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View Full Version : Fic - Defensor "Inevitable"



bassbot
12th March 2008, 09:49 PM
Hi all, this is a fanfic that I wrote for March's fanfic competition on IDW's transformers forum.

I managed to get the most votes (by one!) so I get to choose April's character.

Here it is for your reading pleasure!

Planet/Date: Earth, 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
“Bring ‘em over here, Inferno!” cried Defensor as he lifted the remains of the smouldering building from its shaky position and placed it carefully onto the pile of smoking rubble next to him. It was a place he had become used to, the giant helping hand, the sole defence of the indefensible, and he knew it was also where he belonged.

His use on the frontline was limited, as he had found deep in himself a desire and function that was not attuned to acting in pure rage or with raw violence.

In the past two years he had aided various Human governments doing what he did best. Protect the innocent.

Earth had not asked for this war. Like all the planets that they had spread their insidious, creeping death and destruction, Earth had not coped well. So many times he had been faced with devastation on both an emotional and tangible level that his own processors could not manage.


“Here ya go guys! One load of struts and plating to build one heck of a shelter.” Inferno’s cheeriness grated against Defensor’s stern work ethic today. This was more that his processors had to deal with. He was not fully “I”, but also “We”. Since his first days of existence, during the terrible and irrevocable battles on Garrus-9, Jetfire had continually explained to him that he was a group of five Autobots become one. It was a pained and strenuous experimental technology, according to Jetfire, who also seemed to exude a smirk of pride whenever Defensor turned his back. But his vision was expansive, as he had come to find.

During his first exposure to the battlelines, he had found himself gifted with quick reflexes that belied his physical stature. This was a particular benefit when confronted with the behemoth figure of the poor Decepticon creature known only as Monstructor.

Fortunately he was free to live and protect on Earth as he continued to learn and reflect on his existence. Some part of him would say his “current” existence, but that’s something to reflect on later.

Because before him lay widespread destruction, apparently caused by a small Decepticon raiding party that Hot Rod had fortunately tracked to a small outcrop some miles south of the flaming consequences they had left.

He knew he would have to move on, and would not be here to the end of his work, but there were more innocents out there to protect. Those that are constantly threatened by the Decepticons presence. He was going to be needed elsewhere. It was inevitable.


Comments and crits are welcome! Please play nice with me, lol. :P

STL
12th March 2008, 10:21 PM
Why not something a bit longer? It reads almost like a Mosaic and I'm assuming it was based off that brilliant full Mosaic comic.

I think it's okay. The narrative isn't fluid. Especially in the 4th paragraph "Like all the planets...", I get the gist but it doesn't flow off the page. The jumping of thoughts don't progress very smoothly either. He suddenly thinks of Monstructor. Then thinks "Fortunately" as in he's glad to be away from battle. Yet here he is prortecting and knows he'll have to move onto the next battle.

Do, do more though. Especially longer ones. I think that might let you squeeze more in cos otherwise it's too squashed. I do like reading fanfic.

TheDirtyDigger
13th March 2008, 08:45 AM
Although Defensor's pacifism grated against my own stern, warmongering ethic, I found this quite a pleasant little read.

Thank you.:)

turtle boy
13th March 2008, 09:47 AM
I would vote, but we need your name ahaha.

bassbot
14th March 2008, 01:13 PM
thanks for the comments. the voting's over btw. but more each month on their forums.

the structure for this particular writing comp is UP TO 600 WORDS. So yeah, it makes for shorter reading, to try and make it easier for as many people to read the entries and vote.

In this case, my entry was only around the mid 400's though.

STL - thanks for your thoughts, i haven't tried to edit it, but after re-reading a few times I totally get your comments! Thanks for being considered in them and not just saying "this sux" or whatever. You gave me a good platform to think about my future writing.

DirtyD and Turtle Boy - thanks heaps!

bassbot
14th March 2008, 01:15 PM
The jumping of thoughts don't progress very smoothly either. He suddenly thinks of Monstructor. Then thinks "Fortunately" as in he's glad to be away from battle. Yet here he is prortecting and knows he'll have to move onto the next battle.


I liked your comments so much I read them and the story again! :) heh heh

The monstructor and "fortunately" thing definitely jump, and it was my head battling with tieing it to idw's continuity (which, like Feeling Yellow, I love doing) but not trying to give too much away. Probably a little bit between these two thoughts would have helped.

GoktimusPrime
14th March 2008, 08:50 PM
Blades is the one character who ought to make things interesting considering his aggressive and arguably hostile nature (he just loves to kick a$$). Groove is the real pacifist (First Aid was given Groove's persona in the G1 cartoon for some bizarre reason).

STL
14th March 2008, 11:13 PM
I liked your comments so much I read them and the story again! :) heh heh

The monstructor and "fortunately" thing definitely jump, and it was my head battling with tieing it to idw's continuity (which, like Feeling Yellow, I love doing) but not trying to give too much away. Probably a little bit between these two thoughts would have helped.

No worries, man. I wish I had more time myself to write stuff but I do love reading other people's stuff especially fellow Ozformers. So if you have any more stuff, be sure to post it here.

bassbot
15th March 2008, 11:12 PM
i definitely will!