The Parenting Thread

[roller]

such thinking...can only lead to the Dark side of the force

[Vector Sigma 13]

Ahhh if only it was that easy....

[GoktimusPrime]

When it comes to behaviour management with students (and even my cat) - I find that being very persistent helps. You gotta be consistent too. If something is against your rule, then it's always against the rules - no exceptions. As Ultra Magnus says, "Consistency is the key to victory."

Yeah... last time I had a student teacher I told her to read "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. She laughed at the suggestion but later took my advice and found it quite useful.

I have all these theories about parenting, much of which is based on my experience in teaching, but of course, none of it from actual parenting experience (since I'm not a parent yet). Time will tell if I'll stick with my current theories or completely change them. In my graduate paper I spoke against streamlining classes and selective schooling - but since I started actually teaching I've done a complete 180 and I now support those things. So it's possible that I might do a 180 on some of my parenting theories too... I won't know until I become a parent of course. As Kup says, "Experience lad, you should learn to appreciate it."

Everything in life you can learn from Transformers.

[liegeprime]

1. Always have a box of gloves and rediwipes... man, it's quite unsanitary cleaning poopies with bare hands yah know.

2. Dont whack a kid in the wrong just anywhere - ONLY in the buttocks, have them lie face down and give one smack at the buttocks, doesnt have to be strong whack, just very AUDIBLE one - THIS works more of a psychological effect not a physical one, THEN after the whack ask them why they got a smack, let them answer dont feed the answers, this way THEY know what they did was wrong. Start early not when their like 5-6 yrs old, by these age as the old Filo saying " the bones have already set" - wont make much of a difference no matter how you whack sense into them.

3. Give your children boundaries, otherwise they will just continue to test your limits and if you always just give in, that's no discipline AT ALL. YOU as parents WILL PAY for this in the future.... either by being disgraced or by having to live with uncontrollable self centered SOBs

4. Watch what your kids are watching and eating.....

5. Always let them know who's the boss - if youve been watching supernanny - no matter how she explains it, it boils down to that. The kids are out of control coz the supposed bosses ( parents) of the house are manipulated always to give in to the mewlings of the kids, uh uh. Clearly define what their role is and what your role is in the household. This also works with dogs and other sociable pets ( except fish for obvious reasons)

6. Understand that there is a "no" period in childhood - around ages terrible two and troublesome three. This is a normal phase of children learning to assert themselves so Dont overdo it by giving them a whack and saying "bad boy" to everytime, learn to differentiate which "NO" is valid and which one if left uncheck will lead to having a juvie in the future - stop saying/thinking as well "aww isnt that cute, he/she's saying NO" - that's a little monster in the making if left unchecked.


Disclaimer:
I for one am NOT a parent and have no intention ATM of being one. But these tidbits of info are gleaned from aunts/uncles and my mom so I know it works. If it was ever just me, my discipline would involve a rope and a heavy rock and a boat in the middle of sydney harbor ----"So you don't wanna eat your veggies ei? Throw a tantrum and embarrass me in front of everyone in the department store ei? Sayonara baby - we can always make another one its the fun part anyway" I certainly have "NOOOOO" patience and tolerance for kids.

edit: added a crucial word in the last sentence

[GoktimusPrime]

1. Always have a box of gloves and rediwipes... man, it's quite unsanitary cleaning poopies with bare hands yah know.

Bah! That's a woman's job! <chauvanistic.chortle.with.pipe.in.hand>

2. Dont whack a kid in the wrong just anywhere - ONLY in the buttocks, have them lie face down and give one smack at the buttocks, doesnt have to be strong whack, just very AUDIBLE one - THIS works more of a psychological effect not a physical one, THEN after the whack ask them why they got a smack, let them answer dont feed the answers, this way THEY know what they did was wrong. Start early not when their like 5-6 yrs old, by these age as the old Filo saying " the bones have already set" - wont make much of a difference no matter how you whack sense into them.

Yeah - that's part of choice reality therapy. Rather than saying, "Don't do that! That's bad!" you ask them, "Why do you think that might not be a good thing to do?" "How could you do it better next time?" etc. It also elicits them to think about their actions rather than have you dictate to them what they can and cannot do all the time. It also helps them understand why your rules exist.

3. Give your children boundaries, otherwise they will just continue to test your limits and if you always just give in, that's no discipline AT ALL. YOU as parents WILL PAY for this in the future.... either by being disgraced or by having to live with uncontrollable self centered SOBs

Absolutely. And children actually like boundaries really. Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.

4. Watch what your kids are watching and eating.....

I agree. Our computers are in the lounge room which is where I intend to keep them. No way would I allow them to have computers in their bedrooms.

5. Always let them know who's the boss - if youve been watching supernanny - no matter how she explains it, it boils down to that. The kids are out of control coz the supposed bosses ( parents) of the house are manipulated always to give in to the mewlings of the kids, uh uh. Clearly define what their role is and what your role is in the household. This also works with dogs and other sociable pets ( except fish for obvious reasons)

Supernanny's great - another great example of choice reality in action. She always makes the kids know that there are always consequences for their actions. Good deeds are rewarded (e.g.: praise, awards, points etc.) and bad deeds are punished (e.g.: time-outs ("naughty corner")). She's fantastic. And it's always interesting watching her work with the same children as their parents - kids who are absolute devils whom she quickly turns around into angels - all from teaching them this thing called responsibility!

6. Understand that there is a "no" period in childhood - around ages terrible two and troublesome three. This is a normal phase of children learning to assert themselves so Dont overdo it by giving them a whack and saying "bad boy" to everytime, learn to differentiate which "NO" is valid and which one if left uncheck will lead to having a juvie in the future - stop saying/thinking as well "aww isnt that cute, he/she's saying NO" - that's a little monster in the making if left unchecked.

Those are acts of direct and open defiance and insolence. Absolutely no way for a child to talk to an adult. Part of the Positive Behaviour Learning programme (based on Glasser Choice Reality theory) that a lot of schools are implementing now emphasises the use of positive cues rather than negative ones (e.g.: saying "No!"). So instead of saying, "No running!" when kids bolt past me in the corridor I say, "Walking!" - still in a loud stern voice, but I'm not using a negative cue. It's not always possible at all times (because often we are reprimanding children spontaneously and unscripted) - but yeah, it's good to try and avoid being too negative in correcting kids as they pick it up and will turn it back on you.

"So you don't wanna eat your veggies ei? Throw a tantrum and embarrass me in front of everyone in the department store ei? Sayonara baby - we can always make another one its the fun part anyway" I certainly have patience and tolerance for kids.

Or do what that mother did in that TV commercial and have a bigger tantrum on the supermarket floor! I loved that "What'choo got?!" look she gave to the kid too when she finished.

[roller]

i can smell hormones in this thread

parental hormones!

[Lambert29]

I've heard that it is better to teach your kid one language during his/her to avoid confusion on his/her part, which language will he/she needs to use. Then you can eventually teach them another language when they reach the age when they can already process things easily. Around 8 years old or above maybe.

[blackoptimus]

Curious to know, is it legal to have a kid at 16?

[GoktimusPrime]

I've added a poll to this thread to see what the gender distribution of our kids is like.
To clarify...
Boy(s) = you only have a boy or all your kids are boys
Girl(s) = you only have a girl or all your kids are girls
Both (even) = you have an even number of boy(s) and girl(s)
More boys = you have more boys than girls (e.g. 2 girls, 1 boy)
More girls = you have more girls than boys (e.g. 2 boys, 1 girl)



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P.S.: A few days ago my daughter kept asking me what "suffer" means. I thought it was quite strange that a preschooler would even know this word. I asked her what she thought it meant, but she said she didn't know and kept on asking me. I eventually realised that she was asking me what "ça va?" means! (there are French kids in our neighbourhood that she sometimes plays with, so it seems that she's picking up some Français from them) -- ouh la la!

[MayzaPrime]

I have 3 boys and 1 girl

5,4,3 and 1 in that order