Funny Quotes Thread

[1AZRAEL1]

Anything from Monty Python is awesome.

A personal favourite to cheer me up is from Fawlty Towers when Basil is showing an annoying woman her room and she said that the room is supposed to have an ocean to view and she wants to know where it is.

"You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky!"

And from that same episode where she hits her head on the shelf, Basil picks up a piece of lint and says "Is this a piece of your brain?" Watery Fowls is a great show with alot of memorable quotes lol. The German episode seems to spring to mind...

Come to think of it, alot of the funny quotes I can come up with are from old British humor. Goodies, Young Ones, Python, all greats.

Oh a great one from The Pink Panther Strikes Again

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Hotel Clerk: No.
Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie.
[dog bites Clouseau's hand]
Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

Mrs. Leverlilly: You've ruined that piano!
Clouseau: What is the price of one piano compared to the terrible crime that's been committed here?
Mrs. Leverlilly: But that's a priceless Steinway!
Clouseau: Not anymore!

Francois: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?
Clouseau: The exploding kind.

[Tetsuwan Convoy]

Major Lols!

I love Monty Python! The Holy grail is a classic! I really love the way the peasents in the discussion with the king are just diggin around in the mud as part of what they do.

Aaaaar! good times good times. Gotta dig it out of my DVD collection now and do some watching.

the Goodies is on Monday Nights, ABC2 at 8.05pm, before Good Game if anybody wants a trip down memory lane. I particularly like the Scones vs Scones episode. (phonetically Scoans vs Scons) Brilliant!

[Bartrim]

Anything from Monty Python is awesome.



And from that same episode where she hits her head on the shelf, Basil picks up a piece of lint and says "Is this a piece of your brain?" Watery Fowls is a great show with alot of memorable quotes lol. The German episode seems to spring to mind...

LOL. I love that "piece of your brain" line. Also when she is trying to find her glasses and they are on her head but she has her hearing aid turned off. Basil's frustration at trying to tell her is priceless.

Ah the German episode. Always reminds me of my honeymoon. My wife and I went on a tour that consisted of us and 8 germans. My wife was getting so pissed because I just kept whispering " Listen, don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right."

Also from that episode I love this little bit
Basil: Is there something wrong?
Elder Herr: Will you stop talking about the war?
Basil: Me! You started it!
Elder Herr: We did not start it!
Basil: Yes you did — you invaded Poland

A good website for Fawlty Towers fans
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Fawlty_Towers

All the good lines

[1AZRAEL1]

the Goodies is on Monday Nights, ABC2 at 8.05pm, before Good Game if anybody wants a trip down memory lane. I particularly like the Scones vs Scones episode. (phonetically Scoans vs Scons) Brilliant!

I had noticed that, I only found out last Monday and started to watch it again. One of my favourite episodes would have to be Goodies Rule OK. The one where all the childhood characters like sooty and sweep take over parliament haha. Classic stuff.

Ah the German episode. Always reminds me of my honeymoon. My wife and I went on a tour that consisted of us and 8 germans. My wife was getting so pissed because I just kept whispering " Listen, don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right."

Also from that episode I love this little bit
Basil: Is there something wrong?
Elder Herr: Will you stop talking about the war?
Basil: Me! You started it!
Elder Herr: We did not start it!
Basil: Yes you did — you invaded Poland

All I can say is:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

One of the best lines ever.

[GoktimusPrime]

Some of my favourite Transformer quotes:

"More than meets the eyyyyeee---" - Waspinator (Dark Designs)

"Die-cast construction. It's a lost art." - Optimus Primal (The Agenda, Part 3)

"Yes! Main thrusters connected to Teletron-1!"
"It's Teletraan!"
"Oh whatever."
- Blackarachnia & Rattrap (Nemesis, Part 2)

"You Optimuses do love to sacrifice yourselves, don't you?" - Megatron (Other Voices, Part 2)

"This guy's got bearings of chrome steel." - Rhinox (Beast Wars Part 1)

"You took the driver. Where is it?"
"Gone. Ain't that a kick in the lug-nuts."
Megatron & Depth Charge (Feral Scream Part 1)

"That Pred's about as female as a piston!" - Rattrap (Tangled Web)

"Hey, if you took that broomstick out of your tailpipe every once in a while, you might have some fun for a change!" - Rattrap (The Agenda Part 1)

"I ain't starin' at no hairy cat butt!" - Rattrap (The Probe)

"Yeah? An' you can kiss my skidplate, fearless leader." - Rattrap (Beast Wars Part 1)

"So... the Tripredacus council still smooches the skidplates of the Maximal Elders." - Megatron (The Agenda Part 2)

"Waspinator find spider-bot and tear him a new waste-disposal unit!" - Waspinator (Other Voices Part 1)

"Oh, yeah, yeah, heh heh, scouting the enemy, yeah. Heh heh. Find any new positions?" - Rattrap (The Agenda Part 1)

"Looks like that Pred friend of yours finally did something right."
"Yes, my beloved has... many skills."
- Rattrap & Silverbolt (Changing of the Guard)

""What sheer ruthlessness. What disregard for sentient life! I rather like these aliens." - Megatron (Other Voices Part 2)

"There's a friend of mine, just went to uh, went to get you a tighter shirt."
"There isn't a tighter shirt. We checked."
Sam Witwicky & jocks (Revenge of the Fallen)

"You know how to waterski, Bludgeon? Me neither!"
"AAAAARGH!"
- Seawatch & Bludgeon (Primal Scream)

[SkyWarp91]

LOL, great quotes folks!

Here's one I googled:

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”

This whole site has more!
http://thinkexist.com/quotations/funny/

[SharkyMcShark]

"The problem with this country is women having jobs, immigrants, and David Beckham" - The Football Ramble taking the mick out of England tabloids.

[Bartrim]

Phone rings.

"Moe's Tavern. Home of the worlds smallest large screen T.V"- The Simpsons I.T.A.S