what to do if someone keeps stealing ur TF's

[iamirondude]

i thought it was attention seeking to so i did spend alot of time with him and took him out on callouts and on TF hunts and brought him alot of TFs but he still stealing mine and it's not just tfs he's been stealing.he's stolen my lic and plant tickets and other peoples stuff.i have been offered storage at another ozformers house but i don't know cause it's a huge collection and i do trust him 100% but i have never let anything so valuable outside my house.

[GoktimusPrime]

The short term solution is to secure your belongings from this kid. Place your Transformers and other valuables into a room, then lock it. But this is only treating the symptom and not the problem, which is whatever issues this kid has that makes him want to steal things.

But yeah, in the meantime I'd definitely recommend locking up your Transformers and other valuables. If he so much as says ONE word in protest, tell him that you're sick of him stealing your things and that because of his actions, you no longer trust him to have access to your collection and other valuables. i.e. this is the consequence of his actions. The sooner kids learn that there are consequences for what they do, the sooner they learn this little thing called responsibility.

You can't control what he does, and you can't control what his carers do (all you can do is ask them to take action) -- but you CAN control what happens to your stuff, in this case, securing them. Keep one key with you (attach it to your car keys), and maybe ask your OzFormer friend that you trust to keep the spare key for you. If he starts eyeing your keys, maybe tell him that if you find your keys missing, the next step will be installing a finger-print scan lock.

I also find it incredibly rude that this child and his carers can live under your roof and disrespect you by allow (through inaction) him to steal from you.

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

Either:
1) Hide them as has been suggested,
2) Put up an alternate, more tempting petty theft target (I recommend chocolate laxatives in an easy-to-access jar)
...or...
3) dust them in chilli powder and when you see one missing have a 'Who can keep their finger on their eyeball the longest' contest.

[GoktimusPrime]

More serious concerns -- this child may be manifesting signs of kleptomania, which is linked with OCD and addictive behaviours. If so, then early intervention would be advisable.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleptomania
http://www.minddisorders.com/Kau-Nu/Kleptomania.html

[liegeprime]

Who is the parents of this kid, tell them their kid is a freakin Klepto!! let them do the smacking and if they don't well, LOCK your room! Id say put your foot down since it's your freakin house! that kid is just being babysat is he, well tell his parents coz the sooner thisbehaviour is nipped at the bud the better.

It is quite a chore coz weve seen you have definitely a lot more toys than before but until this issue isn't resolved it would be best to store and lock them
and your other valuables.

Things like this makes me mad and stupid policies like no smacking only mollycoddles offenders like this brat... A good 12 strong whacks of a bamboo stick in the hands for everytime he steals is really in order. I dont care what anyone says , NEVER SPARE THE ROD! He steals, he bleeds!

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

i wish he actually lives with us.he and his sister are cared for by my mother in law.i've told her but thats also ineffective.

Id say put your foot down since it's your freakin house! that kid is just being babysat is he, well tell his parents coz the sooner thisbehaviour is nipped at the bud the better.

What I got from this was that they actually live full-time in the same house, and iamirondude's mother-in-law is their full-time, live-in carer for one reason or another. Presumably there's some sort of reason for that, i.e. they're probably the kids of a family member/close friend who either passed away and/or has some difficult life circumstances that make foster care a better option, or else said mother-in-law has adopted them.
Eg. irondude's household = iamirondude + iamirondude's wife + their/his own child + irondude's mother-in-law + Klepto the Wonder Boy + Klepto's sister + possibly others.
Either way, without knowing too many of the details and/or family politics here, if the mother-in-law is caring for the two kids full-time presumably they're from a 'troubled' background and there's not a better option available, like their actual parents. Similarly, kicking them out of the house over something like this (and the various other thefts) isn't a viable option either without kicking out Grandma too, which presumably Mrs irondude wouldn't be too happy about (and seems a little extreme). You have a little more leverage if it's 'your house' as in you're the actual house owner rather than another tenant/family member, but even then the whole blood ties to Grandma and Klepto being her ward make laying down the law difficult.

So, with this in mind, here's my serious advice. Previous suggestions 1 and 2 are still workable, as is 'store them at someone else's house' (maybe try to find someone you trust though), but if you want to keep them at hand and theft-free then you might want to get Mrs irondude to approach her mother about it. If Klepto is stealing from other people too presumably there's an awareness that there's a problem here, but Grandma either 1) refuses to acknowledge it about her little angel, or else 2) hasn't been able to stop it. If it's the latter, then maybe look into counseling as Goki says - not just for the TFs, but also because growing up as a petty thief isn't gonna be good for Klepto either. For now it's just annoying, but it could land him in real trouble one day.

So @irondude, I've got a few questions that'll help us get a clearer view of the situation here. Feel free to not answer them if they're stuff you don't want to talk about.
1: Are you the house owner/lease holder?
2: How old is Klepto, and how long has he been doing this for? Is he a troubled/problem child generally, and does he have any behavioural disorders like ADHD, Autism, etc? Were there any notable events that happened that might have triggered it off?
3: Why is Grandma looking after Klepto and his sister? Does his sister have any behavioural problems too, or is it just him? If you can tell us a little about the background story here (while avoiding any specifics you'd rather not share) it could help us understand what's going on.
4: Has Grandma tried doing anything about Klepto's behaviour, or is she pretending it's not happening and/or looking the other way and hoping it just goes away on it's own?
5: What's the makeup of your house? So far we know it's you, Mrs irondude's mother, and her 2 wards, but who else lives there?
6: What are the family politics here? Do you get on well with your mother-in-law? Do you think Mrs irondude might have a better chance of getting results here?

[griffin]

If you don't have to share your room, just buy a door-handle with a lock on it and change it over (if it is possible or allowed). It'll give you security (when you are out) and privacy (when you are in).

[GoktimusPrime]

There should definitely be SOME form of consistently enforced consequence for that child's behaviour - positive (reward) and negative (punishment). Not necessarily corporal punishment - it can be other things like verbal reprimands, removal of privileges (e.g. television access, computer access, access to child's own toys/games etc.).

So, with this in mind, here's my serious advice. Previous suggestions 1 and 2 are still workable, as is 'store them at someone else's house' (maybe try to find someone you trust though), but if you want to keep them at hand and theft-free then you might want to get Mrs irondude to approach her mother about it.

I think it's easy enough just to pop over to your local hardware store like Bunnings, get a simple door-knob with a key lock, and install it in the collection room door. I had to do that when I got my NSW Gunformer Permit, and believe me, if I can install a door-knob lock, anyone can! Remember that wooden pencil case everyone made in Year 7 Woodwork? I stuffed mine up -- that's how bad I suck at anything remotely handyman I bought my door handle lock from Bunnings for $18.95 - so it's inexpensive but secure.

Just keep a key with the house/car keys and leave a spare with a trusted friend. And if he manages to steal the key and get into that room, then that would be time to consider other options, such as:
+ Changing to another key-lock (though he may do it again if he obtains the new key)
+ Install a latch with a keypad padlock.
+ Change to a keypad lock. They cost about $95.
+ Change to a fingerprint scanner lock. Costs about $300.

If the collection room is downstairs, you may consider installing security grilles on the window(s) (cost varies depending on the size of the window). You may also consider installing an alarm in the room. But I'd start with a simple $18.95 door handle lock first... if that's enough to keep him out then there's no need to go for the more extravagant and costly options.

For now it's just annoying, but it could land him in real trouble one day.

+1 QFT. If this behaviour continues, he's gonna be in for a rude shock when he turns 18! (by then the behaviour is so heavily ingrained it becomes more difficult to break -- better to address the behaviour while they're younger)

2: How old is Klepto, and how long has he been doing this for? Is he a troubled/problem child generally, and does he have any behavioural disorders like ADHD, Autism, etc? Were there any notable events that happened that might have triggered it off?

Stealing isn't a symptom of ADD/ADHD or autism though; it's more of a compulsive behavioural disorder like OCD or addiction.

3: Why is Grandma looking after Klepto and his sister? Does his sister have any behavioural problems too, or is it just him?

Probably just the boy. Congenital disorders like OCD, ADD, ADHD etc. tend to occur far more frequently on the Y chromosome than the X chromosome, so boys are far more susceptible. If you think of every person you've met with these kinds of disorders, think about how many of the male:female ratio... they're mostly males. Same with congenital/birth defects too like deformities etc. I'm not saying that it doesn't occur in girls, but it occurs far more frequently in boys.

6: What are the family politics here? Do you get on well with your mother-in-law? Do you think Mrs irondude might have a better chance of getting results here?

Yeah... worst case scenario might be getting a domestic court order. Hopefully it won't come to that.

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

I think it's easy enough just to pop over to your local hardware store like Bunnings, get a simple door-knob with a key lock, and install it in the collection room door....

This works OK if there's a dedicated collection room, but with iamirondude & Mrs iamirondude, iamirondude JR (IIRC he has a son, possibly more kids), Grandma Mrs iamirondude, and Klepto and his sister it sounds like maybe there aren't that many spare rooms at his house.

Stealing isn't a symptom of ADD/ADHD or autism though; it's more of a compulsive behavioural disorder like OCD or addiction.

Too true, and sorry if it came across as that's what I was implying. I've got ADD myself (thankfully not ADHD) so I probably should have been more careful with my language what with all the misconceptions about various learning/behavioural disabilities out there.
The reason I asked is because it could be an attention seeking thing and/or a way of venting frustration at being 'special needs', especially if he's undiagnosed and/or not being treated. Then again, it might not.
Not that I'm qualified to give an expert diagnosis anyway, but right now we just don't have enough information to make useful suggestions.

Probably just the boy. Congenital disorders like OCD, ADD, ADHD etc. tend to occur far more frequently on the Y chromosome than the X chromosome, so boys are far more susceptible. If you think of every person you've met with these kinds of disorders, think about how many of the male:female ratio... they're mostly males. Same with congenital/birth defects too like deformities etc. I'm not saying that it doesn't occur in girls, but it occurs far more frequently in boys.

Totally agree. Us males sure suck biology-wise, don't we?
Still, I'll take just having to shave every morning over all the funky body stuff women have to live with every month.

Back on-topic: the thing is, we don't know much about these kids besides that they're being looked after by Grandma in the same house as Uncle iamirondude and that Klepto is a klepto. It could be that they're both handfuls but the girl isn't a sticky-fingers-type handful, or it could be that Klepto is just difficult for one reason or another. If, say, they're being fostered out because their birth-parents were 'unsuitable parents' and the kids have grown up in a less-than-ideal home situation and they both act out accordingly, that's a bit of a different situation from Klepto just being a bad little who likes hiding other peoples' stuff and would warrant a different approach to solving the problem accordingly.

[iamirondude]

okey dokey this the is what's happen at the mo he's been 'punished' by not being able 2 go 2 the local townsville show but it's not just the stealing thats only a small part.here is alittle bit of what he's done in the last 3 months, he has cut the hoses and saftey lines and electrical cables and brake airlines on the truck,he's also bullying other kids,he's also stolen money of people,he's been suspended for a month from school etc etc.now the punishment he receive's is no where near what he should be getting and if i say anything to him i'm the bad guy and then they tell me he's had a hard life.he's been with my mother in law since he was 2 weeks old and has had a great life.i can't kick him out because the others should not have to suffer because of him.so i've decided to just pack them up and put them into storage so looks like i won't be able to enjoy my hobby.