Transformers: G2 Prime

[Lint]

Ongoing series based on a continuity-displaced G2 Optimus Prime in the G1 Universe. Finding himself in the midst of the great war in it's, relative, infancy once again. Will G2 Prime use this opportunity to find redemption for the war in his own universe, or will he find something far more sinister?

EPISODE 1: Pilot


*CHOOOOOOOM!!!!*


G2 Prime: Uuurgh, I've got to stop mixing energon & eccies


CJ: Looks like someone's mashed up attempt at ruining someone elses childhood
Kup: It's a G2 Prime Cliffjumper, a smaller type of Prime.
G2 Prime: ......


G2 Prime: Stay away from me!!! Who's there?!? Where am I?
Warpath: This Prime has lost his marbles! CLACK!


Kup: Calm down Prime, it's us.
G2 Prime: Kup?... Warpath? Cliffjumper? But you're all dead, how can this be? Waiiit a minute.
[A minute passes]
G2 Prime: AUTOBOTS I am not the Optimus Prime you know.


G2 Prime: I am from... THE FUTURE
Kup: Fan-friggin-tastic
CJ: Hmph. Sure you are.


G2 Prime: Kup! You look... taller than I remember
Kup: I think its you who has shrunk some


G2 Prime: Warpath, good to see you again
Warpath: GONG!


G2 Prime: Cliffjumper. Err... Nevermind


G2 Prime: Hmm, I may be in the past but things are... different


G2 Prime: Like that! What the hell are you holding Cliffjumper? It looks like you're waving around a child curled up in the foetal position.


Blesser: My name is Blesser sir! I am Cliffjumper's targetmaster partner! I like to save lives!
G2 Prime: Oh you're one of those things! Forgive me I havent seen one of your kind for many gigacycles. I'm err, sure you two make a... cute couple.


G2 Prime: So Kup, whats the situation?
Kup: We just had a really big battle with the Decepticons. It was crazy stuff. Warpath, CJ and I managed to get out of there before the stuff got real. I'm getting too old for this stuff.
G2 Prime: What about the rest of the Autobots?
Kup: I don't know we lost all communications after the 'incident'. I suspect Soundwave is involved. We had been tracking him for decacycles until we found you. Smoked more than a few Decepticons while we were at it.


G2 Prime: So just you three huh? Well it sounds like you are in sore need a bit of leadership
Kup: Not really


*Cue overly dramatic music*
G2 Prime: I will lead us to find Soundwave and restore communications to the rest of the Autobots. Then I will rally our forces and gain new allies through a series of unprobably random encounters so that we can defeat Megatron and the Decepticons ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!
Warpath: BARF!
Kup: Shut up kid

[loophole]

i like

[1AZRAEL1]

Heh cool story, I will have to keep my eye on this one.

[Hursticon]

LOL, I'm curious also to see where this goes - I have a feeling that Kup will be the maker of his own demise though.

[Lint]

*March, march, march, march*


G2 PRIME: Hey Warpath you're a military enthusiast kind of bot. Why don't you sing us a bit of a marching tune while we trek across this wasteland?
WARPATH: ZOW! I am on it like a...
KUP: Blaster stuck in replay
CJ: Replay


WARPATH: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! I want you in my room, lets spend the night together. From now until...


G2 PRIME: Y'know I was thinking of something more traditional, Warpath
KUP: If yer wan't tradition you're looking at him kid
G2 PRIME: Traditional + 1. Hey where's Cliffjumper?
KUP: Oh he went off to have his own adventures
G2 PRIME: What?!? You can't just dissapear randomly whenever you please. What kind of show are you running here?
KUP: It's just the way it is Prime. Don't you worry he'll be back. Perhaps coloured differently and probably mute.


G2 PRIME: Hmmm, you're right old friend.
KUP: Oh here we go
G2 PRIME: I remember now that these were indeed the ways of old. However, being from the future, I can tell you much has changed since those innocent times of long ago.
KUP: Oh for serious, I wouldn't have guessed
G2 PRIME: Experience has taught me that we can ill afford to have members of our team flake on us at random intervals. It will get us all killed.
KUP: Experience has taught me that if we stand around all day talking we're more likely to get killed


G2 PRIME: I myself have changed much since those times. I have become more determined to end this war and learnt to be more efficient about it. You may have noticed that I have even given up firearms and taken up the way of the blade.
WARPATH: Heresy!!!


G2 PRIME: No Warpath, Wisdom. Aeons of battle have honed my combat skills. I have even been given the title "Laser". I will teach the Autobots of this era the way of the "Laser" and hence how to fight properly.
KUP: Primus, how many cygars am I going to waste on this monologue


G2 PRIME: Oh comon Warpath is not THAT astonishing you can put your arms down.
WARPATH: Errr Prime...


SONAR: Stand and deliver!
G2 PRIME: What?!?


G2 PRIME: Your kind is NOT WELCOME HERE!
SONAR: Hey what the?!?


G2 PRIME: The only thing I will deliver you Decepticon...
SONAR: Hey let me go. We havent even shot volleys at each other at close range yet!


G2 PRIME: ... is a quick and merciless death you mass murderer!


G2 PRIME: RAAAARGHH!!!


WARPATH: Damn Optimus...


G2 PRIME: Damn what? You have a freakin cannon in your chest, why didn't you just shoot him!?! We could have been all killed!
WARPATH: But Prime, it was only Sonar. BLOOP! Besides which, if we were taken prisoner it would only be a matter of time before Cliffjumper returned to find us and blew the KABLOOIE! out of him.


G2 PRIME: Sonar? Who the heck is Sonar??? And why is he so unaesthetically pleasing?!?
WARPATH: Thats really a matter of opinion Prime. Some people reckon neon colours and stupid flames are unappealing. YAKK!
KUP: Ugh


G2 PRIME: Perhaps Warpath. Autobots, we face an enemy far greater than I had previously imagined. It has become apparent to me that someone has tampered with the natural course of history to develop a new, even more threatening breed of enemy. The ugly Decepticon!
WARPATH: ......
G2 PRIME: I swear to hunt down and destroy every one of these abominations and together we will END THIS WAR
KUP: Slag

[1AZRAEL1]

Kups leg is bent backwards in the last few pics

All in all, quite a hilarious story so far.

[Lint]

G2 Prime: Agh, I hate sand. It's getting into all my servos and grease nipples.
Kup: I think my leg is bung from all this desert trekking


G2 Prime: Hey Warpath, how come all this cross country travel hasn't taken a toll on you?
Warpath: I've got roller skates baby! SKEET!
Kup: They're treads and you should be sinking like a Trypticon on planet Goo. Nothing has been the same since the 'incident'. Not even the darned laws of physics. Ugh.


Warpath: I think I see a Mirage
G2 Prime: Yeah that is natural, we are in a desert afterall with no end in sight. The heat must be getting to you.
Warpath: No, I mean an actual Mirage


*Sound of an F1 vehicle skidding to a halt on a sand dune*
Warpath: See?
Kup: Ah yeh, I sent Mirage out to scout for Soundwave not long after we realised the communications were shot. Mirage, transform and report.


Mirage: Prime? You're back? We thought you had dissapeared for good!
Kup: No this is G2 Prime. He's from the future or something.
Mirage: Oh? Ok.
G2 Prime: Good to see you old friend. Oh look you brought back an antenna thing. Does this mean we can get Foxtel?
Kup: Don't mind him, just report.


Mirage: It took a while and I was running short of premium energon but I managed to locate Soundwave and his band of Decepticons.
G2 Prime: In the future, the Murdoch empire sided with the Decepticons. So out of principle I havent watched Foxtel in aeons.
Mirage: However it was not at all as I expected. They looked to be in about as much disarray as we are. Not what one would expect if they were the ones purposefully jamming our communications.


G2 Prime: However since The Murdochs haven't turned on us yet in this era I am totally allowed to watch Gossip Girl again.


Mirage: ..... Anyway, I have successfully tracked their location. Now that we have the numbers I feel that we can teach them a short, sharp lesson in desert etiquette. If you follow me I will lead you rig//


SHAKK!
Warpath: MIRAGE!


Cliffjumper: J'accuse, you traitorous slag-licker!


Kup: God-donuts Cliffjumper not again!
Cliffjumper: What? I was just about to put a big fat hole in Soundwave's head when I noticed this turncoat leaving their camp. He was obviously on his way to lead you guys into a Decepticon trap. I had to put an end to him.


Meanwhile, high above...
G2 Prime: I'd hate to say this, but this is pretty much how I remember it going down. Except he was in the Conservatory with the spanner.


Soundwave: Laserbeak. Report.
Dreadwing: I have located the Autobots. They appear to be in even more disarray than we are. In fact I only found them so quickly because they caused this big explosion in the dunes. They're killing one another out there.
Soundwave: My sensors indicate you have more data. Do continue.
Dreadwing: Yeh, theres also an Autobot whom I've never seen before. He's hard to describe. Looks like a shortarse version of prime with a glowstick.
Soundwave: Interesting.


Soundwave: Ravage, Report.
Overbite: Errr, my name is Ove...
Dreadwing: Shhh! You idiot. The desert's fried his circuits, just go with it
Overbite: Err, nothing much to report Soundwave sir. Dust storms on the western front.


Snarl: Hey whats going on guys?
Soundwave: ................ Howlback. Why have you transformed yourself into a bad repaint of Steeljaw?
Snarl: Uhh, what?
Dreadwing: If I remember rightly it was for an infiltration mission Soundwave sir!
Overbite: Y'know Dreadwing. What the heck do you propose we do when he tries to fold us up and jam us in there?