When collecting TFs becomes a selfish obsession...

[jaydisc]

In all seriousness though, let me explain my simple view on this:

I have no expectations of any of you other than I expect you to have no expectations of me. If the stars are aligned and we can help each other, that's awesome. If they're not, that needs to be awesome too. As soon as this becomes something of increased expectation or score keeping or anything else remotely near that, count me out.

[GoktimusPrime]

I agree. Other than scalping behaviour (which thoroughly deserves a sharp kick to the janglies), people are under no obligation to help others with their collecting. We're adults now - we can find toys for ourselves. Of course it's a really nice thing to do for your fellow collector and I've often benefitted from having other people spot and pick up stuff for me. But I'm not going to get upset at someone if they find something I want but don't inform me about it or get it for me. It's always good to treat others as you would like to be treated.

[Hereticpoo]

I agree Mel.

Some attitudes on this board need re-adjusting. Sometimes I read posts and think 'wow that was a little harsh' but what can we do about it? I just take a breath and remember that we collect toys, and ignore the posts/members that irritate me.

Because we are a community we all have the right to have an opinion. Sometimes a message on a computer screen doesn't convey tone or can be read differently, sometimes coming across as aggressive. So maybe we should be concise when we post, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

Selfishness. Unfortunatly its a fact of life, and people who are selfish will never change. I'm just happy that there are members like you and Kyle here who do contribute to the community despite the occasional snide comment or irreverant attitude. BTW Thank you Kyle, mate you are a saint. He sent me a TF before I paid for it. He didn't have to, hell its dam risky but I'm glad he trusted me enough to pay him when I could. Those little things make me believe in the community and make me want to contibute. MP-5 anyone?

Chin up trooper, at the end of the day everybody has the power of choice. All it takes to change a situation is a consious choice. You can choose to be selective about who you help, and you can choose to be the bigger person.

[Paulbot]

Part of the fun for some of us is the "hunt" part of finding the toy. When we see that someone (or in this case two people) have bought up a large number of the toys it decreases the chance of us finding them on the hunt.

I saw that tower of two-packs and had a similar reaction, although one more of jealousy, jealous of the people who found it and those who'd had one bought for them.

The latter is not all that rational since I prefer to find myself than to have others buy them, but it was my reaction. (And I'd been on a hunt for something else last night that I wasn't able to get and was feeling disappointed about that).

The Melb community is however generally really good at finding toys for each other though and Melb Missionaries has worked pretty well. I think some requests can be a bit selfish though or perhaps better to say a bit unreasonable. Like Mel said not every thing can be on the "MUST HAVE IT NOW!" list.

[i_amtrunks]

I saw that tower of two-packs and had a similar reaction, although one more of jealousy, jealous of the people who found it and those who'd had one bought for them.

I was more jealous that figures seem to appear in Mexico/Bleak City before anywhere else. At least when it seemed that Rundle Mall got things first, it was a fair pay-off for having to live in Adelaide!

Joking Joking, come on I live in a city that has too many cars, too many people, and fewer and fewer trains...

[griffin]

I'm actually quite surprised that the one 'state' group that has a scouting list of figures each wants, to help each other out, is the one that has the most problems. Probably you guys get it so good having other fans in your area helping you out so often, that you take it for granted, or expect it when every new item comes out. Or in this case, feel left out when notification isn't reciprocated.
I've posted in the Melbourne Missionaries topic to encourage people to post more of their unreleased stuff 'wants', in case we get something earlier than expected in future.

And as I mentioned in that topic, one of our community's best assets is the way a lot of us do go to the trouble of getting new or limited stuff for other members, if we can, before the toy scalpers or 'unappreciative' kids/parents get them. I don't want to see this cooperative concept be shelved or go underground, just because of one or two bad circumstances.
It might look like selfishness or monopolising like a scalper, to grab several at once, or clean out *a* store - but keep it in perspective - this is usually at one or two stores out of dozens in the one region/city, for the dozen odd members here in that region. I haven't seen any sign of anyone here in the past going to every store possible to clean out each and have a monopoly of a certain figure. And even if that inadvertantly happens because it is a store exclusive to a store chain that has limited exposure to your area, most times someone else here will help out a call for assistance. Something that wouldn't happen if one or two stores weren't 'cleaned out' before regular customers or toy scalpers get to them. And if we didn't have this cooperative community, more people would miss out than those who have been benefiting from it. Just look at the Melbourne Missionaries topic (well, over a period of time, as it gets updated all the time), and this is one unfortunate instance over what would be dozens or hundreds of purchases done on behalf of others.

I'm not trying to dismiss Mel's concerns, because I feel bad for her, and can relate from when people I help out don't return the goodwill when I need help with something. I just prioritise people in future who have helped me out in the past. If I start to obsess over being used and ignored, and take it out on everyone, it just hurts those who have been good to me.
Just try not to let this one negative linger in your thoughts too long Mel, as it will affect everything in your life, as it already has. And it will taint your whole perspective on TFs, and the hobby that has been giving you so much joy over the years (as I read in most of your postings, including your acquisitions). You would be one bright spark that would be sorely lost if you dwelled on the negativity, or worse, gave up on collecting because it was no longer fun to do.

[griffin]

I have no expectations of any of you other than I expect you to have no expectations of me. If the stars are aligned and we can help each other, that's awesome. If they're not, that needs to be awesome too. As soon as this becomes something of increased expectation or score keeping or anything else remotely near that, count me out.

That's something we also need to keep in mind.

As enthusiastic as some members are with chasing up others when they find something new or limited, others won't be, and it's an unfortunate trade-off. Some will benefit more than others, because some collect more, and some are more energetic with their hunt for new stuff.
The objective of a cooperative community is that each member helps out the greater body, to ultimately over time, benefit all those in it. Not necessarily equally, but as fairly as possible, to the extent each wants out of the arrangement.
If we start keeping track of who helps out who, and working out if everyone is getting an equal share, despite differing demands/wants, resentment will overshadow the desire to help out others.
We just hope that over time, some aren't overlooked too often, intentionally or unintentionally.

[Omega Supreme]

I just prioritise people in future who have helped me out in the past. If I start to obsess over being used and ignored, and take it out on everyone, it just hurts those who have been good to me.

Well said, I try to always look after people who have done the right thing by me, be it with TF's or anything else.

[JuzMel]

I have no expectations of any of you other than I expect you to have no expectations of me. If the stars are aligned and we can help each other, that's awesome. If they're not, that needs to be awesome too. As soon as this becomes something of increased expectation or score keeping or anything else remotely near that, count me out.

I's not so much the point of expecting the person to buy the item for you, it's just a courtesy sms telling you "Hey I spotted this here". And if I asked you to help me get one and you can't it's all good. There's no point in buying back, showing the loot then post in sightings where it's opened to the large public eye. Even if we had the chance to drive up there, other people might already have gone and cleared the shelf.

Expectation or not, you know yourself that when you spot something, you surely get for an extra for Member 1 and Member 2 automatically (Are you expected to do that?)

P.S: But I just MSN you on Monday about the Activators at Big W too (So how does that justify about u forgetting me? ) But that's besides the point cause I'm not gonna argue about last night's matter anymore.

I do appreciate the things that you have done like the bulk orders and getting Animated Soundwave for me. But it seems that whenever a new TF is out, it's just your gang clearing the loot first. It just brings down to my point, not everything is on your "MUST HAVE NOW" list right? Can't we just give and take and sometimes let others have a figure they really want first? And it makes it worse when some poor fan out there is looking so hard to find a figure while some fortunate soul actually has doubles or triples or heaps of them.

Anyway thanks for all sharing your thoughts on this topic: both negative or positive. I just wanted to make sure my feelings are heard so that I just don't leave the board for the simple small issue. I'm really all cool now. And stop collecting TFs griffin? NOOOOOO way....

[Robzy]

The general IQ in this place is relatively high

Hey! I resent that!!!

Be good to each other please.

We're adults now - we can find toys for ourselves.

ROFL Hee hee - I agree with what you're saying... this is just one of the funniest sentences I've read!

At least when it seemed that Rundle Mall got things first, it was a fair pay-off for having to live in Adelaide!

Grrrrr!!!