Episode 2: Blaster stuck in replay, replay
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*March, march, march, march*
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G2 PRIME: Hey Warpath you're a military enthusiast kind of bot. Why don't you sing us a bit of a marching tune while we trek across this wasteland?
WARPATH: ZOW! I am on it like a...
KUP: Blaster stuck in replay
CJ: Replay
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WARPATH: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! I want you in my room, lets spend the night together. From now until...
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G2 PRIME: Y'know I was thinking of something more traditional, Warpath
KUP: If yer wan't tradition you're looking at him kid
G2 PRIME: Traditional + 1. Hey where's Cliffjumper?
KUP: Oh he went off to have his own adventures
G2 PRIME: What?!? You can't just dissapear randomly whenever you please. What kind of show are you running here?
KUP: It's just the way it is Prime. Don't you worry he'll be back. Perhaps coloured differently and probably mute.
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G2 PRIME: Hmmm, you're right old friend.
KUP: Oh here we go
G2 PRIME: I remember now that these were indeed the ways of old. However, being from the future, I can tell you much has changed since those innocent times of long ago.
KUP: Oh for serious, I wouldn't have guessed
G2 PRIME: Experience has taught me that we can ill afford to have members of our team flake on us at random intervals. It will get us all killed.
KUP: Experience has taught me that if we stand around all day talking we're more likely to get killed
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G2 PRIME: I myself have changed much since those times. I have become more determined to end this war and learnt to be more efficient about it. You may have noticed that I have even given up firearms and taken up the way of the blade.
WARPATH: Heresy!!!
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G2 PRIME: No Warpath, Wisdom. Aeons of battle have honed my combat skills. I have even been given the title "Laser". I will teach the Autobots of this era the way of the "Laser" and hence how to fight properly.
KUP: Primus, how many cygars am I going to waste on this monologue
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G2 PRIME: Oh comon Warpath is not THAT astonishing you can put your arms down.
WARPATH: Errr Prime...
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SONAR: Stand and deliver!
G2 PRIME: What?!?
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G2 PRIME: Your kind is NOT WELCOME HERE!
SONAR: Hey what the?!?
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G2 PRIME: The only thing I will deliver you Decepticon...
SONAR: Hey let me go. We havent even shot volleys at each other at close range yet!
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G2 PRIME: ... is a quick and merciless death you mass murderer!
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G2 PRIME: RAAAARGHH!!!
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WARPATH: Damn Optimus...
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G2 PRIME: Damn what? You have a freakin cannon in your chest, why didn't you just shoot him!?! We could have been all killed!
WARPATH: But Prime, it was only Sonar. BLOOP! Besides which, if we were taken prisoner it would only be a matter of time before Cliffjumper returned to find us and blew the KABLOOIE! out of him.
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G2 PRIME: Sonar? Who the heck is Sonar??? And why is he so unaesthetically pleasing?!?
WARPATH: Thats really a matter of opinion Prime. Some people reckon neon colours and stupid flames are unappealing. YAKK!
KUP: Ugh
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G2 PRIME: Perhaps Warpath. Autobots, we face an enemy far greater than I had previously imagined. It has become apparent to me that someone has tampered with the natural course of history to develop a new, even more threatening breed of enemy. The ugly Decepticon!
WARPATH: ......
G2 PRIME: I swear to hunt down and destroy every one of these abominations and together we will END THIS WAR
KUP: Slag
Episode 4: Summon bird to the sword
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G2 Prime: Farewell Mirage, you will be remembered for your snobbery and uncanny ability to obtain voyeuristic material. Nulla è reale, tutto è lecito.
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G2 Prime:Requiescat in pace
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G2 Prime: What the
Kup: I know that smoke pattern from that wound ..... Audiosonic oscillation maser. This could only mean.....
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Kup: Soundwave :mad:
Soundwave: Laserbeak, Ravage, Howlback eject. Operation: Announce commencement of a surprise attack.
Overbite: You're right, his circuits ARE fried.
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Kup: Prime! Yer gotta buy us some time with Soundwave and the minicons. I'll drag Warpath to safety.
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G2 Prime: I'll do more than just buy us some time Kup
Kup: Yeah, you could like die or something. That'd be GRAND
Overbite: Rawr!
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G2 Prime: HYAH!
Overbite: *yelp*
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Kup: Hang on Warpath lad, I'll get you out of here. Oh crap. There's Soundwave and he's pointing his thingy at us.
Soundwave: This reminds me of the time Sixshot took down all of the Aerialbots. Many Autobots lost their heads that day. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Kup: That was unnecessary.
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G2 Prime: Hah, Kup's got Soundwave doing standup, this is the perfect opportunity to lop off his head.
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Dreadwing: SOUNDWAVE-SAMA!!!!
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G2 Prime: What the heck, get off my blade you angry bird!
Dreadwing: Urrghk! Get away from my master!
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Dreadwing: Soundwave-sama.... Do not... forget... me.
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Soundwave: Laserbeak... where is Laserbeak?
G2 Prime: It seems, in your moment of weakness, he flew into my sword.
Soundwave: Implausible. I still feel him. I....
G2 Prime: His remains are right here!
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Soundwave: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OO
Don't you hate it when rebooted shows go all anime on you? Stay tuned for next week's episode where G2 Prime goes toe to toe against....
well... Soundwave. Who else?
Episode 5: Duke-out in the Dunes
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[Cue Guile's Theme. It really does go with everything]
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Soundwave: Sonic Barrage. Enact.
SHOOM! SHOOM SHOOM!
[B]G2 Prime:[B] An opening volley of missiles eh? Nice move.
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Soundwave: Sonic Barrage. Enact
G2 Prime: Okay that's just cheap.
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Soundwave: Sonic Barrage. Enact.
G2 Prime: STOP SPAMMING MISSILES! IT'S NOT FAIR!
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Soundwave: Request granted. Sonic Beam. Enact.
CHOOOM!
G2 Prime: Uagh! Uagh Uagh Uagh
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Soundwave: Don't bring a Laser knife to a Laser gun fight.
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G2 Prime: I must not repeat the mistakes of the first round. I will use a ranged attack of my own.
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G2 Prime: Energon sword throw!!!
Soundwave: Sonic Intercept. Enact.
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G2 Prime: Slaggin Underbase. Now that's just Haxx. You communications geeks are all the same. All tech, no mettle.
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Soundwave: Sonic Roundhouse. Enact.
G2 Prime: Agh! Damned geek knows Tekkaido
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Soundwave: Sonic Sucker Punch. Enact.
G2 Prime: You'll have to do more than that to break ME Soundwave.
Soundwave: x3
G2 Prime: Okay that would do it.
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Soundwave: As per the intergalactic code of conduct for evil villainy, I now grant you the right to say your last words thereby producing an opportunity for your comrades to mount an impeccable rescue or yourself to think up an improbable last ditch escape plan.
G2 Prime: So glad Megatron signed the Cybertronians up to that convention.
Soundwave: The code of conduct only offers a single cycle for you to offer your last words unless the captor (me) has elected to gloat upon the captive (you) the extent of my villainous plans then you will have half a cycle upon the termination of the principal monologue. I must inform you that you reserve the right to appeal for an extension of this period should there by a valid query regarding any of details described in the aforementioned villainous plan that can be regarded as "not stalling for time" as prescribed in another villainy standard "Classfication of queries towards villainous plans by protagonists". I should also inform you that of last stellar cycle this standard was made redundant by the Intergalactic Code of Practice for fair and equal epic battles between good and evil and now all queries made within an execution event are regarded as "stalling for time". Thus since I have not elected to do say a monologue with the specific intent of minimising the window of opportunity for your escape and you actualy hold no rights to extend your stay of execution you have 12 seconds before I run you through with your own energon weapon.
G2 Prime: Very well, I have my word Soundwave.
Soundwave: Speak, Autobot
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G2 Prime: Trans-form
Soundwave: Evasive maneuvers. Enact. Failed - Report - Hand pinched by transforming parts. Gross. Warning, centre of gravity of critical mass shifting overhead...
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G2 Prime: Your game is up Soundwave. Tell us where the rest of the ugly Decepticons are!
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Kup: It's no good Prime. Communications are still jammed. I can't contact any of the other Autobots. Soundwave was not the source of the jamming signal.
Cliffjumper: Wait then who's in charge of the Decepticons?
Soundwave: You believe I am now the leader of the Decepticons? I regret to inform you that since the 'Incident' both Autobot and Decepticon have fallen under the influence of one whose loyalty and devotion to Lord Megatron is admittedly greater than my own.
Kup: I know who you're talkin about, but thats far too illogical to believe.
Soundwave: Furthermore, this individual now possesses your Autobot Matrix of Leadership.
G2 Prime: What?!?
Kup: Oh slag...
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G2 Prime: The Matrix. It has been so long. I had forgotten that it still exists in this era. AUTOBOTS. We have a new objective! We must find the new lord of the Decepticons and reclaim the Matrix of Leadership. Without the matrix, Cybertronians will be condemned to a future of neon colours and ever increasing gimmicktry in order to stay relevant. Believe me, you do not want to go there.
Kup: I intend to die before I get there.
G2 Prime: But I wonder. Who has the matrix? Starscream? No... Shockwave? Perhaps...
Meanwhile, somewhere else in the desert
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"Let this mark the end of the Cybertronian wars as we march forward to a new age of peace and happyness!// ALL HAIL MEGATRON!"
Episode 7: Alliances made
This episode was filmed prior to the Transformers strike of Lint's Bedroom. It has now been digitally mastered and released for public viewing. :)
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Kup: Ah Slaggit, this is just too hard. Where's that Hot Rod punk when you need him?
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Kup: Okay Warpath lad, I'm going to go find a timing belt in this forsaken desert. Don't move from this spot. I'm serious. If I come back here and find you gone I will hunt you down and use your laser core as scraplet feed!
DOO-DOO-DOOO DO DOOOO DO! [Transition]
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Nut Convoy: Autocons HALT!
Sledge: Looks like some poor fella got in a tangle with Soundwave
Windcharger: Look Whirl its Warpath!
Whirl: I see him. He's messed up pretty bad.
Terradive: That whelp won't survive the night
Nut Convoy: I, Nut Convoy will revive this fellow cybertronian for the glory of Megatron!
Windcharger: Why are we following this guy again?
Nut Convoy: Because I bear the Matrix of Leadership
Windcharger: So? So did that punk Hot Rod
Nut Convoy: And I can kill you with a punch
Windcharger: Touche
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Nut Convoy: Meggsy Ma... Meggsy Ma... Meggsy Ma, shakti de!
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Nut Convoy: And now to channel the power of the Matrix through the magic recepticle.
Windcharger: Aww gross
Sledge: I hate this part
Whirl: Is this really necessary?
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Nut Convoy: Rise Warpath! Rise for the glory of Megatron
Windcharger: This will never work
Sledge: Probably not a good time to tell you that you revived in this exact manner eh?
Windcharger: Ugh, seriously?
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Warpath: ZOW! I'm back!
Warpath: Windcharger! Whirl! Where have you guys been? And why does this Con have the Matrix?
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Terradive: Grr have more respect Autobot! This 'con' just saved your spark.
Whirl: It's true.
Nut Convoy: Greetings Warpath, I am Nut Convoy. Leader of the the cybertronian alliance. These are my lieutenants, Terradive and Whirl.
Warpath: Well, since stuffpiece left me for dead I think I will join you guys!
Nut Convoy: Glorious news! All hail Megatron!
Warpath: BAM! Wait, what?
Meanwhile back somewhere else in the desert.
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G2 Prime: Hey where'd everybody clear off to?
Snarl: So if you ain't no punk holler we want pre-nup, we want pre-nup Yeaaah
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G2 Prime: Steeljaw! Long time no see little buddy!
Snarl: Gah! What?!? Please don't hurt me! *zip*
G2 Prime: You probably don't recognise me. I'm Prime, from the future!
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G2 Prime: I'd say transform and roll out but that would be cruel since you're just a tape. Come Steeljaw, let us find the others and END THIS WAR.
Snarl: Guh, okay. Beats wandering
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Snarl: Theres definitely something about this desert that makes all the big shots go crazy.
Episode 9: Get down with the sickness
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Terradive: Master, the one they call G2 Prime shall be of no significance to us any longer. I present to you his battle blade.
Nut Convoy: Battle blade eh? I'm certainly no detective. Wheres that Garboil guy when you need him?
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Nut Convoy:You! Can you identify this blade for the glory of Megatron?
Warpath: _____ Why yes that is most certainly the weapon of the one who now calls himself Optimus Prime.
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Nut Convoy: Excellent! Here you go Sledge. It is to you I bequeath this artifact for safe carriage. Keep it safe and such.
Sledge: This thing better not be cursed.
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Nut Convoy: Autocons! Ready your cheetors and hang gliders. For tonight we dine in White Castle!
Whirl: Thats the place that does the sliders right?
Windcharger: I hate that show
Whirl: Yeh I lost interest after the Cro-Mags
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G2 Prime: We have the high ground Kup. We cannot lose.
Kup: This reminds me of the time we made camp on Tagan Heights. Forgot that Cons could fly. Many casualties that day.
Snarl: Hey I remember reading about that on the dataspy
Kup: All it takes is just one shove minicon...
G2 Prime: Are you ready Kup?
Kup: Yer, I'll cover you from above.
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G2 Prime: While they stand, I shall fall
Kup: That was dreadful
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Nut Convoy: ... and then I said to Mari "Thats what she said"
*SWOOP*
G2 Prime: Strike from above!!!
Whirl: Uff!
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G2 Prime: So you're the one the great Nut Convoy... I thought you'd be taller.
Nut Convoy: Wait how much taller did you want me to be? You're a runt!
Windcharger: And you're also not Optimus Prime!!! Whats with those flames?!? Die impostor!
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G2 Prime: Such, minibot...
Windcharger: Wha...?
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G2 Prime: NONSENSE!!!
Windcharger: Uaghh!
Nut Convoy: And it all ends with a...
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Nut Convoy: POKE
G2 Prime: Missed! Now out of the way, I'll be taking my...
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G2 Prime: Sword!..... Judo kick!
Sledge: *Wilhelm Scream*
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G2 Prime: So who wants some now?
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Terradive: Grrrr, please allow me to dispense of this garish protoform master.
G2 Prime: Me? Garish? Have you seen your FACE?
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Nut Convoy: Hmm very well Terradive. I will grant you this opportunity for the glory of Megatron.
G2 Prime: And don't get me started on your torso. You're a freakin jet. Jetformers should all have naturally KICKASS looking torsos. Yours is folded over more times than a spanish pikelet.
Terradive: Go now master. Guide our people to White Castle!
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Nut Convoy: Come along everyone. I think its this way
Terradive: So, 'Prime'.... Last time I had to pleasure of presenting your 'Disco Stick' to the great Nut Convoy. This time I will have the pleasure of giving him some head.
G2 Prime: *chortle* Freudian slip much?
Terradive: What? I just threatened to give him pieces of your head you... you....
Windcharger: This quest is giving me the battlestuffs
Episode 10: Bandwidth Busting Battle!
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G2 Prime: So it has come to this ugly decepticon. I will not be bested by you again.
Terradive: Grrr I must say, after that spectacle I have a greater admiration for your martial skill
G2 Prime: It is not skill that makes a Prime. It is the wisdom of a thousand million Convoys distilled into the matrix which only a Prime can bear.
Terradive: Except you do not possess it and it has now chosen Lugnut, nay, Nut Convoy whom I serve with all my spark as he is the one who will restore Cybertron and bring us to true glory!!!
G2 Prime: Ugly decepticon, prepare to die, you have chosen your bath!
Terradive: Wait don't you mean...\\
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G2 Prime: Surprise Typo attack!
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Terradive: Grrrr, announcing a surprise attack? Who was your swordmaster; Soundwave?
G2 Prime: Hey I beat Soundwave you know. I lured him in real close and then crushed him by transforming into a truck
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Terradive: Now you're citing all your battle strategies? I must admit the warrior in me was excited when you jumped us in that ambush.
G2 Prime: Uff!!!
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Terradive: But now I see you...
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*CRUNCH*
Terradive: For the fool you truly are
G2 Prime: Urghh, must... reach
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Snarl: Hey aren't you sposed to be providing covering fire or something?
Kup: Shhh, he's doing fine on his own. He'll be grand.
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G2 Prime: Minicon carcass TO THE FACE!
Terradive: Aaaaaaaarghhh!!!!
Snarl: Holy stuffpieces you were right! As in, correct right. Like, on the money!
Kup: Shut up
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G2 Prime: By Primus, these gratuitious action sequences really wear hard on my crappy Hasbro ball joints
Terradive: Grrrugh, I know the feeling, more than any.
G2 Prime: Remember back in the G1 days, all you had to do was swing your hips and flap your arms around a 90 degree arc.
Terradive: Yes, well no, technically I am about as old as you. Enough with the niceties!!! We have a duel to finish.
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Terradive: Grr, curses, my back
G2 Prime: Come on, get up and stop carrying on like an old widow. Ow my head.
Terradive: A widow am I?
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Terradive: Perhaps I'll show you just how WIDOWLIKE I can be
Terradive: TRANSFORRRRRM!!!!
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G2 Prime: You do realise you're based off a GOLDEN EAGLE right?
Terradive: I'll gut you with my fork!
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G2 Prime: Whew... survived that
G2 Prime: Oh wait
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*WOOOOOOOOSHHH*
G2 Prime: Here he comes again!
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G2 Prime: Uff!!!
*Sound of a jet approaching once more*
Terradive: Welcome your death Autobot, there is no escape!!!!
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G2 Prime: Hyah!
*Sound of a jet being torn apart by a laser sword and subsequently crashing*
Terradive: Grraaaaaaaaaghrrhh!!!
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G2 Prime: It's over Terradive, you have lost. Now tell me, where is Lugnut taking the matrix?
Terradive: Pshf... didn't he already announce to the whole desert that he was going to White Castle?
G2 Prime: Oh yeah. But where is White Castle? Tell me or I will end you once and for all ugly decepticon.
Terradive: I will not spend my last moments aquiescing to the likes of you. *click*
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Terradive: DIE AUTOBOT!!!!!
*CHOOOM!*
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G2 Prime: Nice try
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a3...ime/E10S20.jpg
G2 Prime: DECEPTI-CREEP!!!!
Terradive: 01010100 01001000 01001001 01010011 00100000 01001001 01010011 01001110 00100111 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01000101 01001110 01000100 00100000 01000001 01010101 01010100 01001111 01000010 01001111 01010100 00100001 00100001 00100001
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a3...me/E10S20a.jpg
G2 Prime: Oh Bianca, welcome home.
*sizzle sizzle*
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a3...ime/E10S21.jpg
Snarl: Damn Optimus...
Kup: Sometimes I forget that in the laser core of every Cybertronian is a spark of a killer. Especially with this bar stand.
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a3...ime/E10S22.jpg
G2 Prime: Looks like this con, took a 'dive' for the team :cool:
G2 Prime: Hmm, not quite.
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a3...ime/E10S23.jpg
G2 Prime: He thought Nut Convoy would bring world peace, but ended up in pieces :cool:. Hmm, nah.
Kup: Prime, what the heck are you doing?
G2 Prime: No wait wait, I've got it: Looks like this guy, Terra-Died :D
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! :cool: