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Pulse
6th March 2008, 01:49 PM
If anyone's still living in the past (before Facebook that is) & has a Myspace account, I've had one too for a couple of years now. I've been pretty slack with it but now I've got a sudden re-surge of enthusiasm to keep it up to date http://www.myspace.com/quaker_hill

Update time: I just don't understand that girl at all. I don't know what it is but she either must believe that I like her in that way, or she likes me in that way. I admit, there was a time when I was attracted to her both on the inside & the outside but that's become totally blurred along the lines of what someone says & does. It's as though she believes that those things on my page are secretly about her (of which they definitely are NOT). Even though were not "Myspace" friends anymore, I keep getting updates that she's always checking out my profile for anything new. Why the hell would she keep doing that?
Incase you're wondering, we didn't do any Cyber Stuff but this definitely feels like the ugly aftermath of it. Honestly, How is this between me & her supposed to work out? She lives in New York for christsakes! Hell, even if we did get together in the real world, it would be a pretty expensive bit of fun.

I don't know what it is, but there's just something about her. Some sort of spark. There's something there I just can't put my finger on. There's a connection in a really twisted sort of way :) She even shares the same sort of disturbed sense of humour as I do. The Atheist/Churchy thing - hilarious!

The mind games just keep continuing... When will it ever stop!? How does she know all these strange links that she keeps sending my way?

It feels as though she's an ex who can't make her mind up whether she wants to be friends or enemies. Are all girls like this? Or is it just the ones I know? Man, it's as though I'm still in uni & playing the same type of mind games those girls used to play back then.

I miss you girl. I'd luv to talk to you again. But... I'm not gonna make the first contact. I've done that so many times over the years &... I just can't bring myself to do it.

I know you miss me too. A little birdie told me. :) Why else would you keep my comment on your profile & pop by mine every once in a while. I know you think about me - I can sense it.

But I'm not gonna initiate any contact between us. No. I'm not gonna play that game again. & I know you're thinking about contacting me too. A 6th sense tells me the thought is crossing your mind. So I'll leave it up to you.

It feels like we're still in Primary School or Highschool. :p Is that how our minds still work? It's as though we haven't grown up at all.

Girl, just letting you know that the last blog I've put up is about you. It's not as if the hints in it don't give it away :) but something tells me you're gonna find your way to it anyway. You always do. Hell, who else would be reading my blog or finding any real interest in it?

I miss you S. Most of the time I'm doing something/thinking about plasticcrack, I seem to wonder "What's S doing?" & besides physically checking your photobucket account, I feel as though I can sense you. I can feel you (but not in that way :) But I am not going to make the first move again. No, I am not going to do it. You know how I feel so I'm leaving it up to you. The Ball's in your court.

I just know that with this hoopla over the past 24 hours that you've definitely clicked on the link for this place; which means that you've not only had a squiz at the pics but also due to the fact that this is an Aussie TF forum (& knowing that I'm an Aussie TF person) - you've probably done a bit of snooping around too.

So, now you know even more about me than I've let on. So you now know what I'm like when hanging out with other TF people - & therefore assuming that you won't be able to keep tabs on me. Well, what did you figure out? Nothing new at all, is there. What you see with me is what you get. I'm not some two-faced liar in that I have completely different personalities around you & other people. See this is me - I'm straight up with a fair bit of sense of humour thrown in for the lighter side of life. I tell it the way it is but I'm also the person who tries to take the tension out of the air when things heat up. But I already told you that (even thought you probably don't believe it).

You know me pretty well by now & I know you... so where do we go from here? Only the Big Guy upstairs knows.

S, it seems as though I've let the cat out of the bag. Yep, it wasn't like I meant it but the other week, 2 Mates & I were talking all things TF and TFans came up, customising came up & so did your name. That led to me admitting that I knew you away from the TF world. This led to both the guys giving me a weird look - a sort of "Just how well does Pulse know S?". Oh Yes, & they don't know of you as just being S - they know about our past relationship & pretty much everything.

In a way, it felt kinda strange that I had spoken about you & me to other people - as though I'd finally gotten something off my chest that had been kinda eating at me inside & now that the whole world knows about it (well not exactly the whole world), The feeling of relief takes over & things change :).

What's weird about this now is how I feel about you. There's no lust, no passion, no anger, no hate, no questioning, no conflicting emotions - the only feeling is one of happiness :). Wow, I said it - I'm happy about You & I are. That sure felt strange but the fact is - we live on opposite sides of the world (NY & Sydney). How is anything going to work between us? Being realistic, we just live too far apart. How can anything develop between us when there is such a long distance in our path? It's gonna be pretty difficult for anything to actually happen but... never say never. If something is meant to happen, it will - it's out of our hands :).

Rampage
6th March 2008, 02:14 PM
crap Pulse didn't know we went to the same high school as each other

Pulse
6th March 2008, 02:20 PM
crap Pulse didn't know we went to the same high school as each other

Weird, Huh! When did you finish there?

Man I hate that dump of a school

Rampage
6th March 2008, 02:36 PM
Weird, Huh! When did you finish there?

Man I hate that dump of a school

i was expelled in 1995 i would've been 1 grade above you i would say :)

Pulse
6th March 2008, 02:47 PM
i was expelled in 1995 i would've been 1 grade above you i would say :)

Bahahahahahahahahahahahah!

What did you get expelled for?
Fighting? Swearing? Smoking? Graffiti?

Bartrim
6th March 2008, 02:58 PM
I don't use Myspace as it is littered with spammers.

Doesn't sound like you getting expelled Rampage:p

You went to school with KlownKiller (Grant ) too right?

Rampage
6th March 2008, 03:17 PM
Bahahahahahahahahahahahah!

What did you get expelled for?
Fighting? Swearing? Smoking? Graffiti?

fights & being disruptive in class if i even decided to attend etc etc

i_amtrunks
6th March 2008, 03:26 PM
fights & being disruptive in class if i even decided to attend etc etc

Yeah that kind of behaviour is unacceptable at BB's! :p Doomside however...