When collecting TFs becomes a selfish obsession...

[iceburn]

Mel....nobody has forgotten you. it's sometimes the opportunity and cashflow that restricts someone that spotted something new on the shelf to obtain all stocks for every single member.

We have already posted our acquisitions and sightings so that will help other local members to find stuff easier too. We have the Melbourne Missionaries section that does list out what each member desire and although it's gone much bigger now than originally intended...each of us still tries to help. You also have to note that the Melbourne fan-based has also increased and we can't pick everything for everyone.

Just take it easy...enjoy the collecting of TFs as kup has said and if we miss out on some stuff...there are always other times and hope that the person will remember you. REMEMBER: Forgive and forget....

[Kyle]

I thought jay already explained himself quite well and he'll make sure to specifically include Mel directly next time.

And I was wondering why Pulse seems to have disappeared in the last few days. He was always very active and vocal about things. Oh well I won't comment on things I have no idea of. Just hope all can kiss and make up.

[TheDirtyDigger]

Just hope all can kiss and make up.

Ok everyone make a line in front of me and pucker up.....but no tongue.

Seriously though guys...we are all here together enjoying the same obsession. We should ALL work together to make things easier on each other and life better in general through posting pleasantly and acquisitional assistance.
The general IQ in this place is relatively high but that needs to be translated across into social and emotional intelligence as well so we don't have negativity and condescension bringing any of us down.

I know I have personally been no angel in the past but I am working hard to redeem this as I've had the revelation that happiness is infective and life is just too short to be narky, pissy or negative with each other as most of us interact a lot on these boards (except that antisocial bastard Demonac. (jk))

Be good to each other please.

[jaydisc]

Ahhhh, I finally worked out what you meant by S.E.L.F.I.S.H:

Started Melbourne Missionaries
Eagerly drives thousands of KM's around Melbourne in search of toys for all
Loves purchasing for others (even out of state)
Fairly and transparently manages large group orders
Is constantly posting sightings
Seeks to improve the effectiveness of sightings (VIC Sightings)
Hosts meets at his own home

Aww, thanks Mel

[jacksplatt11]

Three cheers for Jay, the most selfish Ozformer going around

[sifun]

Jay is a very great member, he has helped me get alot of things much like everyone.
Sometimes mistakes happens, can't blame them for forgetting sometimes.

[jaydisc]

In all seriousness though, let me explain my simple view on this:

I have no expectations of any of you other than I expect you to have no expectations of me. If the stars are aligned and we can help each other, that's awesome. If they're not, that needs to be awesome too. As soon as this becomes something of increased expectation or score keeping or anything else remotely near that, count me out.

[Hereticpoo]

I agree Mel.

Some attitudes on this board need re-adjusting. Sometimes I read posts and think 'wow that was a little harsh' but what can we do about it? I just take a breath and remember that we collect toys, and ignore the posts/members that irritate me.

Because we are a community we all have the right to have an opinion. Sometimes a message on a computer screen doesn't convey tone or can be read differently, sometimes coming across as aggressive. So maybe we should be concise when we post, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

Selfishness. Unfortunatly its a fact of life, and people who are selfish will never change. I'm just happy that there are members like you and Kyle here who do contribute to the community despite the occasional snide comment or irreverant attitude. BTW Thank you Kyle, mate you are a saint. He sent me a TF before I paid for it. He didn't have to, hell its dam risky but I'm glad he trusted me enough to pay him when I could. Those little things make me believe in the community and make me want to contibute. MP-5 anyone?

Chin up trooper, at the end of the day everybody has the power of choice. All it takes to change a situation is a consious choice. You can choose to be selective about who you help, and you can choose to be the bigger person.

[canofwhoopass_87]

On a similar note, I've also noticed a lot of greed and backstabbing in the sale yard by members trying to push past one another to get to specific items. This has led to multiple disputes but at the end of the day, I just sit back and look at these people and just feel so sorry for you (they won't be named). In my short time here I've seen so much selfishness and stupidity that it pushes me to be negative towards other members as well, but because I'm not a more prominent senior member I get brushed aside. Even so, whether I'm right or wrong, I'd like to apologise for any wrongdoings during my stay.

I can understand how you feel mel, I think we should all (especially the fanatical collectors who put their entire life savings into these figs) think deep and remember that there are other people out there, not just collectors but also

- Young children (Who form the bulwark of the animated fandom and the future collectors)
- Other numerous small time collectors who aren't board members (just because they're not apart of the board we shouldn't automatically be branding them as criminals)
- Our families and friends. I know a handful of people on here (even myself in the past) would rather spend money on buying that new figure rather than throwing that extra $20 for someone else's gift

As cool as these figures are, it would be great to see many of you make a bit of a shift (even if it's a very small one) and just be a little bit more generous and selfless...especially during the season of giving.

Merry Christmas to all!

[griffin]

I'm actually quite surprised that the one 'state' group that has a scouting list of figures each wants, to help each other out, is the one that has the most problems. Probably you guys get it so good having other fans in your area helping you out so often, that you take it for granted, or expect it when every new item comes out. Or in this case, feel left out when notification isn't reciprocated.
I've posted in the Melbourne Missionaries topic to encourage people to post more of their unreleased stuff 'wants', in case we get something earlier than expected in future.

And as I mentioned in that topic, one of our community's best assets is the way a lot of us do go to the trouble of getting new or limited stuff for other members, if we can, before the toy scalpers or 'unappreciative' kids/parents get them. I don't want to see this cooperative concept be shelved or go underground, just because of one or two bad circumstances.
It might look like selfishness or monopolising like a scalper, to grab several at once, or clean out *a* store - but keep it in perspective - this is usually at one or two stores out of dozens in the one region/city, for the dozen odd members here in that region. I haven't seen any sign of anyone here in the past going to every store possible to clean out each and have a monopoly of a certain figure. And even if that inadvertantly happens because it is a store exclusive to a store chain that has limited exposure to your area, most times someone else here will help out a call for assistance. Something that wouldn't happen if one or two stores weren't 'cleaned out' before regular customers or toy scalpers get to them. And if we didn't have this cooperative community, more people would miss out than those who have been benefiting from it. Just look at the Melbourne Missionaries topic (well, over a period of time, as it gets updated all the time), and this is one unfortunate instance over what would be dozens or hundreds of purchases done on behalf of others.

I'm not trying to dismiss Mel's concerns, because I feel bad for her, and can relate from when people I help out don't return the goodwill when I need help with something. I just prioritise people in future who have helped me out in the past. If I start to obsess over being used and ignored, and take it out on everyone, it just hurts those who have been good to me.
Just try not to let this one negative linger in your thoughts too long Mel, as it will affect everything in your life, as it already has. And it will taint your whole perspective on TFs, and the hobby that has been giving you so much joy over the years (as I read in most of your postings, including your acquisitions). You would be one bright spark that would be sorely lost if you dwelled on the negativity, or worse, gave up on collecting because it was no longer fun to do.