Advice & tips on how to pick up thread

[VERT]

Be yourself it's that easy. But remember winning is also a trap. Run away! Run as fast as you can!

[liegeprime]

Remember to shower and put on a bit of perfume and use deodorant ( this I cannot express enough).... you may be the sweetest and charming guy ever but a BO is a total turn off to anyone within the vicinity.... oh and tooth brush anyone? the sweetest pick up line is worth nothing when delivered with a bad breath.... in short - Personal hygiene counts A LOT!

[AJ_Prime]

Listen. Ask a lot of questions. Show an interest and try to relate somehow. Try not to talk about yourself or your opinions too much, but at the same time try not to be too boring. There's nothing wrong with revealing a little bit about yourself, but don't delve into the deeper stuff during the first meeting. Save something for future dates.

Try to keep it relatively light during the first few meetings if it's someone you haven't met before. Make some light humour, but not at anyone's expense. Laugh at yourself a little. Try to come across as a positive person.

If you're not happy with yourself or you don't have a lot of confidence, then perhaps try to work on yourself a bit first. Do all those things that you feel you need to, or would like to do to improve yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. If you can't love yourself (without being arrogant about it), then you may find it difficult to be comfortable in a relationship, or trusting the other person if things get a bit more serious.

Believe that you deserve happiness, in whatever form that takes. Go out and socialise, meet as many people as you feel comfortable with, guys and girls. Make some new friends. Sometimes just expanding your social circles will lead you closer to the person who is right for you. That person will accept you the way you are and will love you without asking you to change.

I met my wife unintentionally through a friend, she was her flatmate at the time and they also studied together at uni. We struck up a strong friendship very quickly, something just clicked with us both and eventually we decided to take it to the next level. Best risk I ever took, 14 years later here we are, both still very happy.

Of course if you're just out for a bit of fun, I probably can't help you much there. I was always a bit too shy and I'm led to believe that cheesy pick up lines don't work. However I do have some friends who play the field, and they are exceedingly confident within themselves. But they are just themselves and some women do go out with the intention of picking up for the night. I should know, I used to go out with a group of them in younger days quite regularly. They were just fun girls, out for fun times. Great people, and we had a lot of laughs. I never broke the friend zone with any of them, but I'm kind of glad I didn't, because it really would've ruined the dynamics of the group.

Sorry I digressed a bit there, but anyway that's my advice. For whatever it's worth. However that's just my experience. Hope it helps.

[Kazza]

Listen. Ask a lot of questions. Show an interest and try to relate somehow. Try not to talk about yourself or your opinions too much, but at the same time try not to be too boring. There's nothing wrong with revealing a little bit about yourself, but don't delve into the deeper stuff during the first meeting. Save something for future dates.

Try to keep it relatively light during the first few meetings if it's someone you haven't met before. Make some light humour, but not at anyone's expense. Laugh at yourself a little. Try to come across as a positive person.

If you're not happy with yourself or you don't have a lot of confidence, then perhaps try to work on yourself a bit first. Do all those things that you feel you need to, or would like to do to improve yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. If you can't love yourself (without being arrogant about it), then you may find it difficult to be comfortable in a relationship, or trusting the other person if things get a bit more serious.

Believe that you deserve happiness, in whatever form that takes. Go out and socialise, meet as many people as you feel comfortable with, guys and girls. Make some new friends. Sometimes just expanding your social circles will lead you closer to the person who is right for you. That person will accept you the way you are and will love you without asking you to change.

I met my wife unintentionally through a friend, she was her flatmate at the time and they also studied together at uni. We struck up a strong friendship very quickly, something just clicked with us both and eventually we decided to take it to the next level. Best risk I ever took, 14 years later here we are, both still very happy.

Of course if you're just out for a bit of fun, I probably can't help you much there. I was always a bit too shy and I'm led to believe that cheesy pick up lines don't work. However I do have some friends who play the field, and they are exceedingly confident within themselves. But they are just themselves and some women do go out with the intention of picking up for the night. I should know, I used to go out with a group of them in younger days quite regularly. They were just fun girls, out for fun times. Great people, and we had a lot of laughs. I never broke the friend zone with any of them, but I'm kind of glad I didn't, because it really would've ruined the dynamics of the group.

Sorry I digressed a bit there, but anyway that's my advice. For whatever it's worth. However that's just my experience. Hope it helps.

+1, this is basically the approach I took towards getting to know the current girl I'm dating. Before I had any intentions of dating, I had met her by chance, and heard her discussing one of my favorite hobbies, 'pokemon (especially trading cards)'. We became friends and talked about other similar interests/hobbies (video games, shows etc) which spanned over a few weeks.

I than asked her to hang out at my place to play games or trade cards (yes pretty geeky), but by the end of the night, we confessed our feelings to each other. Also she mentioned that time went by really fast when she was with me, which she told me was a good thing. Also be aware, as much as we are afraid to get rejected, so are they.

[Deonasis]

My tip is to get out there! Be yourself but grow yourself! Go out and add new, different beginners courses to your routine. Courses usually run like semmesters but for say tennis school, learn to swing dance, cooking courses, drawing lessons, tai chi, swimming, etc.. They are usually cheap and the point is stick them out and attend the whole course (no matter if thèy suck) but change them when they end (unless you want more of it!)

These courses may have no one you are attracted to in them but that is not the point! The benefits are..
- You are learning. You are increasing your skills and knowledge, instead of just watching it all on your colour tv.
- You are meeting new people. You can learn from the lives of others of any age.
- You become more confident in new situations. Like that "i forgot your name from last week" moment or asking questions.
- You may find a hottie there and you already have a common topic. Yay!

^Look at all you gain from the list above, all of it carries through to your daily life and is useful and puts you in good stead when you do miss your train and bump into someone special.

[Deonasis]

This thread also made me think of this..

[jazzcomp]

For the not so serious advice, booze helps a lot
And +1 on those Barney tips.

[Megatran]

Ah yes, BOOZE ....... The great social lubricator.

Here's another tip! IF and when you've got her to your place put on some romantic music to set the mood.







............. Then quickly switch it over to Neil Diamond's Girl you'll be a woman soon, followed by Mondo Rock's Come said the boy. Give me a holla if this works.

[BigTransformerTrev]

Confidence and self esteem are the key. If you lack that, you won't get far.

Yep - right on the money. Just make sure that 'confidence' never comes across as 'arrogance'. It's the difference between 'I really like me' and 'I love myself because I'm better than everyone else'.



For tips on how to impress the opposite sex as well as a handy guide to being a grown up male in this society, I heartily recommend this book - How to be a Man - by a great Aussie author Jon Birmingham (who wrote 'Died with a Felafel in his Hand' and 'The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco' - both well worth a read!):


http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Man-Joh.../dp/1875989285

[5FDP]

Remember to shower and put on a bit of perfume and use deodorant

Liege nailed it If you smell like shit, you'll only attract files.