Under the title: Even chaos needs to put its feet up now and then, I headed down to Bunnings this morning and came back with a length of Tassie Oak and some motivation. The latter being the key to success here.
So a few hours in the garage with a circular saw, a sanding pad and a lot of patience, has yielded this. It's not finished yet, I still need to round off all the edges and then give it a few coats of clear coat to make it shine. But I'm fairly happy considering my experience involves mainly working with steel, not wood.
More pics when its finished.