Transformers Venting thread!

[GoktimusPrime]

One the whole, most post-G1 Transformers bios are pretty much crap. There were some stand-out exceptions in Beast Machines, Cybertron, Combiner Wars etc., but for the most part they're just really ordinary.

And I think that this is what happens when Hasbro stopped asking professional writers to write the tech spec bios for the toys. During G1, it was writers from Marvel Comics who wrote not just the bios for the characters, but practically created the entire mythos for Transformers. Autobots, Decepticons, Cybertron etc. -- all made by Marvel. And Marvel treated the Transformers as if they were comic book characters. They fleshed them out. Each toy had its own unique personality traits, abilities, weaknesses - and more importantly something that is very rarely found in Transformers bios these days - personality quirks. Many G1 Transformers just had something quirky about them that made them unique and endearing.

e.g.
* Thundercracker: morally conflicted
* Bumblebee: desperate to prove himself
* Soundwave: blackmails fellow Decepticons for personal advantage
* Breakdown: paranoid
* Tailgate: delusional
* Swerve: reckless
* Silverbolt: supersonic jet who's scared of heights
* Cosmos: incredibly lonely and suffers from boredom
* Snarl: anti-social
* Swindle: avaricious
* Groove: pacifist
* Hound: anthropophile
* Hook: narcissist
* Dead End: emo
et al.

We generally don't get that anymore. Toy bios these days are mostly the same. They usually just tell us how 'kick arsenal' this toy is and why you should get him! It's all just about the awesomeness of the character, no weaknesses or quirks or other things that make them an individual person.

Let's Compare: Powermaster Optimus Prime

Here is the packaging bio for Titans Return Powermaster Optimus Prime (2016):

Optimus Prime will stand against any threat. Autobot Apex helps him face the enemies that even the Autobot Commander cannot face alone. The Titan Master carries a portion of the spark - and power - of Optimus Prime, increasing the legendary warrior's already immense strength, speed, and intelligence.

Now here is his extended bio:

Optimus Prime will stand against any threat. Autobot Apex helps him face enemies that even the Autobot Commander cannot face alone. The Titan Master carries a portion of the spark, and power, of Optimus Prime, increasing the legendary warrior's already immense ability. With that boost to his systems, he charges into battle as Powermaster Optimus Prime.

Now here is the tech specs bio for G1 Powermaster Optimus Prime (1988):

"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."
The beloved leader of all Autobots. Dedicated to protecting all life forms -- mechanical, human, and otherwise. Willing to sacrifice anything in order to end the Autobot/Decepticon conflict. Wise and compassionate... the inspiration that fuels every Autobot. Binary bonded to the super intelligent Nebulan computer programmer, HiQ. In engine mode, HiQ handles all of Prime's power needs. Trailer transforms into armed fortress, complete with laser rifle, concussion blaster, and 2 twin particle beam cannons. Tractor and trailer combined construct Optimus Prime's new super-powered robot form.

Now here is his extended bio:

Allegiance: AUTOBOT
Sub-Group: POWERMASTER
Master Component: HI Q
Function: AUTOBOT COMMANDER
"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."
Profile: Sage, scholar, soldier- Optimus Prime is all this and more. To peace-loving beings across the galaxy the revered leader of the Autobots is the living symbol of freedom -- a beacon that shines against the forces of darkness. To his followers he is a bottomless well of inspiration and courage from which they draw their strength. And to the evil Decepticons he is the one force in the universe who can shatter their dreams of galactic conquest. He has dedicated his existence to the protection of all life forms -- mechanical, organic and otherwise. His wisdom and compassion are legendary. Although fate has set his course on a path of destruction and strife, his greatest desire is to bring peace and harmony to all inhabited worlds everywhere. Optimus Prime is binary bonded-to Hi Q, a humanoid whose genius in computer programming and design was renowned on his home planet of Nebulos. There he ran the Hi Q Industrial Research Complex, a facility that had, over the past few decades, dramatically improved the quality of life for his people. While trying to help several Autobots rebuild Optimus Prime, he made the decision to join the Autobots and defend Nebulos against a Decepticon attack. To do so, he and several of his employees underwent The Powermaster Process, which, through bio-engineering, gave them the ability to transform into the engines that their Autobot partners required to power their fight against the Decepticons. Hi Q was paired with Optimus Prime. So far their collaborative efforts have met with great success.
Abilities: Optimus Prime is the strongest and most intelligent of all the Autobots. His strategic, logic, and programming skills have no equal among Transformers. He splits into-three modules: robot, auxiliary and battle station. The van portion of his trailer truck mode transforms into the robot or "Optimus" module, which is the part of him that is sentient and is most commonly referred to as Optimus Prime. In this mode he can lift (1815t) and exert a force of (845kg per cm^2) with a single punch. He carries a laser rifle with which he can bum a hole in the nose cone of a Decepticon jet at a distance of 50km. And with his outstanding visual acuity, he rarely misses. His auxiliary or "Prime" module is a small cart-shaped device that he stores in his trailer portion and occasionally uses to sneak behind enemy lines for reconnaissance purposes. He can maintain radio control over it within a (1930km) radius. Having his auxiliary unit in the field is like being there himself. The trailer portion of his truck turns into his battle station module, which also serves as an armed fortress. It is equipped with two concussion blasters, two twin particle beam cannons, an auto-launcher that shoots a variety of artillery and radiation beam weapons, and a landing platform. An antenna within the battle station allows Optimus Prime to control it and also to maintain a radio link to all Autobots within a (80km) radius. The antenna can be adapted to a satellite hookup, which provides a tenfold increase in its effective range. In robot mode, he can combine with his trailer module and more than double his size and quadruple his strength. Traditionally, the elders of the Transformer race have bestowed upon an individual of great courage and wisdom the Creation Matrix, an intricate program encoded in light patterns within a crystal. The Matrix grants its bearer the amazing ability to help create new Transformer life within the lifeless shell of a newly constructed Transformer body. Since the beginning of the Autobot-Decepticon war, an Autobot Commander has typically possessed the Matrix. The most recent Autobot leader to be so honoured was Optimus Prime.
Weaknesses: Although Optimus Prime can function as three separate modules, injury to any one of them is felt by the other two. The auxiliary unit is particularly vulnerable. However, the Optimus module is by far the most important unit of the trio. Although he could survive without the other two, they could not survive without him. Otherwise, the only weakness he could be accused of having is compassion and concern for the safety of others. He would be a more effective military commander if he were more ruthless, but then he wouldn't be Optimus Prime.

Yeah... I really miss the good ol' days when toys had well written bios and I would enjoy just reading them off the shelves. Whenever my mum took us shopping, I'd ask to just hang out at a toy store and wait at a rendezvous near it. While she shopped for groceries etc., I would spend that time reading through all the tech spec bios.

[DELTAprime]

I can't say I have ever read a bio on a toy box. The associated media (comics/TV show/movie) tells me everything I need to know about the toy.

[GoktimusPrime]

Most post-G1 toy bios don't really tell you anything beyond what you can get from associated media, whereas during G1 the bios told us a lot. This was because the toy bios were the foundation for the Transformers mythos. One of the best things that Hasbro did was to commission Marvel Comics to create the back story and individual bios for the Transformers. And this included the characters' names, which really sound more like comic book names. Toy company execs just don't seem to have the same level of creativity as a comic writer.

Just compare the names of some of the early Transformers with that of the Machine Men/Gobots. The Machine Men started off with names like F-15 Man until Transformers came out and they tried to give them more catchy names like "Leader-1," but ultimately Tonka's toy staff (or possibly Hanna Barbera writers if it was them who came up with the new names, I don't know) just couldn't match what Marvel created.

F-15 Man/Leader-1 ←→ Optimus Prime
Cycle Man/Cy-Kill ←→ Megatron
Aero Man/Fi-Tor ←→ Starscream
Police Man/Hans Cuff ←→ Prowl
Racer Man/Turbo ←→ Sideswipe
Buggy Man/Buggy Man ←→ Beachcomber
Jeep Man/Geeper Creeper ←→ Hound
Porsche Man/Crasher ←→ Jazz
etc.

The other great thing about having good bios on the toys is that it allowed us to know who these characters were before they appeared in media. Because the toys came first, we would often see these figures in stores long before we saw them appear in a comic book, TV show etc. And some characters got very little if any exposure in media, and even if they did, it wasn't always accurate to who they actually were. Take Thundercracker for example. He's got one of the most interesting bios ever written for a Decepticon, yet for decades his character was never accurately portrayed by writers - not until only recently when IDW finally decided to do this character justice. But the fact is that IDW didn't even this character trait for Thundercracker, it's been part of his character since 1984... it's just that no other writer had ever bothered to tap into this before. Characters like Tailgate have also never been accurately portrayed in media either, even though his original toy persona is really fun to play around with! I remember when I first got Tailgate back in 1986, I'd pretend that he was driving around human towns and freaking out over the apparent enslavement of his fellow machines and was conflicted over why they had to fight to defend human slavers. Then there are plenty of characters who never had canonical appearances during the original G1 run (although many have since appeared in IDW) such as Hubcap.

[FatalityPitt]

One of the best things that Hasbro did was to commission Marvel Comics to create the back story and individual bios for the Transformers. And this included the characters' names, which really sound more like comic book names. Toy company execs just don't seem to have the same level of creativity as a comic writer...

Indeed, Marvel were the house of ideas back then. Some of the best Transformers fiction, to me, were the earlier comics by Simon Furman and Bud Budiansky. Some of it was pretty dark, especially the Generation 2 stuff, but the stories had more depth compared to the cartoons. It's a real treat knowing that it's those same people who wrote the original G1 bios.

... I remember when I first got Tailgate back in 1986, I'd pretend that he was driving around human towns and freaking out over the apparent enslavement of his fellow machines and was conflicted over why they had to fight to defend human slavers.

Reminds me of a time in my childhood. Back when I was kid, my friends and I would sometimes go to another kid's house with a transformer each and play mock battles. There was this one time when I had Soundwave, and this other kid had his Blot attack my Soundwave, and I asked him "Why you attacking me? We're on the same side." To which he replied "You must die. You know our secrets. If you get caught by Optimus Prime over there, and you get interrogated; they'll know everything about us." Haha, priceless!

[Thurmus]

Finally got a Triggerhappy and he has two left guns or is it right guns. Two of the same any way.

[GoktimusPrime]

Indeed, Marvel were the house of ideas back then. Some of the best Transformers fiction, to me, were the earlier comics by Simon Furman and Bud Budiansky. Some of it was pretty dark, especially the Generation 2 stuff, but the stories had more depth compared to the cartoons. It's a real treat knowing that it's those same people who wrote the original G1 bios.

It was actually Bob Budiansky who wrote most of the G1 tech spec bios and overall groundwork for the G1 canon. He's basically the "father" of G1 mythos.

[Jellico]

When I gave my nephews some Combiner Wars bots I made sure to give them extended bios off Wiki. I have just found out that they are renaming the bots to names that mean something to themselves.

Having done a bit of work for a table top game I can safely say that good fluff is a lot of work for not much return. It is easy once. Then it gets ugly as consistency and fact checking has to be maintained.

I look at that awesome Prime fluff above and cringe every time I see a hard number because there are people out there who will call you on it if you get it wrong, every single time.

The worst of it is, most people won't read it any more than once. Especially in the 80s the boxes went in the bin so unless an impression was made there is no chance of it being remembered. (I remember my Starscream to this day. The others, not so much).

The real money is making people play for plastic. Repeatedly.

I can't say I have ever read a bio on a toy box. The associated media (comics/TV show/movie) tells me everything I need to know about the toy.

And right there is the problem.

Actually this taps into an argument I have been having with myself about "sexy" fembots.
I showed a couple of civilians a Strongarm toy and asked them what gender they thought she was. I got a 50% hit rate and she is reasonably feminine. Back in the day I had a couple of female Machine Men but never knew it because I didn't have access to the cartoon.

The bot has to convey everything about itself without supporting media. Factional symbols, red eyes, altmodes, things like that matter.

[GoktimusPrime]

Having done a bit of work for a table top game I can safely say that good fluff is a lot of work for not much return. It is easy once. Then it gets ugly as consistency and fact checking has to be maintained.

Another inexpensive way is to recruit the assistance of fans. We're naturally obsessed walking canonical encyclopaedias! Takara(TOMY) recruited the assistance of Ichikawa Hirofumi who wrote bios and in-package stories for series like Binaltech, eHobby G1s and many more. Heck, Hasbro AP recruited me to translate instructions and write up bios for their imported Masterpiece figures and literally paid me in action figures. As you all know, while the instructions are translations, the bios and text blurbs are often my own creations as I re-write them from an Anglophone canonical POV (as per Hasbro's target market).

And I know first hand that writing bios for toy companies presents different challenges from that of writing for pleasure. Adhering to strict deadlines is one, often because Hasbro gives me short notice and I'm doing my full time job and family commitments on top of doing work for Hasbro. There were many late nights and I just had to ask Hasbro for a few days' extension on MP Lambor because they got me to do that and LG Arcee at the same time and I had only a week to turn them in! But we'll still push ourselves to do it because of the passion that we have for the franchise (and that's something that Hasbro AP realises and appreciates).

The Combiner Wars bios were actually alright, and drew from the IDW comics. And they managed to be quadrilingual too!

e.g.

Combiner Wars Megatron
There was a time when the name of Megatron was honored by many across Cybertron. But power inevitably corrupts, and none are so powerful as mighty Megatron. Long ago, he forgot he was a hero, and became nothing more than a tyrant. The war he launched eventually drained his home planet of life. Not even the death of a world could satiate his hunger for conquest.

Combiner Wars Ultra Magnus
The legend of Ultra Magnus is exceeded only by the legend of Optimus Prime. When Ultra Magnus was lost, the forces of justice would not let a warrior of his calibre fall. Minimus Ambus, using the power of his rare loadbearer spark, enables Ultra Magnus to fight on.

^That's awesome! I don't know if Hasbro recruited a fan to write those bios or if it was just one of their staff members who just bothered to do some homework (or perhaps a collaboration of both, fans like Ben Yee have been used by Hasbro as fan consultants).

The bot has to convey everything about itself without supporting media. Factional symbols, red eyes, altmodes, things like that matter.

I agree with you about the alt modes, but I find that all that other stuff - and yeah, even the bios/canon, are all superfluous. Ultimately a good toy will sell on its own merit, regardless of all that other stuff. Take the Omnibots for example. They had no bios (and even if they did, we couldn't have read them before purchase anyway). And yet how many of us furiously saved up Robot Points and bugged our parents to send them in with money to purchase them? We knew nothing about their personalities, but they had cool looking alt modes and looked like great toys, so we bought them! Reflector looked nothing like his cartoon model (which had Viewfinder's body with a head more closely resembling Spyglass'). And don't forget that the early Transformers were already successful toys in Japan before they became Transformers, lacking individual personalities or much in the way of supporting media.

While I love well written bios etc., I do recognise that it's ultimately really sweet icing on the top of the cake. What really matters is the quality of the toy. I don't know how many MP collectors really care about their toys coming with a Japanocentric or Anglocentric bio - they'll just buy the toy if they think it's cool. TakaraTOMY's Legends Headmasters are based on Japanese canon, meaning that the Transtectors aren't even sapient and the Headmaster robots are actually Cybertronians, not Nebulans. But a lot of Western collectors are importing them because they feel that they're better toys than their Hasbro counterparts, and conversely I know of Japanese fans who are importing Hasbro Titans Return figures because they prefer the toy accuracy. Toys like Robots In Disguise (2001) sold really well even though the canon was clearly targeting a very young audience (and Hasbro's bios were just rubbish). Similarly Binaltech and so on. Contrast this with weak toys like Combiner Class Devastator, who shelf warmed despite being marketed by a US$200 million Hollywood blockbuster (and Devastator's scene was one of the most amazing visual spectacles ever seen in cinema - the animation crashed ILM's computers!). Takara release Binaltech with nothing more than text bios and stories written by a fan, yet it's become far more endearing among fans than say Revenge of the Fallen. And MPs is one of the enduring legacies of Car Robot (RiD2001) and BT (we know that early MPs were scaled to BT, e.g. MP4's trailer).

[Jellico]

Another inexpensive way is to recruit the assistance of fans.

[snip]

And I know first hand that writing bios for toy companies presents different challenges from that of writing for pleasure.

That was the first thing I thought of when I read your first sentence
I am glad you understand if only to help explain to those who don't know.

In this open sourced age it all seems so easy from the outside, but as soon as there is money involved it all changes. I have been accused of drinking the Kool Aid and toeing the company's needlessly stupid line. Those lines exist for reasons, often stupid, but all too necessary at a business level.

The requirement to keep control of the IP would probably kill any serious attempt outsource to freelancers in large numbers. It would be like trying to herd cats. There are plenty of fans with encyclopedic knowledge, but harnessing them and them having the discipline to write what they are told.

[GoktimusPrime]

I know what you mean. But I reckon all a company needs to do is find even just one (or a few) reliable fans and stick with them. Something else that some people don't always appreciate is the importance of trust between a company and fans that they collaborate with. It's not easy for companies to simply approach random fans asking for help because yeah, a lot of them wouldn't have the discipline to tow the line. I must confess that one of the most difficult things I found about working with Hasbro was keeping my damn mouth shut about my work until news about the toy was officially out. It's not easy.

Heck, I've been privy to some information about some toys coming out next year and I've seen people post certain speculative comments which make me wanna post a reply... I haven't actually signed any NDCs for these lines, as this info came to me through casual conversations with Hasbro staff... but at the same time I don't want to be the source of any leaks and potentially damage Hasbro's trust in me. So I just keep my big mouth shut and hit that Back button on my browser! Then I go and cry in a pillow.