Funny Quotes Thread

[SkyWarp91]

From Transformers the movie my favourite (funniest) quote is.

Kup: This reminds of the battle on Alpha-9, the Petro Rabbits were... Grimlock get your noodle out of my face!
Grimlock: Me Grimlock love Kups war stories.
Kup: Your living one now. Engage the boosters for Cybertrons sake!
Grimlock: Tell Grimlock about Petro Rabbits again
Kup: I'll give you Petro Rabbits

Just saw The Movie again, love that line and love Kup

[GoktimusPrime]

Watching tonight's ep of South Park on Channel 99... they made a parody of the Nintendo Game Cube called the "Okama Game Sphere." Okama is Japanese for that word that got Stephanie Rice in trouble.

[blackie]

the internet, where men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI

[SkyWarp91]

Some quotes from Burn Notice, quite funny:

-----

Fiona: Someone is getting a little flirty for his own good.
Michael: Fi, I am trying to snatch Kendra off the street and tie her to a chair.
Fiona: You're not helping your cause.
Michael: This is just a harmless case of cat and mouse between me and a professional killer.

-----

Chuck: Charles Finlay had a shotgun wedding for the sake of his cover. That's Charlotte, the ol' ball-n-chain.

Fiona: Call me that again and we will have a shotgun divorce.

----

Paul: They use to call it Karate, but I think they have a new word for it now.
Fiona: Foreplay.
Paul: Heellllooo.

---

Michael: (voice-over) 30 years of karate. Combat experience on five continents. A rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds an edge. Still haven't found any defense to Mom crying into my shirt.

[Bartrim]

Just watched the Glimmerman again the other day...

Jack Cole: It's called a mala. Tibetan pray beads.
Detective Jim Campbell: What do you use 'em for?
Jack Cole: I use 'em to calm my mind and to purify my thoughts.
Detective Jim Campbell: Yeah, I use Jack Daniels!
Jack Cole: See now, we're trying to go to same place. We're just using different technique.
Detective Jim Campbell: Except I don't wear the bottle around my neck!
Jack Cole: That's because you'd lose your job if you did...

[5FDP]

Glimmerman = awesome

"You know, when you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I think you're probably happy. Pleased at what you see. And that disturbs me. So I'm gonna take it on as my responsibility to make sure that you never get to look in the mirror again."

[Paul Agnew]

A running-gag from the RFC TFTM parody that always brings a smile to my face:

Brawn: Megatron! Decepticons!
Megatron: So, Brawn. Did you think I forgot the time that you shot me with my own fusion cannon, and I said I would get you back? Well now it's time!
Brawn: Oh yeah?
Megatron: Yeah.
Brawn: Oh yeah?
Megatron: Yeah.
Brawn: Oh yeah?
Megatron: Yeah!
(Megatron transforms to gun mode and promptly shoots him. He transforms to robot mode)
Megatron: That was too easy, Starscream.
Brawn: Oh Yeah?
Megatron: You're dead, Brawn!
Brawn: 'Tis but a scratch.
Megatron: A scratch? Your shoulder's gone!
Brawn: No it isn't.
Megatron: Look!
Brawn: I've had worse.
Megatron: You liar!
(Megatron transforms to gun mode and promptly shoots him again. He transforms to robot mode)
Megatron: Well, that's done. Now, onto--
Brawn: Oh Yeah?
Megatron: Don't give me this garbage.
(Megatron transforms to gun mode and promptly shoots him repetitively. He transforms to robot mode. Moments later he transforms to gun mode AGAIN and delivers another devastating round. He transforms to robot mode)
Megatron: *There*. Sheesh, he was a tough little guy, wasn't he? That was a lot harder than I thought it'd be.
Starscream: Much harder, almighty Megatron, than attacking the real threat: the Autobots' moonbase!
Megatron: You're an idiot, Starscream. When... hold on! The other Autobots! Where are they, anyway?
Starscream: It looks like they abandoned ship. They survived.
Megatron: It is no matter. When we slip by their early warning systems in their own shuttle and destroy Autobot City, the Autobots will be vanquished forever!
Brawn: Oh Yeah?
Megatron: NOOOOOOO!