The Parenting Thread

[Sharky]

This thing is he's only interested in games. We've brought him Halo novels and other things that relate to the video games and he'll read 2 pages and thats it. Money not well spent. I've tried engaging him in other things But when we're outside he just complains about being bored or plays for a bit then bails.
I limit my play time when i'm around him. I spend more time doing things like work and study etc then i do with the fun stuff. I'm trying to let him see that the fun stuff is ok as long as the real work gets done first.
I know he can read cause he's read with me before.

my Sister had a similar problem with the nephew. the xbox and technology went bye bye...now he plays sports and all that sort of stuff and has his xbox back but then every case is different i guess

[LordCyrusOmega]

I think thats whats going to happen in the end. Just put a ban on all the digital stuff.

[Bartrim]

I think thats whats going to happen in the end. Just put a ban on all the digital stuff.

Thats what we had to do. My 3 year old would just there and watch DVDs all day. So we only allow a set time to watch DVD's. It worked for us. Now he is back into reading and playing with his toys and going to the park etc. Plus he is very excited that we are getting a pool.

[SamLoi888]

I think thats whats going to happen in the end. Just put a ban on all the digital stuff.

Don't waste time. Do it now. You're failing the child as long as you allow this useless behaviour to continue.

[Saintly]

I have a 10 year old boy (not actually my son, my Gf's who i help with) who does nothing but play X-box and watch tv. I've tried to get him involved in other things but he just doesn't want to. He's taken a liking to my TF's so i showed him some of my comics and books but he refuses to read. He has a brain but doesn't want to use it. Are we seeing a pattern here?

What can i do to get him interested in other things and reading? I've seen where spending all you time on video games and tv gets you and i want so much more for him.

Banning the digital age is the way to go and while you do that, what kind of games does he play on the xbox? Are we refering to shooting, puzzle, rpgs, etc?

You can substitute these with physical interest... ie. Shooting -> get a couple of nerf or buzzbee guns. Puzzle -> riddles or maybe try Lego Creationary (board game). RPGs -> story roleplay with dice (D&D style)

I too have a 10yr old and has limited console gaming to weekend only for a couple of hours strictly. He plays with his Legos, Transformers, Nerf, his 4yr old brother and rides his pushbike when he can't play on the consoles.

In terms of reading books, I let my 10 yr old pick the books HE wants to read and I just have to make sure there's at least 10 sentences in the book before buying them. A good place for books (or magazines or comics) is the local library, get a feel of what he picks out, see if it gets read.

[jazzcomp]

I think thats whats going to happen in the end. Just put a ban on all the digital stuff.

Thats what we had to do. My 3 year old would just there and watch DVDs all day. So we only allow a set time to watch DVD's. It worked for us. Now he is back into reading and playing with his toys and going to the park etc. Plus he is very excited that we are getting a pool.

Banning the digital age is the way to go and while you do that, what kind of games does he play on the xbox? Are we refering to shooting, puzzle, rpgs, etc?

You can substitute these with physical interest... ie. Shooting -> get a couple of nerf or buzzbee guns. Puzzle -> riddles or maybe try Lego Creationary (board game). RPGs -> story roleplay with dice (D&D style)

I too have a 10yr old and has limited console gaming to weekend only for a couple of hours strictly. He plays with his Legos, Transformers, Nerf, his 4yr old brother and rides his pushbike when he can't play on the consoles.

In terms of reading books, I let my 10 yr old pick the books HE wants to read and I just have to make sure there's at least 10 sentences in the book before buying them. A good place for books is the local library, get a feel of what he picks out, see if it gets read.

At least the younger kids aren't in school yet. But yeah I agree to this. my son doesn't want to go out and quite grumpy when he does because he can't play with his console. he always asks when are we gonna go home.

[SamLoi888]

I too have a 10yr old and has limited console gaming to weekend only for a couple of hours strictly.

That's an intelligent way to go.

[Saintly]

That's an intelligent way to go.

Yes it is, and he gets bonus time (an hour max.) on the consoles if he has done all his schoolwork by Saturday afternoon or completed certain milestones.

[GoktimusPrime]

Another suggestion is perhaps to use the games as a reward. For example, if he can play so many hours of sport (with satisfactory effort) and read so many pages of a book, then he can earn so many hours of gameplay. Maybe use a points system, e.g. reward him with so many points for every hour of sport played or pages of a book read.

You may need to confiscate the controllers or power cord and keep them hidden and only give him access to them when he has earnt enough points to play his games. Likewise any negative behaviour would result in points being deducted.

He has a brain but doesn't want to use it. Are we seeing a pattern here?

Yes, I see this every day. (-_-) So many kids with potential but too lazy to do anything about it. Likewise there are a lot of kids who aren't that bright, but they achieve a lot just through a lot of effort and hard work. I much prefer having hardworking students of average intelligence than lazy gifted/talented students.

But yeah, they say you can attract more ants with honey instead of vinegar - so try some kind of reward system. Let him know if he wants his privileges (and playing computer games is absolutely a privilege, not a right), then he has to earn them. Also teaches the value of working to get what you want. It also teaches that there are consequences for his actions - both positive and negative, and it's entirely up to him whether or not he wants the positive consequence (game access) or not. If he refuses to read or get active, don't get mad - just say something like, "If you can earn X points then we'll let you play your games, but if you don't then you can't. It's all up to you mate, I'm not gonna force you." --- by letting the child know that he actually has a choice it actually makes him feel empowered and in control of his destiny; which most kids respond to positively. (re: choice-control reality therapy)

[LordCyrusOmega]

Thanks for the tips peoples. Much appreciated.
Gonna start making it a reward system rather then an everyday thing using his marks, chores and constructive activities.
He doesn't like it but he'll get use to it.