Corvus

[Paulbot]

I'd agree panel 6 would have bigger impact as a larger panel if that's the pay off reveal. But a smaller Unicron could work too. Revealing the shape and identity is all that matters.

The flow of text in panel 5 is off. My eye wants to reads the two Unicron speech balloons first rather than the first than jumping to the far right and back again to the left. I'd suggest Panel 5 has a split down the middle with one bubble from each character in each half.

[Verno]

*Shakes fist at Panel 5*

Yeah Sam, it's for a Mosaic. My biggest fear (apart from now finding a way to get Panel 5 to work ) is the editors rejecting the idea because it isn't set in established canon. Unicron's return, the Tripredacus Council being of Cybertronian Empire heritage, even the destruction of the Hub are all events that haven't officially happened or been made reference to before.

I'll milk the other panels as much as I can to give more room to Panel 6. I agree, a 2nd page would be lovely, but alas, I've got to work within the constraints.

Another bitch of a thing to content with is the TF: Mosaic logo that with go at the top of the page. I feel I've got to cut some dialogue, or at least trim it.

Thanks for the feedback lads, keep it coming! (I'll post up another version soon to be picked apart)

[Verno]

Ok, here's take two, complete with the odd spelling mistake. Sue me



It's pretty boring layout wise with one frame on top of the other, and panel 6 can still be made bigger.

Thoughts?

[Paulbot]

I have thoughts. I'll share them tonight. Some need visual aids.

[Verno]

A powerpoint presentation?!

[Paulbot]

PM'd

[Verno]

With a big Thank You to Paulbot, who helped me flesh out the panels a bit more, we have a new version with some rough, and I do stress rough, images (both Paul's quick sketches and my terrible use of MS Paint. But here we go:



Panel 1 - as before.

Panel 2 - Now has Corvus walking past a huge window showing the Hub debris, and boarding a ship.

Panel 3 - Corvus inside the ship. Out the window we see debris. On display panels in the cockpit to the left and right we see Cybertron on one and Prime on the other.

Panel 4 - Will be an even closer in shot of the maws of Unicron opening (but different so we don't give the game away that it's Unicron yet.

Panel 5 - Some bad-ass looking Cybertronians with a Unicron insigna somewhere on their bodies.

Panel 6 - The big reveal. Unicron beginning to eat the Hub debris and Corvus blasting off to Cybertron to have some fun.

Thoughts?