The First Ever Transformers Review. (Hilarious, but real.)

[Sky Shadow]

The following is almost certainly the first-ever review of anything from the world of Transformers (from May 1984.) For anyone who hasn't read it before, it's definitely worth a look from a cultural and historic perspective (or merely for amusement.)

Original link: http://groups.google.com/group/net.c...e=source&hl=en

"My vote for worst comic of the year would have to go to Marvel's
TRANSFORMERS #1. Has anyone out there seen it? I'm still trying
to figure out why I wanted to spend $.75 on it in the first place,
but any reason I may have had was inadequate.

The premise is that two groups of 'robots' evolve on a faraway planet
and start an eons long war for control of same. This knocks the planet
from its orbit and sends it spinning through our solar system (!)
The goodguy robots send an expedition out to punch a path through the
asteroid belt, where they are ambushed by the badguy robots and all end up
crashing into Earth and being suspended for ages in a volcano. Then they
wake up and start the battle again.

I had thought I had seen bad comic writing at its peak during Marv Wolfman's
tenure on MACHINE MAN (MM 10-13 in particular are classically bad comics
and can be savored as such), but I think Ralph Macchio has topped even this.
The following is typical :

"--The AUTOBOTS. Whereas life elsewhere in the cosmos usually evolved
through carbon-bonding, here it was the interaction of naturally
occurring gears levers and pulleys that miraculously brought forth
sentient beings."

In addition, both sides go through incredibly bad sequences to establish
the identity of each robot in the worst 'of course you know..' manner,
and there are gaping holes in even elementary plot logic.

First has been accusing Marvel of what ammounts to dumping. I cannot
think of any other reason for this comic to exist,and admit to being
mystified about its intended audience (esp given the price).

On a more pleasant note, many thanks to y'all out there for
plugging Swamp Thing and Summerset (sp?) Holmes. I am enjoying them.

Clear Ether
Ted Nolan"

(P.S. This is Sky Shadow again. With comics now at $3.99 I'm most amused by the fact that the reviewer was disgusted by the 75c pricetag!)

[GoktimusPrime]

US#1 is a pretty ordinary issue with horrific artwork (although it was toy-accurate! The UK comics gave us better toy-accurate art though). It's only worth collecting/reading purely from a G1 collector's POV but it's otherwise by no means the high point of the G1 comic run. Having said that, the G1 comics were pretty successful. Originally slated to be just a four issue limited series it spanned for 80 issues in the US run - something Marvel pointed out with the caption on the top of US#80's front cover.

#1 in a Four Issue Limited Series

#80 in a Four Issue Limited Series

Toy-accurate art (US)--><--Toy-accurate art (UK)

The premise is that two groups of 'robots' evolve on a faraway planet
and start an eons long war for control of same. This knocks the planet
from its orbit and sends it spinning through our solar system (!)
The goodguy robots send an expedition out to punch a path through the
asteroid belt, where they are ambushed by the badguy robots and all end up
crashing into Earth and being suspended for ages in a volcano. Then they
wake up and start the battle again.

Yeah, I've never been a huge fan of an orbitless Cybertron in the comics. :/ I prefer the G1 cartoon's premise of Cybertron being depleted of energy and thus prompting the Autobots to leave Cybertron in search for more fuel.

"--The AUTOBOTS. Whereas life elsewhere in the cosmos usually evolved
through carbon-bonding, here it was the interaction of naturally
occurring gears levers and pulleys that miraculously brought forth
sentient beings."

Thankfully that's since been retconned by Simon Furman. Primus FTW!

In addition, both sides go through incredibly bad sequences to establish
the identity of each robot in the worst 'of course you know..' manner,
and there are gaping holes in even elementary plot logic.

Heh... that's true. They basically had to introduce the entire 1984 toy line in a single issue. I suspect that was under direction from Hasbro. The Rebirth Part 1 also suffered from the same thing.

First has been accusing Marvel of what ammounts to dumping. I cannot
think of any other reason for this comic to exist,and admit to being
mystified about its intended audience (esp given the price).

...and by the end of that year the Transformers had become the highest grossing debut toy line in history.

(P.S. This is Sky Shadow again. With comics now at $3.99 I'm most amused by the fact that the reviewer was disgusted by the 75c pricetag!)

Compare 75c in 1984 with $3.99 in 2008 though... anyone know how much petrol was per litre in 1984?

[Sky Shadow]

Compare 75c in 1984 with $3.99 in 2008 though... anyone know how much petrol was per litre in 1984?

Rich Johnson (or one of his lackeys) did the maths - from an inflation-since-1977 POV, at most comics should be around $1.50 by now:

http://www.comicbookresources.com/?p...ticle&id=18583

[GoktimusPrime]

I remember paying $1.70 for G1 comics around 1990/1. Hrmmm... I do agree that comic book are horrendously overpriced here.

[Paulbot]

Transformers was more expensive than the average Marvel comic at the same time (not by much though).

[Sky Shadow]

Transformers was more expensive than the average Marvel comic at the same time.

Yes... by a whopping fifteen US cents!

[Paulbot]

Still made it a 'premium' comic at the time so I can understand the reviewer expecting more from it.

[Sky Shadow]

Still made it a 'premium' comic at the time so I can understand the reviewer expecting more from it.

What?

"Please, sir... I want some more?"

More?

More than the first-ever exploration of the Transformers' mythology? More than the first appearance of the entire 1984 toyline, The Ark, Cybertron, Buster, Sparkplug, Jessie and 'O'?

Ted Nolan, Ted Nolan, never before has a boy wanted...

(No, I don't know what my point is anymore. Sometimes even I think I'm weird.)

[FFN]

Hey, you found that on the TF wiki's Transformers timeline article, didn't you?

http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Transformers_timeline

"Henshin Sentai Transformers" ("Transformation Squadron Transformers") sounds remarkably redundant in english.

[GoktimusPrime]

"The first title we came up with was Henshin Sentai Transformer ("Transformation Battle Squad Transformers"); it was very direct, but in my opinion it had a very weak impact, so it became Tatakae! Chou Robot Seimeitai Transformer ("Fight! Super Robot Life-form Transformers")." - Ono Koujin (Takara)