Simple question. Hard answer.

[GoktimusPrime]

dad starts going on about how my collecting isn't normal, and how pathetic I am.

He wants to hold you up to scrutiny by saying that you're abnormal and pathetic for collecting toys, but he doesn't seem to be applying the same scrutiny to himself. Is bullying your own son something that you would consider normal and not pathetic?

He says "I stopped doing that kind of $hit when I was 12"

So shouldn't he also grow out of intentionally belittling and teasing others? I find that far more childish (not to mention harmful) than collecting toys. As odd as he may think collecting and playing with toys is, you're not hurting anyone. Bullying you on the other hand is evidently hurting you -- and psychological pain is often greater than physical pain ("the pen is mightier than the sword").

I said I didn't care what he thought, I like it.

The phrase, "mind your own business" comes to mind. So long as your hobby doesn't effect his life, then who cares how you want to spend your own time or money? As others have said, this will become easier for you once you move out (which unfortunately does indeed require money But if you're living with an abusive parent then I see no need for you to hang around just to cop his crap)

Then he started on the fact I haven't found another job and that he and mum go out and work all day and night. (mum works days he works nights) While I sit at home and not care, He said I spend more time "playing" with transformers then I do working or anything of great importance.

And what is the basis of his accusation? Where is his evidence? Has he been monitoring you all day or conducted an investigation into how you've been spending your days, coming to the deductive conclusion that you are spending an unreasonably inordinate amount of time playing with your toys instead of looking for work?

From what you've told me, it seems like he caught you engaged with your something related to your hobby for one moment. In order for his accusation to stand, he will need further evidence to show that this behaviour has been sustained. I used to live with a housemate who was unemployed and I suspected that he was bludging all day. Everytime I was home he was either sleeping or gaming. I never saw him looking for work and I very rarely saw him out of the house job-searching. But instead of throwing accusations at him, everyday when I came home I would ask him, "How was your job hunting? Any luck?" and sit down and talk to him about how he'd been job hunting - e.g.: "Oh yeah... who did you call today?" etc. - and a lot of times he would just openly admit that he hadn't looked for any work that day. Oh, and if anyone is wondering why I was being so nosy about my housemate's search for work, it was because he was consistently behind on paying his share of rent and bills, which I would have to cover for. And he was often loaning money off me too and was building an increasing debt... so yeah, his unemployment was effecting my personal finances, so I had a vested interest in making sure that he got a job quick!

So perhaps a way to counter his accusations is to provide evidence to the contrary, like keeping a simple record of what jobs you've looked into each day and if he bothers you you can say, "Well today I've called..." or "I emailed my résumé to..." etc. - maybe a basic job seeking journal. Think of it as a "Read this and weep!" strategy... what's he going to say if you actually provide evidence to the contrary of what he's accusing you of doing? He'd look foolish if he continued to harass you.

So to get this f*&k head off my back, I'm considering selling my collection off.
Just wanted some advice, whether or not I should do this.

Any help will be appreciated.

I wouldn't sell your collection off -- I believe that this would be a decision that you would come to regret later on, because I know how much you love your TFs like the rest of us. And quite frankly, selling them off would be like admitting that your dad is right... and I don't think he is.

You've done the right thing but cutting down your TF consumption during your unemployment. Unless you've run out of money to live on, I don't see how selling your TFs is going to help. It's not as if selling your collection will get you a new job. If you need money, then perhaps you could consider Digger's advice and sell off some of your collection. If so, I would prioritise which toys are most expendable to you and sell those first -- keep the toys that are most precious to you. i.e.: sell ones which you are less likely to later regret selling. For example, don't you have both a custom and regular MP Thundercracker? Perhaps you could decide to sell one of those. Just a suggestion.

Here's a quote that always comes to my mind whenever people accuse playing with toys as being "childish".

[blackie]

not knowing your dad one bit, or you for that matter here is my advice:

there are some people you will never be able to please, no matter what you do. thats just the way some people are sadly, they will always look for the negetives, and there is no way to change that.

I almost sold off my collection about 3 weeks ago, and im still teetering on the edge of doing it, but like people before have said, quickly liqudating assets wont help in the long run, it may help you move out of home, but if you cant afford to pay the bills etc your back to square 1

I think what you need to do, as did i to an extent is work out what is most important to you. i decided that i wanted to keep my transformer collection, but since, ive cut back on so many other things. once again ive given up drinking (yes im a heathen for saying that :P but i can easily spend over $100 in a night) ive also stemmed my impulse buying, as well as things like food at work and uni etc, and budgeting (im budgeting now for the car im going to buy in 8 months)

in the end you should look at what you think is best for you not others, because in the end you have to look out for yourself first

hope some of this helps

[kup]

Diggers' right, don't let toys rule your life, sell if you must, but get away away from the old man he's going to do nothing but hang crap on you until you walk away from him.

That is the best advice. When I turned 10 my father simply grabbed all my toys and threw them out - just like that. His reason was that I was too old to play with toys.

My dad was a bad influence on me and my mother was absolutely hopeless so I had to take it upon myself to forge my own identity. Unfortunately to do that you need to be independent and that means at the very least to 'pause' your toy collecting or any other time and money consuming hobbies and get yourself a stable full time job that can provide for you without any need or aid from your parents.

Once you do that you will be free to do anything you like as long as it doesn't interfere with your independence and doesn't make you seek help from your parents, the government or anybody.

Don't sell your collection because you want your dad off your back because you will only live to regret it. If you need to sell, do it to bring yourself a step closer to independence and once you achieve it, reclaim your collection back, just like I did

[Golden Phoenix]

I know the feeling. Dad said the same kind of things.
He came into my room while I was watching some G1 saying how childish it was.

I think the problem then was was that I was living off him. At the time I didn't have a job. Now I have a job, he laid off a bit. He doesn't mind me doing it as much now, especially since I have made friends from it, he sees the social aspect of it.

Take diggers advice. If it isn't right, then it's damn on the right track.

[dirge]

If you're genuinely looking for work and trying your best to find it, then you've nothing to feel ashamed of. The fact is that those out work - no matter how hard they're looking - will have more free time.

For your father (or anyone else) to give you a hard time for being out of work is unfair. Aside from the fact you were let go of only recently, it's not like finding a job is easy at this point in time.

As some people here have alluded to, selling your collection won't do squat for your long term cash flow. Sure, you're best slowing ot stopping your TF acquisitions at the moment, but selling your TFs now just means you've got less to keep your spirits up at this difficult time - and if you decide at a later date to reacquire them, selling now is futile. If you get desperate for cash, that's different, but selling them to satisfy someone else's ideals is something I'd recommend against.

I can't comment on your home situation, but if your father refuses to accept your collecting of TFs as apart of your identity, then it does sound like he's expecting you to live up to his ideals rather than accepting you as your own person. How you deal with that is up to you - you know him better than any of us - but I don't think you should simply cave to his pressure. Be yourself, and love your life for yourself, not others.

Hope this helps (:

[autobreadticon]

take some responsibiity and grow some balls

[Paulbot]

Bread, that doesn't help!

Turtleboy you are right in the thread title: it's a hard answer.

You were doing some creative work, for a fee, when you got a hard time so I think you can ignore some of those comments. But it does not sound like a good place to live.

[Gutsman Heavy]

Don't sell them dude, they wont give you enough money to live on, only regret! By all means try and get a good job etc, but don't kill your passions for someone else, what is life with out passion?

[willocrew]

This is what I suggest:

1) Sell off whatever is unnecessary and keep only those that are absolute essentials.. this way, you will have money for a rainy day. You family situation looks precarious and if you get kicked out of your house, at least you've got sometihng to get by for at least a good solid month.

2) Stay with your parents and don't leave home yet... get a job .... put cash into the bank account... stabilise yourself... then move out.

3) your long term plan should be moving out...

[Autocon]

dont sell your collection because someone else wants you to

only sell your collection when YOU want to and not at any other time


ps if you are selling have any Beast Wars?