Bay to do TMNT

[Sky Shadow]

I do wonder how he could come out and say something so totally stupid about a very popular series that explains exactly what you get in the brand name!

Well Mr Bay did make three 'Transformers' movies that could have easily been called 'Humans'. And the one called 'Dark of the Moon' didn't seem 100% sure if it was about the dark side of the moon or the far side of the moon. (The far side is a constant; the dark is not.) So it is not too surprising that he could make a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film without mutants. Or turtles. Or teenagers. But I can guarantee that there will be ninjas.

[Robzy]

Someone missed the joke entirely and got their panties in a knot for no good reason..

Don't worry... some of us got the joke!!

I don't even think about Bay ruining childhoods and all that tripe, but I do wonder how he could come out and say something so totally stupid about a very popular series that explains exactly what you get in the brand name!

Yeah, exactly. Bay is not ruining the past ("our childhoods") he's ruining the present by trying to control popular franchises that he has no understanding of. He loves turning Gold in to Lead! He's like the George W Bush of Film Directors. Every time he opens his mouth he says something stupid. Every time he takes on a franchise, he just can't comprehend what's actually good about it.

So, yeah... I'm p!ssed that *it appears* Bay is gonna ruin yet another one of my beloved franchises, simply by just not 'getting it'!

[kup]

Oh well maybe if you added one of these fellows I would known you were joking. Oh FYI I don't wear underwear.

Have you seen the first Terminator movie? The joke is from a line in that movie, I thought everyone had seen Terminator 1 so I figured no further explanation was needed. Also Doubledealer clearly understood it and his post was also a hint.

Don't worry... some of us got the joke!!

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

FFS Did Michael Bay molest you as a child? Did he sneak into your house at night and kill your parents while you watched? Did he swindle your parents of all their money and forced to grow up on the street? If the answer to the above 3 questions is no then MICHAEL BAY DID NOT RUIN OR KILL YOUR CHILDHOOD!!!!. You like the old cartoons, fine go and watch them. It's what I do. Since I own the G1 collection I have lost count of how many times I have watched theMore then meets the Eye 3 part episode. Michael bay is not going to change the way he makes movies. If you don't like them then don't watch them and do us all a favour a STFU

Who told you?! My psychiatrist said all that stuff was strictly confidential!

Seriously, I'm not one of the 'ruined/raped my childhood' crowd and will quite happily ignore the most of the Bay offerings along with Beast Machines and anything else that doesn't take my fancy, but this is a TF board and it's perfectly legitimate to vent about franchises we like getting redone in a pretty shoddy (IMO) way. I'm not a massive Turtles fan so I don't really care, but it is kinda lame to do Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles without them being ninjas, mutants, or turtles (and even teenagers is kinda iffy).

However, this is a thread for giving the Bay treatment to inappropriate movies/franchises as opposed to a 'Michael Bay Raped Donatello' b!tchfest, so please, people - can we have some more Bay-ised movie ideas as well as the griping?

[Bartrim]

Have you seen the first Terminator movie? The joke is from a line in that movie, I thought everyone had seen Terminator 1 so I figured no further explanation was needed. Also Doubledealer clearly understood it and his post was also a hint.

But you can understand how it could easily be confused with gee-whun fanboy rantage too right?

[kup]

But you can understand how it could easily be confused with gee-whun fanboy rantage too right?

Not really since I got another form of unwarranted over the top fanboy rage in return but anyways, let's move on.

[Demonac]

But I can guarantee that there will be ninjas.

No you can't. They'll probably be samurai.

[kup]

No you can't. They'll probably be samurai.

I will go with US military recruited Turtles - Someone needs to be there to wave the flag or it's not a Bay movie.

Teenage Alien Marine Turtles.

They will also not eat Pizza anymore because that's not American enough, they'll be eating Hamburgers.

Personalities:

Splinter - An alien Kangaroo that only speaks 'inspirational quotes' and rips off people's faces.

Leonardo - A young marine with a wife and baby in their alien home.

Donatello - A stereo type fat geek who leaves in the basement (of the space ship) that can do magical things with computers like causing a tree to fall over by injecting it with a computer virus. His brothers make fan of him because he is such a nerd and nobody likes nerds unless it's for comedy relief.

Raphael - A Turtle with a gangsta attitude and always wants to 'cap some bitches'.

Michaelangelo - A hippy Turtle who always acts high and gets excited when he hears people talking about pot for comedy value.

Sam Jones (loosely based on Casey Jones) - A geeky kid who thinks himself as a sports enthusiast, the main protagonist. About 75% of movie revolves around him trying to score with next door girl May O'Neil.

May O'Neil - A girl who is only there for the mandatory soft porn shots and may have a line or two (purely optional). Sam's love interest.

Plot: Much of the movie will be about Sam finding all forms of hilarious ways to score with May. The Turtles then show up from space in an epic introductory scene and then fall into the background until the final battle where they can fight in the background while the camera focuses on Sam and May's butt.



You know what? This could actually happen!!

[Paulbot]

He's a nerdy new recruit in the army, a laughing stock who has no luck with the ladies, with his eye on a fellow recruit, the too beautiful for the army daughter of the tough army base general. During overnight training exercise in the woods, a series of huge explosions(tm) seperates him from his fellow troops and stumbles upon a shack by a spooky grey skull shaped cave, in which an old woman in a red cloak with an O on it, lives with her odd green housecat, and is drawn to a mysterious sword she's protecting. Strange powers are revealed to him when he holds the sword aloft. Suddenly he's not a nerdy kid anymore: he's a man! Adam returns to the battle field, impressing Leela and her father by taking on a tank with his bare hands.

But the activation of the power sword is noticed, and soon the spacecraft of the Master of the Universe, led by the evil Lynn (who wears the skimpiest costume you can imagine) arrive. They've been searching for the sword and now they've tracked it down. Years ago their great leader disappeared while searching for the fabled sword. She sends her hoards of Beast Men down to attack the planet. The army responds but it's a series of brutal battles with the new stronger Adam in the thick of it, maiming and decapitating beast after beast.

The evil Lynn tracks down the old woman's cave by the old grey skull shaped cave and the woman reveals her true stunningly beautifully form, naked by for a few subtle feathers to protect her dignity (skimpier than even Lynn's costume!). The two battle with their magic powers until eventually enough magic has hit the cave, and a skeleton emerges, what's left of the evil true master of the universe. He immediately kills Lynn and uses the overflow of magic to rebuild his form. But it's not enough. His face remains just a skull, but once her kills the sorceress Lynn was fighting, all power will be his. *"Not so fast Skeletor" says the mighty He-Man with Leela, her father and a whole bunch of US Armed Forces behind him, "I will fight you to become the true Master of the Universe!!!"

However, this is a thread for giving the Bay treatment to inappropriate movies/franchises as opposed to a 'Michael Bay Raped Donatello' b!tchfest, so please, people - can we have some more Bay-ised movie ideas as well as the griping?

sorry my bad, just seemed like Bay was playing along himself.

[kup]

He's a nerdy new recruit in the army, a laughing stock who has no luck with the ladies, with his eye on a fellow recruit, the too beautiful for the army daughter of the tough army base general. During overnight training exercise in the woods, a series of huge explosions(tm) seperates him from his fellow troops and stumbles upon a shack by a spooky grey skull shaped cave, in which an old woman in a red cloak with an O on it, lives with her odd green housecat, and is drawn to a mysterious sword she's protecting. Strange powers are revealed to him when he holds the sword aloft. Suddenly he's not a nerdy kid anymore: he's a man! Adam returns to the battle field, impressing Leela and her father by taking on a tank with his bare hands.

But the activation of the power sword is noticed, and soon the spacecraft of the Master of the Universe, led by the evil Lynn (who wears the skimpiest costume you can imagine) arrive. They've been searching for the sword and now they've tracked it down. Years ago their great leader disappeared while searching for the fabled sword. She sends her hoards of Beast Men down to attack the planet. The army responds but it's a series of brutal battles with the new stronger Adam in the thick of it, maiming and decapitating beast after beast.

The evil Lynn tracks down the old woman's cave by the old grey skull shaped cave and the woman reveals her true stunningly beautifully form, naked by for a few subtle feathers to protect her dignity (skimpier than even Lynn's costume!). The two battle with their magic powers until eventually enough magic has hit the cave, and a skeleton emerges, what's left of the evil true master of the universe. He immediately kills Lynn and uses the overflow of magic to rebuild his form. But it's not enough. His face remains just a skull, but once her kills the sorceress Lynn was fighting, all power will be his. *"Not so fast Skeletor" says the mighty He-Man with Leela, her father and a whole bunch of US Armed Forces behind him, "I will fight you to become the true Master of the Universe!!!"



sorry my bad, just seemed like Bay was playing along himself.

Sorry Paulbot but your 'Bay of the Universe' plot fails because it actually has a plot with too much coherence thrown in

Also not enough explosions