The First Ever Transformers Review. (Hilarious, but real.)
The following is almost certainly the first-ever review of anything from the world of Transformers (from May 1984.) For anyone who hasn't read it before, it's definitely worth a look from a cultural and historic perspective (or merely for amusement.)
Original link: http://groups.google.com/group/net.c...e=source&hl=en
"My vote for worst comic of the year would have to go to Marvel's
TRANSFORMERS #1. Has anyone out there seen it? I'm still trying
to figure out why I wanted to spend $.75 on it in the first place,
but any reason I may have had was inadequate.
The premise is that two groups of 'robots' evolve on a faraway planet
and start an eons long war for control of same. This knocks the planet
from its orbit and sends it spinning through our solar system (!)
The goodguy robots send an expedition out to punch a path through the
asteroid belt, where they are ambushed by the badguy robots and all end up
crashing into Earth and being suspended for ages in a volcano. Then they
wake up and start the battle again.
I had thought I had seen bad comic writing at its peak during Marv Wolfman's
tenure on MACHINE MAN (MM 10-13 in particular are classically bad comics
and can be savored as such), but I think Ralph Macchio has topped even this.
The following is typical :
"--The AUTOBOTS. Whereas life elsewhere in the cosmos usually evolved
through carbon-bonding, here it was the interaction of naturally
occurring gears levers and pulleys that miraculously brought forth
sentient beings."
In addition, both sides go through incredibly bad sequences to establish
the identity of each robot in the worst 'of course you know..' manner,
and there are gaping holes in even elementary plot logic.
First has been accusing Marvel of what ammounts to dumping. I cannot
think of any other reason for this comic to exist,and admit to being
mystified about its intended audience (esp given the price).
On a more pleasant note, many thanks to y'all out there for
plugging Swamp Thing and Summerset (sp?) Holmes. I am enjoying them.
Clear Ether
Ted Nolan"
(P.S. This is Sky Shadow again. With comics now at $3.99 I'm most amused by the fact that the reviewer was disgusted by the 75c pricetag!)