Dear Checkout-Lady from Woolworths,

I just wanted to write you a quick note, apologizing for the fact that the way I live my life doesn’t seem to meet with your approval. Maybe I should have explained myself properly at the time, but let me make it up to you by doing so now...

But... why the severe judgment for spending a piddling $5 on a Transformer anyway? I wasn’t using the money to buy myself booze or smokes. I wasn’t buying myself chocolate or sweets or junk food. I wasn’t betting it on a horse or sticking it in a pokies slot. I wasn’t earmarking the money to buy weed or pills or get a blowjob in some dingy back alley. I was buying a little toy. Out of all the things I could be spending money on – a teeny action figure should rate pretty low on the objectionable scale.