that purpose we are here together not because this is a means to extending our collections; but because we share a common interest.

Finally, there seems to be an issue of kindness and reciprocation. Kindness and reciprocation are not inextricably interwoven. Reciprocation, as lovely as it is, is not something one should ever expect. That only brings with it disappointment and expectations that lead one to disappointment. When one acts in kindness, it should not be for the purpose of expecting reciprocation. One’s capacity for kindness should be dictated by what he or she feels they should do; not by the expectation that their act of kindness will be reciprocated. Otherwise, what is kindness other than a bargaining chip?

Earlier this week, one of my elderly neighbour’s (a widow) who I regularly help with the shopping and mowing her lawn and the occasional house chores, dropped by at 9:00 in the morning. At first I’d thought it was the postman with a delivery. Bleary eyed, I was disappointed to find my neighbour there and not a parcel. BUT what she had for my family was a large bag of Baker’s Delight cakes and rolls. When I help her, it is never my expectation that it be reciprocated. However, if it does come, it is deeply appreciated. BUT never should a person be saddened if their act of kindness is not reciprocated. That strips away the purpose of kindness, it makes it conditional, it makes it selfish.

And that is not right.

When we help, when we exercise the capacity for human kindness it is not a baton with which we wield to procure acts of kindness. It loses sight of what kindness is. Kindness is more than just a phone call, more than just a text, more than just buying a fellow collector a newly released Transformer. Kindness is about our capacity to give unconditionally, to help make this community, this world a better place. I have done many years of community service but never do I hold it over someone else’s head. Not always has my kindness been reciprocated. Sometimes I never meet people I help again. Such as people I help take groceries out to the car or buy a meal for. But that doesn’t matter because what truly mattered was that in a window, in a small window in that person’s life, was I able to do something kind. Kindness is about what you can give, not what you can give in return. It should not have strings of guilt and obligation attached to it.

Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that this is a community that hinges on people’s good faith, people’s capacity for kindness. Sometimes the chips fall our way, sometimes they do not. We have all been on the receiving end of kindness but it is never intended to be personal when a person misses out.

Get over it.

This isn’t about you. This isn’t about anyone. And it never was. And nor should it be. The wonder of this community lies in its ability to bring people together, to generate an atmosphere where would-be strangers come together because a common interest, a place to share in their love of Transformers – whatever form that may assume.

To limit it to the undivided assistance of others to the acquisition of toys, would constitute a sad departure from the glue that holds this place together, that makes this place a fun place to be, that makes this place a worthwhile place to be. There is and should be more that brings us together as a community and the day we lose sight of that, we lose sight of what really matters.

[Kyle]

STL mate. Just read your whole post but when I reached the bottom and saw your signature I couldn't help smiling. :D (Sorry... :p)

I have a MISB Acid Storm that I'm no longer keeping. Next time I send another parcel to Melbourne I'll throw it in for you. :)

[STL]

STL mate. Just read your whole post but when I reached the bottom and saw your signature I couldn't help smiling. :D (Sorry... :p)


:o :o :o :D



I have a MISB Acid Storm that I'm no longer keeping. Next time I send another parcel to Melbourne I'll throw it in for you. :)

Thank you! :)

[JuzMel]

I'm confused. :confused:

About the MP Thundercracker and Skywarp. Are you just trying to find a fault with me? It's pretty obvious

1) I didn't spot them in local retail
2) SO they are obviously not bought from normal retails stores
3) I don't have doubles or triples of them
4) My photo doesn't show towers of the SAME ITEM

So what is your point?

Look Jay and STL, fair enough you want to defend yourselves. No one says what you all have done is wrong. But it brings down to the fact about what Paulbot says again, "When we see that someone (or in this case two people) have bought up a large number of the toys it decreases the chance of us finding them on the hunt."

As much as people who appreciates what Jay has done, they are ALSO those who are NOT HAPPY with the "clearing of shelves" and "tower of same item" photos.



And this turns me to the second issue that ails you: a resentment and feeling that your opportunities are being limited by a “gang” inhibiting your ability to locate the Transformers that you want. In my mind, there are three limbs to this.

Trust me, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE. But I was the only one who expressed it.



Patience is a virtue as everything becomes available in due course in quantities to satisfy everyone.
Oh yeah right, then how come you had 2 sets of the TRU Comic 2-Packs and you wouldn't let Icy have 1 set first the other time?

Oh just a gentle note, what happened to your signature with:
Need 18 Acid Storms cheap! Pls help!

Also I didn't like people using verses like "Mel, you should ..., Mel I think it this"... etc. It's like you're trying to pint point me down and bully me saying it's my fault or something. I have never in my previous post directly use anyone's names.

In the first place, I have explained VERY CLEARLY, I was all over about the issue on Animated Jetfire and Jetstorm. And I just wanted to voice out a little hurt and upset I felt at that point of time. Not make it into a huge argument or something. It's not as though I go round calling Jay names and being all angry with him and putting him down on the forum or something.

Whatever it is, my point has been made and thanks to the people who understand and feel the same way. I'm gonna ask mods to close this thread.

[roller]

man , i wish i could write coherent writing in that length. I lost that ability like 4 yrs ago:(

Just remember kids, GREED IS GOOD


and in the words of Beast wArs Megatron "You were weakened before you started, weakened by...compassion"

mohhaahahahahaha

[iceburn]

Dark Side Dark Side.......turn to the Dark Side

[STL]

Look Jay and STL, fair enough you want to defend yourselves. No one says what you all have done is wrong. But it brings down to the fact about what Paulbot says again, "When we see that someone (or in this case two people) have bought up a large number of the toys it decreases the chance of us finding them on the hunt."

As much as people who appreciates what Jay has done, they are ALSO those who are NOT HAPPY with the "clearing of shelves" and "tower of same item" photos.

Trust me, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE. But I was the only one who expressed it.

Oh yeah right, then how come you had 2 sets of the TRU Comic 2-Packs and you wouldn't let Icy have 1 set first the other time?


I'm not going to reply to each of these, Mel. You need to read my post and focus on the larger issues, some of the points that I've tried to raise. It becomes too easy to absorb oneself in the details, in one's own disappointment and not see the larger issues. Issues of kindness and reciprocation. Issues of what this community actually is. Issues of imposing expectations and then guilt on others. We are all here for more than just the acquisition of toys and this has saddeningly been lost sight of.



Oh just a gentle note, what happened to your signature with:
Need 18 Acid Storms cheap! Pls help!


I think it unnecessary that I delve into it but since you feel it should be explained. In Christmas' gone by I've spent more on kids and families who live in shelters or are disadvantaged. In years gone by I have bought microwaves, toys and air conditioning units for people. This year, Christmas is rapidly approaching and I feel deeply disappointed in myself for spending less than I normally do and aim to change that. That is why I am putting the hunt for Acid Storm on hiatus. It says as much in my signature. I have mentioned this before today. Christmas is a time to help those truly unfortunate. And out in society, there are those that have no home. To continue my expensive hunt for Acid Storms would mean I can't focus on doing my bit. I try to do a bit every day, when I can, when I get the opportunity to help another person. And its one of the things that I do w/out expectation of reciprocation. I've seen a lot in my life and while I've been financially fortunate - not for a moment do I ever forget those less fortunate. Especially in times such as these. You'll be surprised by how many people will just be satisfied to have a smoked leg of ham on Christmas eve. My little sister's birthday is on Christmas eve and there was one year I got back late b/c I was out at a shelter but I was never fussed b/c sometimes our own happiness doesn't come first - especially when there are other people out there who really need us.





Also I didn't like people using verses like "Mel, you should ..., Mel I think it this"... etc. It's like you're trying to pint point me down and bully me saying it's my fault or something. I have never in my previous post directly use anyone's names.


I'm sorry that you feel that way but since it was you who initiated this thread, I felt it important to try and address your concerns. I hope that you read my post again, and can appreciate what kindness truly is.


In the first place, I have explained VERY CLEARLY, I was all over about the issue on Animated Jetfire and Jetstorm.


Are you really? The tone of this post remains resentful and I only hope that you understand the points I have made. I think they are pertinent and that subsuming guilt and obligation into this board is dangerous.



Whatever it is, my point has been made and thanks to the people who understand and feel the same way. I'm gonna ask mods to close this thread.

I don't particularly agree with that. Now that its out in the open and you feel you've said everything you've had to say, the thread should be closed just because you've had enough? Others are trying to help you see another point of view, to open your mind to perspective, to help you not feel so upset in the first place by. This forum isn't just a place where once you've had enough to say on a topic, to say it should be closed. I really do hope that you can appreciate the core of points that I've tried to make. I don't want to restate them again so I'll just it below.



When we help, when we exercise the capacity for human kindness it is not a baton with which we wield to procure acts of kindness. It loses sight of what kindness is. Kindness is more than just a phone call, more than just a text, more than just buying a fellow collector a newly released Transformer. Kindness is about our capacity to give unconditionally, to help make this community, this world a better place. I have done many years of community service but never do I hold it over someone else’s head. Not always has my kindness been reciprocated. Sometimes I never meet people I help again. Such as people I help take groceries out to the car or buy a meal for. But that doesn’t matter because what truly mattered was that in a window, in a small window in that person’s life, was I able to do something kind. Kindness is about what you can give, not what you can give in return. It should not have strings of guilt and obligation attached to it.

Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that this is a community that hinges on people’s good faith, people’s capacity for kindness. Sometimes the chips fall our way, sometimes they do not. We have all been on the receiving end of kindness but it is never intended to be personal when a person misses out.

Get over it.

This isn’t about you. This isn’t about anyone. And it never was. And nor should it be. The wonder of this community lies in its ability to bring people together, to generate an atmosphere where would-be strangers come together because a common interest, a place to share in their love of Transformers – whatever form that may assume.

To limit it to the undivided assistance of others to the acquisition of toys, would constitute a sad departure from the glue that holds this place together, that makes this place a fun place to be, that makes this place a worthwhile place to be. There is and should be more that brings us together as a community and the day we lose sight of that, we lose sight of what really matters.

[Paulbot]

This thread is closed. I have let it stay open only so Mel could respond to STL's post and STL now has responded again. I don't feel there's any need for this to continue to be open.

Mel has already stated quite clearly she wants to move on.

Should any of the other parties involved wish to post a follow up please contact me.