what to do if someone keeps stealing ur TF's

[kreh80]

Hey bro,

I tend to agree with ode to a grasshopper here, the TF's missing are a side issue to cutting hoses up and being suspended from school.

There could be a problem that the young bloke is dealing with that he can't talk about/explain (bully at school, problem with a teacher etc). There is support out there that may help you all get to the root of the problem. QLD health will offer some advice on who to see, you could also see a councilor at school or freecall Lifeline or parentline, they provide free professional advice and support and know how to get info out of kids and offer advice.

These are just friendly suggestions and thoughts.

Good luck mate, hang tough.

Talk to you later in the week.

[GoktimusPrime]

but the other thing is the M-I-L still says he only took 1 or 2 different items but i called bullshit on them.

It doesn't matter if he took 1 or 2 or 10. The fact of the matter is he took something without permission, which is stealing -- it's the principle of the matter.

just got home from ozformer grevious's house and walked straight into a shitstorm.they think i'm picking on him cause they say he doesn't know what he's doing.i call bullshit on that.he knows excatly what he's doing and he's playing on it,i know it,our friends know it but their blind to it and they keep harping on how he's had a hard life.they don't know the meaning of hard. so hopefully he does what he does here to someone else and cops a flogging for it.

Of course he knows what he's doing. Even if he has some kind of disorder like kleptomania - he'd still know that he's doing it. It's not as if someone with say a hand-washing OCD doesn't know what they're doing each time they soap up and wash their hands a hundred times a day! It's not as if hoarders don't know that they're hoarding! Of course these people know what they're doing! It only difference is that if it's because of an actual disorder, they may not know how to stop or control their actions even if they want to (like say a smoker who doesn't know how to quit - but they're fully aware each time they light up, it's not like, "Oh! What's this ciggie doing in my mouth?!?" ). And as I said before, if it's some kind of disorder where he really can't stop himself, then it requires professional intervention. But the majority of people who are compulsive thieves do NOT have any kind of mental/psychological disorder like kleptomania or OCD that predisposes them to doing so. Or he could just be a self-righteous spoiled brat with an over-developed sense of self-entitlement without any sufficient understanding of self-responsibility.

I find it difficult to believe that this child has gone around cutting hoses, brake lines and getting suspended from school, and yet the caregivers have decided to punish him by not letting him to a show, but reward him with some Transformer toys. W H A T ? What part of the word "consistency" do they not understand?!? Disallowing him from going to the show was a good move, I'll give credit for that... but you've GOT to be consistent in the application and execution of consequences. Considering the severity of what's happened, that should only be the beginning of his punishment... he should have all sorts of other privileges revoked like being able to watch TV or use the computer or confiscate his mobile phone etc. And the child will need to earn those privileges back through good behaviours and demonstrating that he is making an effort to improve. No good behaviour, no reward. More bad behaviour, more punishments.

It's not rocket science. Unless it's really like Wimp Lo from Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, and this kid's being raised wrong on purpose as a joke. That's gotta be it.

[SkyWarp91]

Beat the kid. Teach them disciprine. It worked for me. Oh wait...

Seriously though, the kid sounds like he keeps stealing because he knows he can and can get away with it. Screw what your missus or mother-in law think if the kid steals then you punish him fairly. Go to his house and get back all your toys.

[Tabias Prime]

Or he could just be a self-righteous spoiled brat with an over-developed sense of self-entitlement without any sufficient understanding of self-responsibility.

I think you hit the nail on the head with this comment and describes 75% of people theses days

[GoktimusPrime]

My part in this discussion has moved away from simply securing iamirondude's collection from this child and more toward issues with the child, so I've continued my discussion about it in the Parenting Thread.

As far as the Transformers are concerned, as has been suggested before, you need to cut off this child's access to your collection (locking up, relocating etc.).

[Gouki]

the wife and mother in law have just come back from the shops and lo and behold he's got TF's they brought him,so she wont tahe him to the show but will spend that money on toys for him so i'm going out threre and when he turns his back i'm gonna hide them.lets see how he feels when it happens to him.

Good one. Way to show who's boss there. I assume you're both in the same grade or something?

But really, the Transformers are the least important thing here (as many have said). If he's doing things like cutting power cables go to the cops. Don't be an annoying, passive agressive internet dweller who won't do anything (oh, except your brillaint 'I'll hide the childs toys!' strategy). Keep going to the cops, and make the mother vary aware of that. At the very least it might start a chain reaction of awkwardness for a few weeks, but it's better than nothing if change comes.

Tell her straight up how it is, and whats going to change.

[Jinto]

iamIrondude, how old is this guy? Are we talking disobedient kid or mentally handicapped (young?)adult with a carer?

[iamirondude]

he's 10 yrs old.so i've just decided to let things be with him.Nothings gonna change him so i'm a gonna leave it as it is and just let him learn the hard way whats happens when u stuff up.

[Dodgeybros]

simply limit his access to wherever the TF's are stored. when he is at your house, you enforce this, when he leaves the room, follow him, if he goes to the toilet, wait in the hallway so he can't slip to wherever they're stored. If he asks why, tell him that you can't trust him near his toys.
As for the other types of behaviour, seek advice from a few professionals(counsellors, child shrink, and even other foster parents and their support groups), foster kids have a hard life, I grew up with a kid (we were best mates) who was continuously shipped from one household to another, and all he seemed to need was love and acceptance from his family.

[Seraphim Prime]

he's 10 yrs old.so i've just decided to let things be with him.Nothings gonna change him so i'm a gonna leave it as it is and just let him learn the hard way whats happens when u stuff up.

I wouldn't write him off. I do a lot of work with youth, and at 10, a lot of things can still change, as long as someone puts the effort and care into them. I don't know where the boundary should be, and how much you can convince your mother in law to be doing, but don't write the kid off.