The Parenting Thread

[GoktimusPrime]

This thread is for the discussion of parenting; to pool together the collective knowledge and experience of members who are already parents and perhaps assist those of us who are aspiring to become parents in the future.

The following is an article from "Sydney's Free Child", a free magazine for parents published by Web Child.

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In Other Words

Many parents in Australia are raising their children to speak two or more languages, writes Klay Lamprell.

Dinner conversation att he Soave household could be a little confusing if you only speak English. Italian-born Alex Soave and her German-born husband Alexander are raising their children, Leon, Oliver and Penelope, to be trilingual. "I only ever speak Italian to them and Alexander only ever speaks German. The children speak all three languages to each other, depending on the situation."

Alex says that she and Alexander used the languages of their different heritages from birth with their children, now aged six, four and two. "We want our children to speak easily with their family overseas, some of whom don't speak English, and we want them to be culturally aware."

According to British linguist David Graddol, parents who raise their children to be multilingual are not only teaching cultural sensitivity, they are also providing an employment advantage. In his comprehensive report on the future of the English language, English Next, Graddol says that the majority of the world's population is already multilingual. Speaking English and at least one other language is fast becoming the norm. He comments that young people in countries like Australia, whose educational system does not strongly promote multilingual fluency, "face a bleak economic future."

Multilingualism advocate Professor Michael Clyne, author of Australia's Language Potential, says that in addition to employment opportunities, numerous studies point to the cognitive benefits of raising children to be multilingual. "Children who develop more than one language early develop an extended range of ways of understanding language," comments Clyne. "They are more versed in the principles of language and ultimately may do better in English than monolingual children."

Clyne, who was born and raised bilingually in Australia and raised his child to be bilingual, says that monolingual children and bilingual children develop different ways of understanding representational symbols. "If you ask bilingual four to six year olds whether you could call a dog a cow, tehy are likely to think, 'There could be another language in which a dog is called a cow.' Monolingual children will tend to think it is just a silly idea. Bilingual children, when they can't express something in one language, switch to the other language, so they become more divergent thinkers.

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Alex and Alexander are essentially practising a method of raising children multilingually known as "une-personne; une langue" ("one person, one language") system as per the studies of Maurice Grammont and Jules Ronjat (Reference). I've personally seen it work with some parents and their kids. My wife and I have discussed how we could apply this theory to raise our own future child(ren?) trilingually.

[roller]

The Prof. Roller Academy of parenting and social engineering says on their homepage:


"if your going to be naughty your gonna get whacked!"

its worked for the past 2000+ years, you gotta teach em discipline boy!

None of this namby pamby negotiations or bribes of sweets

1. teach your kids another language young, dont deprive them of being excluded in the playground gangs, if you dont speak the lingo, your out!

2. Make sure your kid knows everything about modern technology, if not, little Timmy wont be a successful lawyer,politician,business tycoon

3.Even if your kid is in the wrong, stand by them and claim that by saying otherwise is an affront to your parenting skills, then they'll let joey off and issue you an apology

4. Being bossman No.1 is crucial in this era. Hold the most extravagant birthday party-doesn't matter if there only 2 yrs old, you will wow the other parents and may eventually be permitted into the country club.

Finally, always mix with the right crowd

oh, and get your in laws to help. this way you avoid changing smelly nappies-this enables you more time to play with TFs

[Saintly]

bi-lingual if possible.

have the in-laws or parents nearby. the quality of childcare is detoriating.

was talking to a friend's wife. she had started toilet training once she came back from the hospital her daughter. make those sounds. some babies are naturally talented that way. she said she is a bad mother.

men, be prepare to do the night-shift if bottle-fed. may get away with 1 feed during the night if you time it well.

the first sh-t always smells the worst!

[GoktimusPrime]

The Prof. Roller Academy of parenting and social engineering says on their homepage:


"if your going to be naughty your gonna get whacked!"

its worked for the past 2000+ years, you gotta teach em discipline boy!

I basically agree with that - though not literally. I'm an advocate of Choice Reality as the basis of behaviour management. It's all about teaching responsibility.

[roller]

such thinking...can only lead to the Dark side of the force

[Vector Sigma 13]

Ahhh if only it was that easy....

[GoktimusPrime]

When it comes to behaviour management with students (and even my cat) - I find that being very persistent helps. You gotta be consistent too. If something is against your rule, then it's always against the rules - no exceptions. As Ultra Magnus says, "Consistency is the key to victory."

Yeah... last time I had a student teacher I told her to read "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. She laughed at the suggestion but later took my advice and found it quite useful.

I have all these theories about parenting, much of which is based on my experience in teaching, but of course, none of it from actual parenting experience (since I'm not a parent yet). Time will tell if I'll stick with my current theories or completely change them. In my graduate paper I spoke against streamlining classes and selective schooling - but since I started actually teaching I've done a complete 180 and I now support those things. So it's possible that I might do a 180 on some of my parenting theories too... I won't know until I become a parent of course. As Kup says, "Experience lad, you should learn to appreciate it."

Everything in life you can learn from Transformers.

[liegeprime]

1. Always have a box of gloves and rediwipes... man, it's quite unsanitary cleaning poopies with bare hands yah know.

2. Dont whack a kid in the wrong just anywhere - ONLY in the buttocks, have them lie face down and give one smack at the buttocks, doesnt have to be strong whack, just very AUDIBLE one - THIS works more of a psychological effect not a physical one, THEN after the whack ask them why they got a smack, let them answer dont feed the answers, this way THEY know what they did was wrong. Start early not when their like 5-6 yrs old, by these age as the old Filo saying " the bones have already set" - wont make much of a difference no matter how you whack sense into them.

3. Give your children boundaries, otherwise they will just continue to test your limits and if you always just give in, that's no discipline AT ALL. YOU as parents WILL PAY for this in the future.... either by being disgraced or by having to live with uncontrollable self centered SOBs

4. Watch what your kids are watching and eating.....

5. Always let them know who's the boss - if youve been watching supernanny - no matter how she explains it, it boils down to that. The kids are out of control coz the supposed bosses ( parents) of the house are manipulated always to give in to the mewlings of the kids, uh uh. Clearly define what their role is and what your role is in the household. This also works with dogs and other sociable pets ( except fish for obvious reasons)

6. Understand that there is a "no" period in childhood - around ages terrible two and troublesome three. This is a normal phase of children learning to assert themselves so Dont overdo it by giving them a whack and saying "bad boy" to everytime, learn to differentiate which "NO" is valid and which one if left uncheck will lead to having a juvie in the future - stop saying/thinking as well "aww isnt that cute, he/she's saying NO" - that's a little monster in the making if left unchecked.


Disclaimer:
I for one am NOT a parent and have no intention ATM of being one. But these tidbits of info are gleaned from aunts/uncles and my mom so I know it works. If it was ever just me, my discipline would involve a rope and a heavy rock and a boat in the middle of sydney harbor ----"So you don't wanna eat your veggies ei? Throw a tantrum and embarrass me in front of everyone in the department store ei? Sayonara baby - we can always make another one its the fun part anyway" I certainly have "NOOOOO" patience and tolerance for kids.

edit: added a crucial word in the last sentence

[GoktimusPrime]

1. Always have a box of gloves and rediwipes... man, it's quite unsanitary cleaning poopies with bare hands yah know.

Bah! That's a woman's job! <chauvanistic.chortle.with.pipe.in.hand>

2. Dont whack a kid in the wrong just anywhere - ONLY in the buttocks, have them lie face down and give one smack at the buttocks, doesnt have to be strong whack, just very AUDIBLE one - THIS works more of a psychological effect not a physical one, THEN after the whack ask them why they got a smack, let them answer dont feed the answers, this way THEY know what they did was wrong. Start early not when their like 5-6 yrs old, by these age as the old Filo saying " the bones have already set" - wont make much of a difference no matter how you whack sense into them.

Yeah - that's part of choice reality therapy. Rather than saying, "Don't do that! That's bad!" you ask them, "Why do you think that might not be a good thing to do?" "How could you do it better next time?" etc. It also elicits them to think about their actions rather than have you dictate to them what they can and cannot do all the time. It also helps them understand why your rules exist.

3. Give your children boundaries, otherwise they will just continue to test your limits and if you always just give in, that's no discipline AT ALL. YOU as parents WILL PAY for this in the future.... either by being disgraced or by having to live with uncontrollable self centered SOBs

Absolutely. And children actually like boundaries really. Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.

4. Watch what your kids are watching and eating.....

I agree. Our computers are in the lounge room which is where I intend to keep them. No way would I allow them to have computers in their bedrooms.

5. Always let them know who's the boss - if youve been watching supernanny - no matter how she explains it, it boils down to that. The kids are out of control coz the supposed bosses ( parents) of the house are manipulated always to give in to the mewlings of the kids, uh uh. Clearly define what their role is and what your role is in the household. This also works with dogs and other sociable pets ( except fish for obvious reasons)

Supernanny's great - another great example of choice reality in action. She always makes the kids know that there are always consequences for their actions. Good deeds are rewarded (e.g.: praise, awards, points etc.) and bad deeds are punished (e.g.: time-outs ("naughty corner")). She's fantastic. And it's always interesting watching her work with the same children as their parents - kids who are absolute devils whom she quickly turns around into angels - all from teaching them this thing called responsibility!

6. Understand that there is a "no" period in childhood - around ages terrible two and troublesome three. This is a normal phase of children learning to assert themselves so Dont overdo it by giving them a whack and saying "bad boy" to everytime, learn to differentiate which "NO" is valid and which one if left uncheck will lead to having a juvie in the future - stop saying/thinking as well "aww isnt that cute, he/she's saying NO" - that's a little monster in the making if left unchecked.

Those are acts of direct and open defiance and insolence. Absolutely no way for a child to talk to an adult. Part of the Positive Behaviour Learning programme (based on Glasser Choice Reality theory) that a lot of schools are implementing now emphasises the use of positive cues rather than negative ones (e.g.: saying "No!"). So instead of saying, "No running!" when kids bolt past me in the corridor I say, "Walking!" - still in a loud stern voice, but I'm not using a negative cue. It's not always possible at all times (because often we are reprimanding children spontaneously and unscripted) - but yeah, it's good to try and avoid being too negative in correcting kids as they pick it up and will turn it back on you.

"So you don't wanna eat your veggies ei? Throw a tantrum and embarrass me in front of everyone in the department store ei? Sayonara baby - we can always make another one its the fun part anyway" I certainly have patience and tolerance for kids.

Or do what that mother did in that TV commercial and have a bigger tantrum on the supermarket floor! I loved that "What'choo got?!" look she gave to the kid too when she finished.

[roller]

i can smell hormones in this thread

parental hormones!