Jesus.Quote:
Originally Posted by BigTransformerTrev
At least Vader had the decency to hide his disfigurement behind a mask.
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Jesus.Quote:
Originally Posted by BigTransformerTrev
At least Vader had the decency to hide his disfigurement behind a mask.
Hiding the lust as always ;):pQuote:
Originally Posted by Trent
Excerpt: Ah the classic Scarecrow, truly a mainstay of peoples vegetable patches over the years. Scarer of birds and amuser of children. In the Wizard of Oz it was someone desperately in need of a Higher Education degree, in Worzel Gummidge’s case it was an inanimate pile of straw turned sentient being who was constantly trying to get his end away with a store manikin. The Scarecrow is a bit of fun that adds some colour to your vege patch but as most folks know it is generally highly ineffective at actually scaring birds. However today I am going to teach you Big Angry Trev’s secret to building a Scarecrow that actually works! And the good news is, it’s actually easier to make than the classic one!
Article: How to build a Scarecrow
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Some movies make you laugh. Some movies move you to tears. Some movies dazzle you with fast paced action and brilliant special effects.
And sometimes you come across that movie that makes you walk out of the cinema with your brain slowly dribbling out of your ear saying “What the bloody hell did I just watch?!?”
If you like that kind of movie, then you will love Sausage Party.
Movie Review: Sausage Party
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Excerpt: I’ve had a love of German food since I visited the country many years ago. While the French might win on exquisite taste, the Germans win on cooking up succulent huge pieces of quadruped, wrapping it in cabbage or breadcrumbs and washing it down with a enough beer to sink a footy team. I had some brilliant feeds in Germany, so when I heard there was a food challenge to be had at the Hofbrauhaus German restaurant in Melbourne I simply couldn’t resist.
The challenge: To eat a 1.5kg pork schnitzel, a bowl of chips and a liter of German Bier in 45 minutes. If you do it, your meal is free and you get a t-shirt. If not, it costs you 75 big ones!
Tales of the Trev: Big Angry Trev vs the 1.5kg Pork Schnitzel!
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Love German beer cafes and have been meaning to try that one. Looks like I'll be giving that the wide berth now.
Excerpt: Last week I once again had the privilege of watching the aging alternative icon live. This is the third time in the last 10 years I have been able to see Henry Rollins do his spoken word show in person. Rollins was his usual self. For an 8pm start he hit the stage at 8.05 (and I think the only reason he waited 5 minutes was for the latecomers to be seated) and as soon as he picked up the mike the mouth started going and didn’t stop for 2 ½ hours (good value for a 2 hour show eh!) with big dollops of sweat dropping from his left elbow illuminated in the spotlights. As usual he started off talking about some of the local issues, in particular how despite his extensive vocabulary he had to look up the word ‘plebiscite’
Live Show Review: An Evening With Henry Rollins
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Dear Farmer Trev,
Ok, so I got chooks.
19 week old pullets. They are all New Hampshire cross breeds. One Australorp cross (proving to be the noisiest), a white leggorn X and a Rhode Island Red X. The tiniest (white leghorn cross) has already come on the lay but one of the others (or potentially her) is smashing up her eggs before I get to them. How do I stop this behaviour?
Also – hen pecking – tiny has already started hen pecking the red. How do I address hen pecking if it gets really bad? Or is this the natural order of hens and there’s nothing I can do?
Finally – Is there anything they really, really should not be fed or any tips for super happy hens?
Thanks Big Farmer T.
-Mads.
All chook questions answered HERE!
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Excerpt from blog: Listen up you little blood-sucking bastards!
For my entire life you have harassed me without provocation. As a teenager you bit me, after the bubbling hormones within my skinny, acne-laced frame. In my 20’s you swarmed me, no doubt to get drunk considering my blood-alcohol content was always simmering at a .049 In self-defense I’ve swatted you, I’ve slapped you, I’ve squashed you and yet you’ve persisted. But much like war in parts of the middle-east, where blood feuds are passed down culturally from one generation to the next creating a never ending cycle of violence, in my 30’s you have set your descendants upon the path of carrying on your jihad against me. But not only have you done the unconscionable of corrupting your own kids beliefs, you have now done the unforgivable, the unthinkable, the most evil thing I could think of…
You have declared war on my children!
DECLARATION OF WAR: BIG ANGRY TREV VS THE ENTIRE MOSQUITO RACE!
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I hear ya BTT. We went for a stroll late arvo & had to cut it short. My neck is covered in mossie hickies.
Both supermarkets here actually sold completely out of all bug killers and repellents yesterday :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Megatran
This question comes from Betty in Boga:
“Dear Big Angry Trev. My whole family supports you in your war against the mosquitoes! Do you have any tips for us so that we may battle them too?”
Well Betty, like any great battle there are two main areas you need to consider – offense and defense. I’ll assume you already have the supply chains to your troops in place so lets get straight to weaponry eh!
Read the full article on how to battle mosquitoes HERE!
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Excerpt from Blog: I’m not a big fat fan as a rule. I always leave it on when cooking so it helps hold in all those lovely meat juices, but I tend to cut it off more often than not when it comes to eating the meat in question. But pork crackling is different – it should be its own food group! Was it not the great Winston Churchil that said ‘All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope, crackling’ (Historians tend to leave that last word out but many of them are vegetarians – too much time in damp book depositories and not enough exercise so I wouldn’t put it past’em to have cut it on purpose). And today I am going to share with you the simple yet effective way of getting yourself a good a tasty hunk of this salty pig elixir!
Learn the secret to perfect Pork Crackling HERE!
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Excerpt from Blog: A foul mouthed, alcoholic, sex-obsessed criminal in a Santa suit freaking out kids and shagging everything in sight. 13 years ago we got introduced to Willy – better known to the world as Bad Santa. A movie that to this day remains my favorite ever Xmas movie and in my top 10 movies of all time (along with Sling Blade – Billy Bob Thornton rocks my world!). And now in 2016 Willy and his crew are back for the long awaited sequel – Bad Santa 2.
Read the review of BAD SANTA 2 here!
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Excerpt from Blog: A bunch of tiny multi-coloured misfits living and singing in the forest, happy as Larry with only the worry that some big baddy will come along and snatch them to eat. No I’m not talking about the gay version of the Smurfs (or am I?), I’m talking about the latest kids movie to hit the cinema – TROLLS.
Read the review of TROLLS here!
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Hey Trev. First up Happy New Year to you & your family.
Got a question. Does farting into a vacuum cleaner (while it's on) remove the smell or is that just 'hot air'?
Ask and ye shall recieve :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Megatran
Excerpt from Blog: as to whether having a vacuum cleaner in place will remove the smell. You say farting into a vacuum cleaner; I’m assuming by this you mean having the nozzle placed outside the sphincter ready to go upon flatulence excretion, rather than just sucking the smell out of the air post eruption. This must show that you are a young man as nearing 40 I don’t always have control of when I let one go, though I’ve found a beef vindaloo the night before will guarantee a plethora of gas the next morning.
To answer your question I tried the following experiments...
Read Can you get rid of flatulence odour with a vacuum? HERE
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Yes, yes ... vacuum nozzle outside the sphincter. :o:pQuote:
Originally Posted by BigTransformerTrev
Your blogs are always enjoyable to read.
Cheers man - I love getting random 'Ask Trev' questions - lets me flex the ol' creativity muscles :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Megatran
And now for something even more disturbing because it is actually true :p
Excerpt from Blog: I grab my keys and go open the shed door, anxious to get the more onerous of the jobs over with before the temperature reaches the forecast 37 degree’s – atypical for the Mallee in January. Just inside the door is my big beer fridge and close to that is a black crate I’ve been using to sort my Transformer books and DVD’s (yes, as well as being a hobby farmer I’m also a big TF nerd). I notice immediately that there has been a big web spun between the crate and the fridge that wasn’t there the night before. There are a few bits of twig and dry grass in it. Also a great big Redback Spider is busy in the web, hungrily sucking on the tail of… a snake.
A snake.
A bloody snake!
Read Redback Spider killing Blind Snake – my morning surprise! HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: Wow – I really can’t believe this myself. All those years I wasted in my 20’s trying to get famous with acting and doing stand-up comedy. What I should have been doing is taking photo’s of dead animals – that’s where the acclaim is! I’ve been contacted by internet, newspaper and television sources for the story, apparently deadly Aussie creatures killing each other is a newsworthy story all are eager to get their media mitts on. I’ve done 3 phone interviews in the last 2 days – it’s wiggy but kinda cool!
Read Spider kills Snake - the media storm hits! HERE
(links to interviews/articles contained within)
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And just when you thought my 'Spider kills Snake' story couldn't get any more coverage, it is featured on an evening news report!
Watch the Spider kills Snake news report video HERE!
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Excerpt from Blog: Ah the internet, where everyone can agree on the big things like peace and love, but will get into blindingly hateful arguments over something like are Tiny Teddies considered a biscuit or a cookie.
Since the picture I took of a Redback Spider feeding on a ‘Blind Snake’ went viral, there have been dozens of people arguing about species. Whilst everyone agrees it is a Redback spider and most people seem to agree with my assessment that it is a Blind Snake, lots of people have their own theories about what the Redback is actually feeding on, some arguing for different species of snake and some arguing that it is a completely different creature all together!
Read Snake, Earthworm or Lizard? The debate heats up! HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: One could reasonably expect that a place that names themselves ‘Cheeseworld’ would be capable of a decent Cheeseburger. Otherwise they have no business naming themselves as such – rather they should name themselves ‘Mediocreworld’ or ‘Processeddairyworld’ or something.
Luckily for them, Cheeseworld won’t have to rename itself any time soon. This was a pretty damn tasty cheeseburger! In fact perhaps the best cheeseburger I have ever eaten!
Read Meat Review - the Cheeseworld Cheeseburger HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: Multiverse theory states that if it is possible for a world to exist then somewhere it must exist. That there are many parallel universes to our own, consisting of worlds different than that on which we live.
Consider Cheeseworld – a world comprised entirely of cheese. What would we find there? Would the moon indeed be made of cheese? Would the Earth be made out of a Hard Dry Jack for the various cheese creatures to walk and graze upon. Imagine if you will herds of majestic Goat and Yak cheeses grazing under the Peppercon cheddar trees by a flowing river of Runny Blue.
Would people worship the great Gouda in the sky?
Read Tourist Spot Review - Cheeseworld HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: When it comes to cooking, various cultures seem to have the patents on different styles. The French have their light-on-the-stomach-yet-sinfully-rich cusine. The Germans are masters of wrapping up huge hunks of quadruped in cabbage and roasting the hell out of it. The Mexicans… well…. what you can usually say about Mexican food is that it’s fun to eat!
I like Mexican food, having an almost Deadpool’esque love of the food. I’ve never actually been to Mexico so I’ve always had to deal with other countries interpretations of their food. All the Mexican restaurants I tried in Melbourne were distinctly average. In fact the only really good Mexican restaurant I’ve been to was in Edinburgh, Scotland. Since that was over a decade ago I’ve been really hankering to have good Mexican again, so was eager to try the food at Cactus Jam in Warrnambool.
Read Meat Review - Cactus Jam in Warrnambool HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: When backpacking around Europe I visited many of the world’s great art galleries. I went to The National Gallery in London and saw Van Gogh’s Sunflowers. I went to the Louvre in Paris and saw the Mona Lisa. I went to the the Museo del Prado in Madrid and had my mind turned inside out by the works of Dali. Hell, I even went to a museum in Amsterdam which seemed to house all the concrete willy’s that had been knocked off all the Italian statues during the rise of Puritism. From great galleries to the gaudy, from museums to mausoleums I’ve seen it all. So who better to take you through the latest collection of artwork to be released for the public’s perusal –Deadpool: Drawing the Merc with a Mouth
Read Art Book Review: Deadpool - Drawing the Merc with a Mouth HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: Australia Day. A day to, in essence, celebrate Australia and being Australian. Seems pretty straight forward and for many years it has been. Get a day off work, have a BBQ and a beer. Catch up with a few mates – all very uncomplicated.
But now we have the internet.
Every year Australia Day seems to become more and more ‘obsessive, angry fragger on social media sh*tstorm day’. Don’t dare log on to Facebook or Twitter or anything else because this is what you will see:
The Far Left: “It’s Invasion Day! It shouldn’t be held on January 26th! It’s a racist day! We should all feel shame for something we have 3rd hand knowledge of!”
The Far Right: “If you don’t like Australia then f*ck off. If you don’t like our customs then f*ck off. If you don’t conform to our norms then f*ck off back to where you came from!”
Why don't you all just calm the hell down ok?
Read Remember when Australia Day was a relaxed event? HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: Goats. Sheep with brains. Reputations for being grumpy, smelly, eating tin cans and destroying any plants they get near. Why would anyone want a goat as a pet?
Because, if raised correctly, they are intelligent, loving, playful and can become wonderful members of your family, that’s why!
We have two female Boer Goats – Milly and Molly – twin sisters. And they are the nicest animals you could ever hope to meet! They follow us around like dogs, eat from our hand, give little kisses and licks and love to climb trees with the kids. In fact they are wonderful with the children as whenever we go for a walk they tend to pick a child each and shadow them, walking three or four feet behind, just like they are their hairy protectors.
Of course, goats can be a lot of work and you need to have the right space set up for them. So here are some excellent tips for keeping goats as pets:
Read Raising Goats as Pets HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: Some of you may have read in the ‘Ask Trev’ section some tips I gave long-time reader Maddy in regards to caring for her new chickens. Some of these tips revolved around stopping her chickens getting mites.
Well it shows that one must have constant vigilance as I had not recently enacted some of my own advice and two of my chickens got infested with mites. This combined with a 45+ degree day lead to the demise of one of our dear chookies.
Since then I have been on the mite-attack! Getting rid of them and making sure they do not return. So today’s advice is on how to get rid of mites once you have them and how to do it without resorting to harmful chemicals. Everything you need you can make at home the permaculture way!
Read Permaculture - treating mite infestations in chickens HERE
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Excerpt from Blog:
Valentines Day. The cynical see it as a day invented by the greeting card companies. The sleazy see it as a day to prey on lonely, drunk, single people in bars. For those of us with partners it can often seem a bit of a chore, as if like Christmas we are supposed to drag our sorry butts out there yet again and rack our brains for something to give our significant other in order to fulfill this yearly obligation.
But nay, these are all the wrong ways to look at this day of romance. Yes it may be a bit cheesy, it may be a bit stereotypical, but Valentine’s Day really can be a day to enjoy and show the one you love that you actually do care!
Now, there are few that have met me that could deny I am a romantic soul. I have romance drippin out me various pores I do! When it comes to wooing the fairer sex there is me, Don Juan and Donald Trump. So here are Big Romantic Trev’s tips for romancin the arse off your beloved!
Read Big Romantic Trev's Valentines Day Advice HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: Spoons. Not just a catch cry for the superhero ‘The Tick’ but also a riverside restaurant to be found in sunny Swan Hill.
My wife and I have been eating at Spoons a few times a year since we moved to the area back in 2011. What I’ve always liked about the restaurant is the majority of what is on the menu are meals that you would never cook yourself or have little idea how to. I remember years ago when there eating slow-cooked pork belly on a bed of popped barley and warm grapes! While not the cheapest restaurant in town, you usually get value for money and rarely walk out of the place disappointed.
Today for my meat review I will be looking at their latest offering: Pulled BBQ Wagyu on soft pretzel bun with slaw and fries.
Read my review of The Pulled BBQ Wagyu Burger HERE!
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I've started short 30 second videos called 'Big Angry Trev's Thought for the Day'.
Thought for the Day #1
About clowns and balls
Thought for the Day #2
A satirical look at how even positive racial stereotyping is still racial stereotyping.
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Looks like someone one-upped you mate...
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Yeah I got that shared about 50 times by people on my FB page :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by 5FDP
Excerpt from Blog: Mulch – wonderful stuff! Serves three main purposes around your garden:
-It keeps the moisture in the ground by preventing direct sunlight hitting the soil
-It helps to prevent weeds growing by covering bare earth
-It beautifies an area by putting down a layer of woodchips rather than looking at either the ground or weed matting
And of course you can pick mulch up most anywhere. If you have a tiny garden, then maybe it’s economically feasible to just grab a bag or two at Bunnings or your local garden center. But what if you have a big garden, or even like me a hobby farm? Suddenly a few bucks a bag doesn’t seem so cheap when you would need about 50 of them!
Well, good news! There is a place you can go where you can not only get as much mulch as you want for free, but you will be helping the environment by doing so. That place is your local tip.
Read Sustainability Tip: Get your mulch for free - from the tip! HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: It’s Monday morning. I’m on my way in to town in the ute to do a few jobs before I grab a metric ton of gravel for the driveway. One of the jobs I’m doing is to drop off some unneeded clothing in the Salvo bins. 5 bags of maternity clothes that my wife has washed, sorted, folded and properly bagged up to donate.
I drive in to town and head to the carpark where the donation bins are located. Only one problem…
… I can’t get near them for all the crap that has been dumped!
Read Random Rant - don't use the Charity Bins as your personal dumping ground! HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: The culinary balancing act – tis a tightrope that any man who does his share of the cooking at home must walk. On the one hand you need to balance the needs of your wife or girlfriend (never invite both to the same meal – it can only lead to disaster) has in regards to dietary requirements against your need to not eat a meal that tastes like a rabbit took a fart in a meadow. This is not an easy task.
However it is doable. Today I’m going to give you an example using a very simple dish which you can then apply the principles of to other meals. Today we will look at Big Angry Trev’s His & Hers’ Bangers and Mash!
Read Meat Recipe #4 - His & Hers Bangers and Mash HERE
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Most definitely hers
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Excerpt from Blog: Some Councils are looking at introducing green bins for their residents. These bins will serve the purpose the same way your current recycle ones do – separating items that can be reused in some fashion rather than it going into the landfill. In this case, green waste.
That might be fine and dandy if you live in an inner suburb in a major metropolis. If you live in a house that has a big garden or like me, you have a hobby farm – then why pay to have this valuable stuff to be taken away? You can use it all yourself – and I do mean all! In fact so much so that it will can reduce your costs in other areas such as buying compost or animal feed.
Read Sustainability Tip - don't let your green waste go to waste! HERE
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Excerpt from Blog: Back in the days when I still held hopes and dreams of being a brilliant actor – adored by the masses and mobbed by beautiful women wherever I went, I mainly scored the highly glamorous work of being an extra on different TV shows. Name a bad Melbourne-made Aussie cop show from the 90’s and chances are if you watch a few episodes carefully enough you will eventually spot me milling around in the background.
I did however appear in three movies. One was ‘made for TV’ (On the Beach) and two went to cinema. In one I was just an extra (The Road to Nhill) but in the other I auditioned and actually scored a speaking role! This is the tale of how I ended up there and the immortal words I got to utter on the big screen.
(Warning: my lines were not PC!)
Read My immortal lines on the Big Screen HERE!
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Excerpt from Blog: International Women’s Day. A day to celebrate women everywhere. There have been three main women in my life – my mother, my wife and my daughter (an honorable mention to my older sister but I will be using my love for her to discuss a different recipe). I cannot express enough the depth of my love for these wonderful women. So on International Women’s Day I do my best to honor the three of them. I do this by cooking, in memory of my mother, the dish she would always cook for me whenever I came home to visit as she knew I loved it so much! I’ve carried this on by cooking it for my wife and daughter. Though it is not the most ‘feminine’ meal, it always reminds me of my mum and it satiates my 2-year old’s craving for meat as well as my wife’s enjoyment of not having to cook after a long day at work. So let me share with you Big Angry Trev’s mothers recipe for ‘Oven-cooked T-Bone Steak & Onions with Mashed Potatoes and Mushroom Gravy.
Read Meat Recipe #5 - Mum's Oven-cooked T-Bone Steak & Onions with Mushroom Gravy HERE
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Excerpt From Blog:
Today I shed a tear for a man I had never met.
I woke up this morning to see on social media that Murray Ball had passed away. A minor celebrity that Gen Y or anyone outside New Zealand or Australia has probably never heard of. He was a Kiwi Cartoonist who had written a few books but was most famous for being the creator, artist and writer of Footrot Flats, a newspaper comic strip that ran for a few decades and inspired an animated movie.
So why did this whom I never met mean so much to me?
Growing up on a farm in Australia there was not a lot of media one could relate to. We only had two TV channels and I had no concept of Cable TV, let along the internet that would come along decades later. Everything on TV was from America or the UK, the exceptions seeming to be the news and soapies – neither of much interest to a young boy.
But there was Footrot Flats.
Read Why Footrot Flats meant so much to me HERE!
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