The Story So Far...
Super Happy Continual G1 Story
Author: Ozformers Collective
Chapter 1
Wheeljack stared at his latest and, erm well possibly (not likely) greatest creation and wished he could cry at his sheer genius. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to see who he could piss off with his stupid creation first.
"Perfect..." he whispered to himself as he saw Bumblebee.
"HOLY SH#*! WHAT THE F$*# IS THAT?!" screeched Bumblebee scrambling back towards the door. Wheeljack was too quick however and locked down the room trapping poor Bumblebee. He began to cackle his head off.
"Bumblebee! Meet my newest creation. It's Wheelie's mum!"
AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" screeched Bumblebee clawing at his eyes. Wheeljack began to play Tetris to further the advancement of Erectors namesake.
Prime walked in on hearing the commotion and was so surprised at what he saw, he ate whales which he ordered from Japan but then he mistaked Gok in cosplay and ate him instead. Burp.
Then half an hour later...... or was that chinese food, bah who cares........
Vicariously spelunking he ebbed sideways to the shore with his swag of loot and felt discombobulated and underhanded, as he dealt Wheelie's mum a back hand to her handbag, from which fell a Fortress Maximus which tore a massive plot hole in the universe.
Meanwhile, Megatron publicly admitted that he was totally, and 100% fond of fondling really, really old lemonade flavoured brass monkeys.
This mind-numbingly sick revelation caused Thundercracker to completely loose his marbles and become Scientologist. Like Blurr on a bender, he swiftly donned his testicle warmers for a bigger advantage in the annual crotch kick-off, where his boyfriend caught a fish wish he gave to Constable Jim.
Constable Jim tried desperately to fit the fish in his brass monkeys.
But - horror! - the brass monkey were already filled with various goodnesses.
Constable Jim became enraged and enunciated his displeasure. Suddenly, a squadron of brass monkeys appeared to fake the death of Wheelie's sister, a femmebot of Constable Jim.
BumbleJumper watched on his pinapple as the spellcheck failed for the Bundesrepublik Australiana.
Thundercracker & Skywarp were sipping suspiciously effeminate coconut tea while discussing Rennaisance sculpture.
LOL "oh... this is good", squealed Thrust while flatulently break dancing around Slugfest's lower colon.
With a rending tear, Slugfest exploded causing massive amounts of soylent green along with its even less pleasant by-product to render Stalker the Mardi Gras tank of the tf world to Bronwyn Bishop's bondage fetish with seahorses.
Meanwhile Thundercracker and Scowl and Time Warrior wrestled erotically in Energon custard, flavoured with braaaiiiinnsss... Such a vile concoction led to the creation of bronze monkeys.
This caused the Brass monkeys much social pain as they were deemed obsolete. They united together into one massive army and started the second Rennaissance, combining to form gigantic super-robot gestalt Apeshit.
With slow menace, he revelaed his weapon, a long glowing over-glazed turkey slapper. Suddenly war were declared and Constable Jim called ME! I then procrastinated flatulently over dinner while discussing discreet maths.
Meanwhile, on planet Nimrod ben whanted to correct his spelling and punctuations but instead he won by forming the giant robot Monorator!
"Grrrrrrrrrrrr", he poklaimed while devastating the puny Interweb boards of hetripoo and committing mnemocide of the english language. The dictionary began to cry and commit seppaku but geo-political relations fluffed forever into darkness next to prevailing modalities of verbosity!
"Primus' Scrotum", shouted Grimlock, while pointing at the two colossal round energon sacs that glistened with leaking energon fuel cell liquid with Slurm(TM).
"It's gunna rain," whined Weatherbot.
"Me Grimlock say you Weatherbot really hot. Me Grimlock want Twinkies!"
But Twinkies was unavailable that day, as she was having her chassis reamed. Or so she said because, in reality, the reaming was cancelled.
This subterfuge was because Twinkies could not bear for Grimlock to know the terrible truth, that she voted Howard.
Springer was spying from the bushes thinking, " How effing typical!"
He broke into spontaneous dance. Onlookers watched and began violently playing Monopoly. Springer then vigorously ransacked his dignity with dignified vigourosity until Constable Jim's sister went downstairs in the literal sense of course... Not, the uh, other kind and blew out the candles on his birthday cake... Nothing more.
Then quietly slipped away into the night.
Star Saber found himself wishing his cake was bigger.
Many clerics brought energon chips and electron coolers for great hopes that at the Transformers convention, they would be able to party like it was 1999. Verily, it became like unto a place of worship and decadence until the small hours of the morning, when Seaspray arrived to spray some pole dancers with warm milky sea, which contained many sea men working on the poop deck of Broadside who capsized when Constable Jim decided to become famous.
Hugh Jackman slapped Howard playfully on the hinie with a giant, flaccid cucumber from Cuba. Che Guevera Aka Pipes, tinea problem had reached critical mass explosive power times infinity!!!!!!!
Suddenly the universe imploded at the same time Megatron was dealing with intense diarrhea; embarrasing.
The Chipmunks made a live action movie, Ew, which Slamdance and Britney played Nintendo Monopoly in.
Britney & Swindle little Barbie doll house for no apparent reason, reminded everybody who is currently a leading role in this story that Wheelie's mum is still on the loose. They realised they must brave the perils of the plot hole from page 2.
Raising theire respective, electron guns, gamma blast rifles, pitchforks and torches they blew the plot hole into a bigger hole so that everyone could fit into it. Then, they sang karaoke until Wheelie grew into his socks.
END OF CHAPTER 1
To be Continued...
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Originally Posted by iceburn
