Was invited to play in a proper mens 5 a side team with people that play for actual football clubs. We're losing 0-1, our captain the tactical genius says "Sharky, you're on up front".

First shot, blocked by a hand, won us a penalty. 1-1

Ten minutes from time, holding off two defenders I volley it into the bottom corner on the slide. 2-1.

Game ends, I am hero.